


Wild Heart

by upsgirl88



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 57,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/upsgirl88/pseuds/upsgirl88
Summary: Sometimes fate has other plans than the life you envisioned for yourself. Brienne painfully learns that when her world is shattered. The last person she would have ever expected makes an appearance in her life just when she needs someone the most. This is a Braime love story filled with romance, passion, friendship, fear, anger & so many other emotions. But the greatest... is love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my most popular AU concepts for another fandom so I thought it might be fun to rework it for J/B. There are parts that some might find a stretch such as some of the relationships that develop but I'll try to give backstory to fix anything that might contradict the show. But it's an AU and it's really sweet, romantic, fun and even a tiny bit angsty which is rare for me. I hope you'll give it a chance. I know Brienne is much younger than Ned, Catelyn and Jaime in the books, but for the purpose of this fic they are all the same age. (PS I was going to wait to start this one until I finished one of the others, but I had 13 fics posted and I'm a weirdo about the Number 13, LOL) Have a great night!

Brienne felt the tears returning the moment she took a seat in the corner of the train depot. It was a tiny room, but it was late and the place was mostly deserted. Still, she didn’t want to cry in public - all she wanted was to run - to get away from the small town she’d called home her entire life. 

Thankfully the news hadn’t spread yet, but it would soon. It never took long in a town like hers. “Aren’t you getting married in a few days?” That’s what Mr. Thompson had asked when she purchased the train ticket. “Just meeting some friends for a last minute bachelorette party in the city.” It was a full out lie and chances were he didn’t buy it, but he’d left her alone and didn’t push. 

Brienne jumped when the clock on the wall made a loud gong sound, followed by 11 more. Midnight. Of course a small town train station would have a huge old fashioned clock on the wall. That’s the kind of town she lived in. And that was the kind of town she needed to get away from before the gossip mill picked up her story first thing in the morning. 

Pittsburgh - that was her destination. It wasn’t far geographically, only a couple hours train ride, just over 300 miles - but it was a whole different world and it was somewhere she didn’t have to be Brienne - the girl who was pretty much stood up at the altar. Just the thought made her eyes sting with tears and she struggled to control them. She’d already been crying for 4 hours since he told her he couldn’t marry her. Brienne couldn’t believe there were tears left to come out. They went back and forth between tears of sadness and despair and tears of anger - made worse because she hated crying in the first place. 

She sighed and looked at the clock again. 12:02. Only two minutes had passed in what felt like an hour. The boarding time on her ticket said 12:35 - a lifetime away at this rate. Brienne felt the rumbling and knew a train was coming into the station. She prayed no one was actually getting off there so she wouldn’t have to risk running into anyone who knew her. Just to be safe she decided to head into the restroom. 

When she looked in the mirror she gasped. Her face was puffy. Not just her eyes, like the whole thing, red and puffy. Her short blonde waves were wild and wouldn’t tame no matter how hard she tried. But the worst part was the look in her eyes. She could take one glance in the mirror and see absolutely everything she was feeling reflecting back in those clear blue eyes: sadness, anger, confusion, fear and the reason she was running - embarrassment. The one thing she kept coming back to was how she couldn’t have seen it before. She wondered how she could be so stupid. Had everyone known but her? Brienne didn’t want to know the answer to that question. 

She killed some time by going pee, although she really didn’t need to go. Then she washed her hands twice and splashed water on her face. She added some water to her hair, slicking it back off her forehead, hoping it might help, but soon gave up - it was pointless. When Brienne was satisfied she had given people enough time to get off the train and leave she exited the restroom and headed towards the corner she’d occupied earlier. Just before she turned to take a seat she heard a voice, “Brienne? That you?” 

She froze, her heart pounding. It was a voice she hadn’t heard in years, but she knew exactly who it was. She knew she should turn around, he was probably already walking up behind her, but she couldn’t move. On a list of the last people she ever hoped to run into he was way near the top. “Brienne?” he said again. Finally she turned. 

“Hi Jaime,” she said softly, trying to smile. Did he know? He must have talked to Ned, right? 

“What the fuck is going on?” he asked, eying her suspiciously. Nope, clearly he had no idea. 

“I… um… I… I’m leaving,” she stammered, unsure of where to even begin. 

“Leaving,” he repeated. “But the wedding is this weekend…” His voice trailed off and the confusion on his face deepened. “What… why?” 

“Just go ask Ned,” Brienne snapped. “He can explain everything. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m going out to the platform.” She went to move around him but Jaime blocked her way. “Move,” she hissed. 

He shook his head. “Not until you tell me what’s going on.” 

Brienne didn’t want to tell him anything. She just wanted him to go away. But it was clear that wasn’t going to happen and she knew Jaime Lannister was a stubborn guy. “Fine. Ned loves Catelyn. Wedding cancelled. I’m leaving. Now move.” 

“What?” Jaime gasped. “You aren’t serious… The wedding is in 3 days…” 

“Was,” Brienne corrected him. “It was.” Those were the last words she got out before she broke down. Was - past tense. It was over. Her plans, the life she’d been imagining for years - gone. The tears reappeared and were streaming down her face in no time. And once again she was fucking angry that the damn tears just kept coming and she had no control over it. 

“I don’t know what the fuck happened, but I do know one thing - you aren’t leaving,” Jaime said. “Come on,” he wrapped an arm around her and made an attempt to guide her towards the door. 

Brienne stopped him. “What are you doing?” she sniffed. “My train will be here any minute…” 

“You aren’t leaving,” he repeated. 

“I am,” she insisted stubbornly. She had yet to break away from him because despite everything, having another person’s arm around her was comforting. 

“Listen,” Jaime said, turning to face her. He removed his arm but he put a hand on her shoulder. “We’re gonna go somewhere and talk. If you still wanna run when we’re done I’ll buy you a ticket to wherever you want to go.” He touched her chin and forced her to look at him. For the first time in many, many years she allowed herself to really look at him. Jaime. The bad boy in high school. The one they all knew would leave their little town as soon as he could. The guy all the girls swooned over, yet he never had a clue. Jaime - Ned’s best friend until the end of time. Even miles apart they were connected, always had been, always would be. But he had no idea what had happened. Ned hadn’t told him - that was very clear. “Deal?” he said, his voice low and husky. 

Finally Brienne nodded. She hadn’t realized until that very moment that the last thing she wanted was to be alone. If she got on that train there was no one but her. Maybe once they were done talking she would be ready, but she recognized that with the way she was feeling right then - leaving, putting herself in solitude - was only going to make it worse. 

“Good, let’s go,” Jaime said. 

“Wh-where are we going?” she asked. “Do you have a car?” 

“Nope,” he replied, slinging an arm around her again. “You know where we’re going,” he added, shooting her a little smile. Not far from the train station there was this little flat area on the side of a hill that overlooked the tracks. When the trains went by you could feel the breeze and the rumble. Back in high school kids often jumped onto the top of trains slowing as they made their way into the station. It was dangerous, but thankfully there had never been a serious injury. Though many jumpers had been grounded for a week or even thrown in the town jail for the night. 

“As long as you promise you’re not going to be an idiot,” Brienne warned him. Now that they were adults she knew how dangerous and stupid the little trick was. She’d witnessed Jaime jump many times when they were kids - he was good at it. But no matter who was making that leap she always felt like she was going to vomit until she saw they were safe. 

“Nah, I’m too old for that now,” Jaime joked. 29 - was that old? It hadn’t felt like it a few hours ago, but now with no certain future Brienne was terrified that 30 was only a few months away. He led the way up the hill and along the familiar path. On the weekend there would be kids there - for sure. But in the middle of the week at midnight - chances were slim. Jaime reached out a hand to help her make the last step up onto the plateau. 

Just as they sat she could feel the rumbling starting already. It was the train she was going to take coming into the station. Brienne closed her eyes and let the reminder of her youth take over her body. How many times had she been there before? With Ned….Jaime… Catelyn… Petyr and Lysa… Robert… But that was a lifetime ago. The rumbling got stronger and still she kept her eyes closed. As the train passed she felt the air rush up into her face and swirl through her hair. But even with her eyes squeezed shut the tears found a way out and by the time the train was fully by them she was crying again. 

“Hey,” Jaime said, nudging her. “You know I hate it when chicks cry right?” 

“Fuck you,” Brienne hissed, glaring at him. Somehow in her anger at his insensitivity the tears paused momentarily. 

“That’s better,” he said with a little grin. “You knew I was joking though, hmm?” Brienne sighed and glared at him again, but the fire she’d felt moments before was gone. “I don’t care if you cry, but we aren’t gonna get any talking done if you don’t stop.” She knew he was right and brushed the remaining tears off her cheek with the back of her hand. 

“Look, you don’t have to do this,” Brienne started. “It’s late - you must have somewhere you need to be.” 

“Well, there was a wedding I had to get ready for but…” Jaime joked. “Too soon?” 

Despite everything bad she was feeling Brienne surprised herself and she laughed. “I hate you,” she sighed, unable to hide the smile. 

“Yep. You always did,” he replied, grinning back at her. 

“I did not,” she countered. 

“Coulda fooled me,” Jaime snorted. “Look, I was a little shit - I know it. Don’t feel bad. You were the good girl, smart, proper - and I was a loose cannon.” He bumped her shoulder. “I’m still a loose cannon, but I did grow up a bit - promise.” 

Brienne eyed him. He looked sincere and so far he’d given her no reason to doubt him in any way. Who would have thought that on the worst night of her life it would be Jaime Lannister who made her laugh? But here they were. Her heart was torn to shreds yet somehow he’d made her smile. It wouldn’t last. Jaime always screwed things up - always. Yet he was all she had right then and Brienne was thankful she wasn’t alone. “You really don’t know anything?” she asked, still finding it hard to believe that Ned hadn’t given Jaime a clue at all. They may not have seen each other much but Brienne knew they talked. 

Jaime shook his head. “I came here to be best man in my best friend’s wedding. That’s all I know.” 

“Well maybe you’ll still get to be best man… but the groom wants to marry the maid of honor, not the bride,” Brienne said bitterly. She went back and forth between sadness and anger. And she was never sure if she was more angry with Ned or Catelyn. “How could I be so stupid?” she asked, feeling tears well up for the millionth time. 

“Hey,” Jaime said sharply. “You aren’t stupid. Don’t want to hear that again,” he warned. “Start at the beginning and don’t leave anything out - I got all night.” 

Brienne nodded and started to tell him about the moment, only hours before, that her life changed completely…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading the first chapter! This chapter sets up what happened with Ned, Brienne and Catelyn and then chapter 3 you'll finally get Jaime's back story and why he was the rebellious kid he was as well as where he's at in life now. I'm really excited to share this idea again and rework it to fit Braime. It's so fun and sweet with lots of adorable moments. I really do hope you guys enjoy.

Before Brienne could get out two words Jaime interrupted her. “Do me a favour ‘kay? Pretend I’m not me.” She gave him a curious look. “I’m not the guy you remember and I’m sure as hell not Ned’s best friend.” Brienne nodded slowly. “You need to talk to someone and get out all the shit that’s eating you up. If I’m me you aren’t gonna say everything that’s on your mind.” 

“Okay, I’ll try,” she replied. Brienne hesitated, wondering where to start. There wasn’t really anything he needed to know before what happened earlier that day because she’d been completely blindsided. “I didn’t know it was coming,” she said, letting her inner thoughts out. “I had no idea. God,” she slammed her fist onto her own thigh, hard, too hard - it hurt and that made her even more angry. “I loved him,” Brienne hissed. “I love him still… I think. I don’t know. No - I hate him,” she decided. “Dammit,” she sighed. “I’m not getting anywhere.” She glanced over at Jaime and saw he was being extremely patient. He didn’t look annoyed or like he wanted her to hurry. He looked just like he’d said earlier, like he had all night to listen to her talk. 

“It’s alright,” he drawled, his voice light and gentle. It took her by surprise. This was Jaime. Jaime Lannister. He wasn’t kind or patient… at least he never was when they were kids. She never understood how Ned and Jaime stayed friends. Ned had wanted to be a cop as long as she could remember and Jaime always seemed the rebellious type of kid he would eventually be arresting. Yet, even now, almost 12 years since Jaime had barely graduated and left the small town life in his dust, Ned still loved him like a brother. 12 years… had it really been that long since she’d seen Jaime? Ned often made weekend trips to meet up with him - but their wedding was the first thing that had actually brought Jaime back to town. 

He was even more handsome than he’d been as a teenager. Brienne never really looked at him the way most girls did. She realized now that it was most likely because she’d always been infatuated with Ned. They were crushing on each other in middle school and were together all through high school. Ned was all she’d ever known. They were supposed to grow up, get married, have babies… Ned would be the local police man and Brienne would find her own way to help people, protect others - because that’s the type of person she’d always been. 

She had gone through periods of insecurity in her teens. She was never the pretty girl, not like Catelyn or Jaime’s twin sister Cersei. They were both gorgeous, with that conventional beauty that drew eyes to them the moment they walked in the room. Brienne was tall, really tall, and rather plain. She’d changed a bit with age, makeup, more feminine clothes sometimes, but she never would be the girly kind of girl that most of her friends were. She would be a tomboy for life - and she’d learned to accept that. She also knew that Ned loved her just the way she was - well at least she thought he had, but maybe she’d been wrong all along. 

Jaime was different than the rest of them. He always seemed, well, he was always ready to go. He wasn’t the type of guy who was going to settle down and raise babies - no, Jaime was a heartbreaker. As far as she knew he’d still never settled down. He drove truck - long haul, all over the United States, but his most frequent route was from Philly to somewhere in Texas, near the mexican border. Philly was where Ned would go to meet up with his lifelong pal. Brienne didn’t know what they did on their boys weekends, but she’d always trusted Ned… right up until that afternoon. 

“Jaime, I’m begging you to be honest with me - did he ever… did he ever tell you how he felt about Catelyn?” Brienne pleaded with him. 

“Hey, I’m not Jaime right now, remember?” He started. “But I’ll answer you because it’s easy… no. Never. I know I’m not around you guys but Ned tells me everything… well, I thought he did,” Jaime finished bitterly. She realized that they actually had common ground and it was comforting. “Keep going,” he encouraged her, after a moment of quiet. 

“Ned came to me… just after lunch today…” As she spoke, and the story spilled out of her Brienne was right back there in her mind…

_“We need to talk…” The second those words come out of someone’s mouth an ominous feeling takes over and that’s exactly what happened for Brienne._

_“Okay… what’s going on? What’s wrong?” she blurted out, her heart already pounding wildly._

_“Brienne… I don’t know how to say this…” Ned’’s eyes were full of concern and she knew it was bad. She’d looked into those eyes for most of her life - she knew him and she knew this wasn’t going to be anything but awful news. “I can’t marry you.”_

_“Oh, okay,” she replied. She was too stunned to say anything but the idiotic response that had come out of her mouth. “Why?”_

_Ned looked shocked at her response, but he continued. “I’m in love with someone else.”_

_“What? WHAT?” That was when she finally lost it. Brienne stood, her entire body shaking. She couldn’t control her hands and she wasn’t sure her legs were going to hold her._

_“God, I am so sorry babe…” Ned said, standing up and trying to reach for her. No fucking way, Brienne thought, swatting away his advances. No way he’s going to hurt me like this and then get to feel better by comforting me. “I tried so hard to get over it. I kept telling myself it was just an infatuation. You and I have been together all our lives - I thought she was just intriguing because she’s not you… but…”_

_“Who is she?” Brienne seethed. “Who is she Ned? Do I know her?” The tears had arrived by that point and they were streaming down her face. Brienne couldn’t remember a time she’d ever felt as angry as she did in that moment, but little did she know it was about to get even worse. “Who is she?” she screamed when he still hadn’t answered._

_“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over again. He was crying too but Brienne didn’t feel anything because of it. She didn’t feel the need to reach out to him. She didn’t feel the need to help him. The only thing she felt was the urge to make him cry harder and make him hurt more because that’s what he’d done to her._

_“Who is it?” Brienne screamed again. She wildly grabbed the front of his shirt and then shoved him. Ned didn’t even try to stop himself from falling back onto the couch._

_“Catelyn,” he whispered._

_Catelyn? Had she heard him right? How could it be her? No, she hadn’t heard that right, Brienne was certain of it. “Excuse me?”_

_“Catelyn,” he said a little louder, avoiding her eyes._

_“No… No… No…” Brienne started to hyperventilate. It couldn’t be. Catelyn Tully was her best friend - her person, the one she trusted with everything. She was panicking and she couldn’t catch her breath. I’m going to pass out, she thought. And that’s when she felt Ned’s arms around her. He was hugging her, his comfortable, familiar embrace that she’d known practically her entire life. As the tears flowed and sobs wracked her body Brienne let him hold her even though it was his fault in the first place. But once she caught her breath she shoved him again. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped. “Get out… get the fuck out…” she screamed. Ned nodded and started to back away. “No wait… I want to know. Tell me everything. Are you sleeping with her? How long have you been hiding this from me?” Brienne decided she couldn’t let him leave without knowing or she would just wonder until she drove herself crazy._

_“No, no Brienne, it’s not like that. I’ve never cheated on you - I swear… we wouldn’t do that to you,” he insisted. Brienne ughed and then she sobbed. It was all so ridiculous and confusing. “I have loved her for a while,” he said quietly. “But I was thinking last night about the wedding and our future… and I realized that I can’t marry you until I get these feelings resolved.” He stopped talking and looked at her. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”_

_“You’ve already ripped my heart out, might as well stomp on it too,” she replied icily. “Tell me.”_

_“I went to Catelyn and I told her how I felt,” Ned spoke slowly. “She told me she was feeling exactly the same thing, but she had never said anything because she didn’t want to hurt you.” He reached out and tried to touch her again but Brienne stepped back. “Once I knew she felt the same way… it changed everything.”_

_That was all she needed to hear. Brienne kicked him out, curled up in a ball on her couch and cried, more than she’d ever cried in her life. She hated crying, so much. It made her feel weak and that was the last thing she wanted to feel right then, but she couldn’t make the tears stop. She ignored the phone calls. She ignored the knocks on the door. When Ned returned to check on her 3 hours later she kicked him out again and locked the door behind him._

“I was supposed to get married in 3 days. There’s a dress hanging in my closet at home. I hate dresses, but this one is so beautiful. He couldn’t have figured this out weeks ago? Months ago? Before he proposed?” Brienne spat bitterly as she finished up her story. 

“Would it have hurt any less?” Jaime asked gently. 

Brienne shrugged. “Probably not, but it wouldn’t be so embarrassing. People are coming for a wedding that’s not going to happen,” she sighed. “Look at you… you’re here and you don’t need to be. You didn’t have to come back to this stupid town that you hate so much. But here you are…” 

“Maybe I’m supposed to be here anyway,” Jaime said, his voice barely above a whisper. What did that mean, Brienne wondered. She was too upset to ask him, too many other things flooding her mind. 

As much as she was angry at Ned and Catelyn she couldn’t help but wonder what she’d done wrong. “Why wasn’t I good enough?” she said out loud. Brienne followed it up with a little laugh. “Ha, look at Catelyn - she’s gorgeous, exotic even… and I’m just… just me. Big and tall, but otherwise ordinary Brienne.” 

Jaime spoke sharply and it caught her attention. “He’s an idiot. You are beautiful, and kind, and smart and funny… you’re everything any man would ever need… everything he should want. Anyone who can’t see that is just… well, fucking stupid,” he finished. 

Brienne studied his face and wondered if he was saying that because he was still playing the role of her loyal listener or if that had actually come from the real Jaime. She quickly dismissed the idea. He was saying what he thought she needed to hear - that had to be it. “Thanks,” she replied. “But you don’t have to do that.” 

“Do what?” he asked. 

“You know, say all the right things just to make me feel better,” Brienne shrugged. “It’s sweet, but you don’t have to.” 

“I meant everything I said,” Jaime insisted. “Ned might be my best friend but he’s still an idiot and an asshole.” Brienne almost teared up at the mention of his name, but she fought them off this time. “He’s throwing away something special and some day… another man is going to benefit greatly.” Jaime slid closer and put an arm around her. “Hey, no more tears tonight - please?” Brienne leaned on him, once again so incredibly thankful to have someone to comfort her. “Will you stay?” he asked softly. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed. She had no idea how she could face all these people who had known her since she was born when she felt so embarrassed. 

“If you want to leave we can go back to the station now and I’ll buy you that ticket, put you on a train and then go tell Ned was a fucking ass he is,” Jaime said, turning slightly to look at her. “Or… you can stay here with me and we’ll talk until the sun comes up about anything and everything but Ned and Catelyn.” Brienne searched his eyes, trying to find that wild, crazy look she remembered. There was always a hint of anger and defiance, but right then… she couldn’t find any of that. What she saw was kindness, a desire to help and a deep concern. He was worried about her and it was very sweet. Jaime reached out and moved away a stray wisp of hair from in front of her eye. “So, blue eyes... what’s it gonna be?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for jumping in to this one with me! I love you all! So I know the backstory might seem a bit different than what we might expect from the show, but I feel like in a modern setting where Jaime isn't in love with his sister he would be a lot more upset by her and Tywin's hatred of Tyrion and just like he did on the show/book by joining the Kingsguard, he would find ways to rebel against his father. Hope you guys keep enjoying, there's some fun, sweet stuff coming up. This fic is super fluffy in parts and Jaime is very swoon worthy :)

Before they could start talking again they felt the light tremor indicating another train was on the way. “Stand up, quick,” Jaime instructed. “Do you trust me?” Brienne nodded. She did. After all the kindness he’d shown her already, how could she not? “‘Kay, close your eyes.” She gave him a look but did as he asked. 

She felt his arm wrap around her from behind. “What are you doing?” she asked, trying to turn towards him. It was strange having a man holding her that was so close to the same height, when she was used to Ned being much shorter. 

“You said you trusted me, close your eyes and don’t open them again,” he replied, giving her a smirk. Brienne tried to relax. It wasn’t easy but eventually she just let her guard down completely. The ground was rumbling under their feet and the train was getting closer. Jaime started to walk her forward and she felt her heart pick up speed. What was he doing? They had to be getting close to the edge. “I won’t let you fall,” he whispered in her ear, as if he was reading her mind. “Just enjoy it.” 

Allowing him to hold her, keeping her safe, Brienne took a deep breath and waited. The sound was louder, the train was close. Finally it was right there, she knew without looking because she could feel the change in the air around her. There was a sucking feeling followed by a huge whoosh of air that came from her toes all the way up her body, until her hair was flying wildly. It was so strong it almost felt like it would lift her off her feet and she could fly. Without a second thought she put her arms out and tilted her face towards the night sky. For the first time in hours she felt completely free. Brienne smiled as she listened to the sound of the long train moving below them and enjoyed the continuous swirl of air that was flowing up her body. She even enjoyed the security of Jaime holding her. 

When the train finally passed and the ground stopped shaking she opened her eyes. “Oh God,” she gasped, when she saw just how close to the edge she was. Jaime stepped backwards, moving her to safety. “That was amazing,” she said as he released her. “Thank you.” 

He shrugged and actually blushed - just a bit. “I remember that feeling from when I was a kid… before I would jump.” Brienne gave him a look of disapproval. “I know, I know. But it was this moment of complete freedom… to be honest, I think it’s why I jumped so many times - because I craved that feeling and then once I was already there on the edge I felt committed…” She was intrigued listening to him. It was definitely a side of Jaime she’d never known. Maybe there was more to him back then after all… 

“Tell me about yourself,” Brienne blurted out. She was struck with a desire to know how he’d gone from that rebellious rich kid to the man standing in front of her, who she knew hadn’t taken a cent of daddy’s money in well over a decade. “I need a distraction,” she explained. “Tell me where you went when you left here all those years ago and what you do now? And why you never came back.” 

Jaime walked back to where they’d been sitting and dropped to the ground, so she resumed her position as well. “I went to Pittsburgh first,” he began his story. “Found some odd jobs, even lived in shelters for a while…” Brienne looked at him, both shocked and sad. “Nah, it wasn’t like that,” he said quickly. “It wasn’t bad. I was so happy to have my freedom from my father and the things I felt were weighing me down that I didn’t mind at all.” That made her feel better, she hated the idea of him, or anyone, struggling to get by with no safe place to live. “I made friends and one was a trucker. I went with him on a run out to the west coast and loved it.” Jaime paused in thought and she waited patiently, just like he had for her earlier. “I decided I could do it, I wanted to. So I saved up until I could get my license, moved to Philly and got a job right away.” He looked at her. “There isn’t much more to tell than that, but I can answer questions if you have some.” 

“Why did you leave?” Was her first question. “What made you hate this town so much?” 

Jaime snorted. “You try being the kid whose mom tragically died, whose dad was a rich prick and whose sister was the most popular girl in school. The only reason I didn’t get sent off to juvie was because people felt sorry for me. Got away with a lot of shit because my dad was such an asshole - apple didn’t fall far from the tree and all that, so they didn’t blame me.” He sighed, “It just made me want to see what else I could get away with. And of course how badly I could piss off my father. ” Jaime picked up a rock and threw it up in the air. She watched him catch it easily. “I was so tired of the pity from those who understood and the envy from those who didn’t. And seeing everyone else in their perfect little houses with their perfect little lives, birthday parties with friends, a real Christmas with their families, even just a sit down dinner on Sunday where people got along for more than 5 minutes…” 

“I… I never thought of it that way,” Brienne stammered. “I’m so sorry.” She truly had never considered what it must have been like for him. It was true, all his friends had perfectly happy lives, nothing like Jaime’s. Yeah he came from a very rich family, but his mother died when his little brother was born, his little brother was a dwarf, his father didn’t know anything about love or compassion and his twin sister Cersei was pretty much a female clone of their father. She was popular because people were scared not to like her. 

Thinking back, Ned’s parents had practically raised Jaime - in all the ways they could. They invited him for Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving, sleepovers, family trips and just treated him like a second son. But Jaime just couldn’t stay out of trouble and eventually they had to let him go his own way. To this day though, Brienne knew that Ned’s mom and dad would do anything to help the man sitting beside her. The Starks were truly good people, right to the core… and she had thought Ned was cut from the same cloth. 

There was actually a long history of family discord between the Starks and the Lannisters and while Tywin had carried that grudge into the present, Ned’s parents had left it in the past. Brienne wondered if Jaime had been even more drawn to Ned because he knew that his dad loathed him and his family. It was definitely a constant thorn in Tywin’s side that his son’s best friend was a Stark. And Jamie lived to push his father’s buttons. 

“It’s alright,” Jaime drawled. “Turned out just fine… I think.” 

“I think… you might be right,” Brienne replied, giving him a little smile. It the last couple hours were any indication - Jaime was a different guy and she was more than a little intrigued by the change in him. 

“Why did you hate your dad so much?” Brienne asked. She’d always wondered that. She knew there were the obvious reason, Tywin was a jerk. But people have jerks for parents that they still love. 

“Middle child syndrome?” Jaime chuckled. Cersei was born just moments earlier than him. He got more serious, “He treated Tyrion like a piece of trash. Him and Cersei both. They hate him and blame him for my mom dying. But the funny part is… he’s still a Lannister and I’m the outcast.” Jaime shrugged, “I just hated him and everything he stood for. I hated what he turned my sister into and what he expected from me. He thought he could hold money over my head and I would do what he wanted, but I didn’t care about that, still don’t.” Jaime grinned, “you should have seen the look on his face when I told him he could shove my trust fund right up his ass.” 

Brienne laughed, she would have liked to see that! “So, you never came back? Not once?” 

Jaime shook his head. “Nope, not until tonight.” 

“What about your brother? Your Sister?” Brienne wondered. 

“They both have come to visit me in Philly. More so Tyrion since Cersei worries about making dear daddy mad by visiting the black sheep and because my house isn’t nice enough,” Jaime scoffed. “But it’s good to see them when they do come,” he admitted. “The old man…you know what happened to him. Karma is a bitch, but the poor people involved didn’t deserve what happened to them.” Brienne did know. Jaime’s dad was in a car accident a few years back and killed a young couple passing through the area. It turned out he blew way over the limit and was convicted of two counts of vehicular manslaughter as well as a bunch of other things - and he was currently residing in the Pennsylvania State Prison. No amount of money or fancy lawyers could get him out of the huge mistake of driving after having a few too many with a big client from overseas. 

“Do you miss it? Miss living here… at all?” Brienne continued. 

Jaime thought for a moment. “There are a few things I miss I guess…” His voice held a hint of mystery but he didn’t elaborate. “But mostly no… I think leaving was the best decision I’ve ever made.” 

“Why did you come by train?” Brienne asked, suddenly realizing how strange it was. He only lived about 3 and a half hours Northeast - that wasn’t much of a drive. 

“I needed a part for my bike and they had to order it. Probably won’t be in until Monday,” he explained. “It was either the train or I had to rent something.” 

“Guess it was lucky for me you picked the train then,” Brienne replied, giving him a grateful smile. 

“Guess so,” he replied, looking at her as if he had more to say but was holding back. 

“Tell me about where you’ve been,” Brienne requested, enjoying the distraction of listening to him. If she had to keep asking questions she would, but she wasn’t ready for the conversation to end. “What’s it like in California? Texas? Have you been North? Nebraska? Montana?” It didn’t take a lot of encouragement to get him to talk, he was very willing. She wondered if it had to do with living a life of solitude, spending so much time alone on the road. 

Brienne lost all track of time listening to him talk and asking more questions. It wasn’t until the sun was about to make its first appearance that she finally yawned before asking one more question, “How come you’ve never settled down? Was there ever anyone… anyone you loved?” 

Jaime blushed instantly. She found it very endearing how he was shy about certain things even though for the most part he was pretty open and forward. “A long time ago,” he replied, looking at the ground. “But it wasn’t meant to be,” he finished sadly. The tone of his voice told her not to push for more details, it was clearly something painful for him that he didn’t want to get into. 

“Well, she must be a fool,” Brienne said, giving him a smile. 

“Ha,” he chuckled. “If you only knew.” What did that mean? Brienne wondered. “Look,” he said before she could think anymore. The sun rose above the horizon and they got their first glimpse of it’s rays. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. 

“I’ve never seen the sun rise before,” Brienne admitted. “I mean, I’ve been up before the sun but I’ve never actually sat out and watched it come up before, it’s breathtaking.” Jaime nodded. While she continued to watch she was sure she felt his eyes on her, but every time she turned to check he was looking away. 

Brienne yawned. The exhaustion was finally hitting her. “Come on, let’s get you home,” Jaime said, standing and offering her a hand. 

She took it and stood. “Are we gonna call a cab?” 

“Nope,” he grinned. “There should be a car waiting for me in the parking lot of the station.” She was so thankful she didn’t bother to ask how it had got there or who brought it. She just wanted to sleep. 

They gathered their things and headed to the car. As they approached Brienne’s house she stopped him. “Wait, slow down… I can’t go home,” she sighed, spotting the two vehicles in her driveway. She wanted to cry again. She was so tired and all she wanted to do was go inside, lock the world out, crawl into bed and sleep the day away, maybe even the next night. “I can’t face them.” Jaime might not have recognized Catelyn’s pick up, but there was no mistaking who the Sheriff's car belonged to. “God I’m so tired… I want to sleep so bad… what am I going to do?” she was on the verge of panic. 

“Relax,” he said, making a three point turn on the side of the road and speeding off in the opposite direction. “I know where we can go.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh so many of you are commenting!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!! You’re killing me - in a really good way :) 
> 
> I’m going to do my best to get a new chapter to you every day. Because I’m modifying an old fic it’s much quicker to get a new one ready. And since I feel guilty for not starting from scratch it makes my conscience feel a bit better to at least be able to not keep you waiting on the next chapter all the time. 
> 
> My favourite chapter is coming up soon so I’m excited to get there too lol. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the support! Hugs!!!

“Where are we?” Brienne asked, fighting back another yawn as they pulled up to a smaller bungalow house. 

“It’s not as nice as your place, but I know there’s a spare room where you can get some rest,” Jaime said, stopping beside a little sports car. “It’s Tyrion’s place. This is where I’m staying while I’m in town.” He took the keys out of the ignition. “Something you might not know about my brother… he’s a neat freak. The room… the whole house, it’ll be clean.” 

“T-Tyrion…” she stammered. “I don’t know if this is a good idea…” Tyrion Lannister didn’t have the best reputation. He was a drunk who frequented the strip clubs and escort services in the city. Brienne had only met him a couple of times and she knew he was a total pervert, but he was also very funny and had a charming side when he needed it. She knew he hated being pitied for his size so he made sure he was the life of the party. 

“Relax, he won’t mind if you stay. Hell, he probably won’t even know you’re there. By the time you wake up he’ll be gone out for the day,” Jaime said, reassuring her. She was too tired to protest so she followed him into the house. She was shocked by just how neat and tidy the place was - just as Jaime had said it would be. “Spare room is down here,” Jaime whispered, leading her to the last door on the right. “Bathroom is right across the hall if you need it,” he added. It was very early in the morning and clearly Tyrion was still sleeping. 

Brienne pushed open the door. The room was bigger than she was expecting, but probably looked bigger because the bed was only a twin. There was a day bed in the corner as well. “Wait,” she said, catching Jaime before he left. “Where will you sleep?” 

“Couch in the living room,” he replied. 

Brienne eyed the daybed again. “Oh…” She looked at him. “You could stay in here too,” she offered, gesturing inside. 

“Oh that’s ok…” Jaime started. 

“Please,” she interrupted him. “If you want to go later that’s fine, but will you at least stay until I fall asleep?” She was in a stranger’s house, a stranger that made her uneasy, and she just didn’t want to be alone while she was aware of it at least. 

He nodded. He clearly understood her apprehension and it was so nice to not have to explain herself further. “I’m gonna sleep a few hours and then go find Ned,” he said, setting his pack down on the floor. “I’ll make sure he knows you don’t want to see him and make sure no one is at your house. When I get back and you’re awake I’ll take you home, okay?” 

Brienne set her backpack beside his and nodded. She was so exhausted she had no doubt he would come and go without her even noticing. She quickly went across the hall to pee, avoiding looking at herself in the mirror because she knew it would be horrifying. They both settled into their beds and she was expecting to fall asleep right away, but she didn’t. “Jaime,” she said softly, hoping she wouldn’t wake him if he was already sleeping. 

“Yeah,” he grunted sleepily. 

She immediately felt guilty, but she had a couple of questions. “Was this… is this where you lived growing up? Is this your room?” Brienne had sensed something when they first went into the house, a hesitation of sorts from Jaime, as if he really had to force himself to step inside. He was familiar with the layout even though he hadn’t been back to town since he left all that time ago. She felt like she should have just known the answer. She knew where most everyone else lived. But no one ever visited the Lannister household before or after Tywin built his fortune and moved into a huge mansion somewhere on the south side. Brienne knew her parents would have forbidden her from going anyway if she wanted to. 

Jaime sighed. “Yep and yep.” 

Brienne smiled, proud of her detective skills. But then she thought about that moment at the front door and started to worry. “Are you okay? Being here?” 

“Not sure yet,” he admitted. “I’m too tired to decide.” 

“Okay, okay, got the hint,” she replied. “One more thing, the last thing, I swear…” Jaime groaned and she smiled again. “Promise me you’ll tell Ned he’s an asshole please?” 

“Already planned on it,” he mumbled. “Night… or morning or whatever,” he muttered. 

Brienne felt better but still she didn’t fall asleep right away. It was such a bizarre turn of events. She’d planned on being on her own, lost in the big city until she got her shit together and things at home blew over. But instead, she was with Jaime, sleeping in the room he’d lived in as a young child. Jaime. What strange sort of fate had brought them together? If his bike hadn’t broke down, or if the part had of been available he never would have been at the station. If she had of chose to drive or take the bus instead she wouldn’t have been at the train depot either. But they had both been there, late at night and he’d intercepted her from the plans she’d hastily made. Even more strangely… she’d trusted him right away. Jaime was Ned’s best friend - he was supposed to be on the other side, supporting Ned. But instead he was giving her a shoulder to cry on and someone to lean on when she was at her lowest. 

She gazed over at his sleeping form. Jaime had rolled and was facing her direction. His eyes were closed, obviously, and he had his hands tucked up under his head in a very childlike way. What an unlikely hero I’ve found, Brienne thought. Hero? Why had that word come to mind? She shook her head and chalked it up to being very, very tired. She closed her eyes and with one final yawn she was asleep. 

When she woke up more than 7 hours later Brienne was still groggy and very confused. It took a moment for her to remember where she was and everything that had happened, but it all came flooding back, slamming into her with such a force that she let out a sob. Ned. Catelyn. The wedding. The tears were falling fast before she even had a chance to try and stop them. Only moments after waking up she was curled in a ball in a strange bed with loud sobs wracking her body. 

The next thing she knew someone was there, comforting her. Her brain was too fuzzy to have any idea who it was before she was reaching blindly, desperate for someone to hold her. “Shhhh, it’s gonna be alright.” Jaime, she realized with a sense of relief, it was him. 

He held her and let her cry until she slowed and eventually stopped. Once the tears were over Brienne felt the embarrassment creeping in. She pushed away from him quickly. “God, I’m so sorry,” she said, ducking her face away. “I just woke up and remembered…” She struggled with the lump in her throat, not wanting to start over. “I hate crying. I hate it so much but it just fucking happens and I can’t make myself stop.” She pounded a fist into her pillow. 

“It’s okay,” Jaime stopped her. “I understand.” 

“Thank you,” she whispered. He nodded. “Oh god, I must look like a crazy person… my hair… I feel so gross,” Brienne sighed, attacking her head with her hands, trying to tame the mess. 

“Ya got a bit of a Bobo the clown thing going on,” he teased. “Big hair… red nose…” 

“Shut up,” she said, swatting him. But she was laughing and it felt good. 

“If you wanna get rid of your 80s hair you can go shower,” he offered. “There are towels in the hall closet. I picked up some food on the way back. I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.” Brienne hesitated. “Tyrion is gone already, it’s just us.” Jaime stood up and headed out. She started to feel like a fool for even worrying about Tyrion. He was Jaime’s brother and Jaime loved him. She trusted Jaime and knew he wouldn’t put her in any position that was at all dangerous. Besides, she had clearly misjudged the kind of man Jaime was - perhaps she was every bit as wrong about Tyrion too. 

Brienne had everything she needed in her backpack, shampoo and conditioner, a toothbrush, a change of clothes. She’d only taken a small bag, but she’d packed it with everything she needed to be away from home for a while. She got in the shower and she fully intended on getting out, doing her hair and getting herself all put together again. But once she was dressed in a comfy outfit she looked in the mirror. Her face was a bit puffy still and there were black circles under her eyes, but she lost the desire to put all the effort into fixing it. She deserved to look awful, much worse than she actually looked. With all the crying she’d done and the all nighter they’d pulled - she should have looked atrocious. But her eyes were still the same bright blue and her damp hair was already starting to curl nicely at the bottom . She still had the same perfect jawline that others would kill for and when she made a weak attempt at a smile - it was still a pretty smile. There was a time as an awkward adolescent she had seen herself as just as ugly as others said she was, but over time she had started to see the good things about herself too. 

So Brienne skipped the make up, which she did most of the time anyway, towel dried her hair, threw in a little gel to control the frizz and keep it out of her way, then packed up all her things. She headed out to the kitchen with her stomach rumbling. “What the heck?” she muttered when she saw the table, covered with food. There were several fast food bags, muffins, Salad, a fruit tray, veggie tray, loaf of bread, butter, sandwich meat, cheese… and the list went on. 

“I didn’t know what you would like,” Jaime said, before taking another bite of what looked like a Taco Bell soft taco supreme. He would have had to drive to the next town to find a Taco Bell, she realized. 

“I want one of those,” she blurted out. It had been so long since she’d allowed herself to eat junk. She had to make sure she would fit in the dress and even 5 pounds could mean alterations. But that didn’t matter anymore so Brienne wanted to eat. She took a seat and Jaime handed her a wrapped item from the Taco Bell bag with a grin. She unwrapped it quickly and took a huge bite. “Oh. My. God. This is delicious.” He didn’t reply, he just continued to eat his own food, while watching her with an amused look. “Stop it,” she said with a pout. “I haven’t ate one of these in like a freaking year.” She finished the last bite. “Uh, is there another one?” 

Jaime laughed. “Yup.” He handed it to her. She dug into the second taco. He waited until she was finished before he spoke again. “I didn’t tell Ned you stayed here.” She had actually forgot for a moment that he had gone to see Ned. “He wasn’t at your place, no one was, so I didn’t let on that you hadn’t gone back home.” 

“Probably a good idea,” Brienne nodded. She wasn’t sure how Ned would react to her staying with Jaime at Tyrion’s place, let alone what he would think of them sleeping in the same room. What the fuck does it matter what he thinks anymore? A voice spoke up, giving her something to ponder. 

“I let him know that you want your space and not to show up at your place,” Jaime continued. “Oh and I kept my promise,” he added, giving her a sly smile. 

“Yeah?” Brienne couldn’t help but smile back. She would have loved to see Jaime calling Ned an asshole on her behalf. “How’d he take that?” 

“He knew he deserved it,” Jaime replied. “I’ll likely remind him the next time I see him too.” 

They finished eating and he asked if she was ready to go home. As much as she’d wanted to be home that morning, in her own comfortable space, Brienne was surprised by her hesitation. But she didn’t let him see that. “Yep, all ready,” she announced. 

Jaime drove her home and walked her to the front door, stepping just inside the house. “If you need anything you can call my cell… give me yours, I’ll put my number in there for you.” 

Brienne pulled her cell out of her pocket and handed it to him. Once he entered his number and returned it she sent him a text. “Now you have mine too.” 

“Thanks,” he replied. “Well…see you… I guess…” 

Brienne really didn’t want him to go just yet but she knew he probably needed to get a little more sleep. “Uh Jaime… will you come back later… I can make you supper…” she said. She didn’t know why she was latching onto him so tightly, but she couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing him again later. 

“You don’t have to go to all that work…” he started. 

Terrified he was going to turn down her offer Brienne interrupted. “Please? I love cooking and it’s my favourite distraction technique. I get so focussed on what I’m doing I forget about all the bad stuff for a little while.” 

“Sure,” he agreed. “What time you want me back?” 

“How about 7?” Brienne said, looking at her watch. That would give her a few hours to make something wonderful instead of spending the rest of the afternoon and evening crying into a glass of wine or three. 

“You, uh…” Jaime was looking down and shuffling his feet nervously. It was so strange how he got that way every once in a while, yet was so calm and smooth the rest of the time “You want me to bring some wine, or coolers… vodka, beer, whiskey… shit, I don’t have a clue what you like to drink.” 

“Wine would be nice,” Brienne replied with a nod. She honestly hadn’t seen him quite this nervous in all the time they’d spent together and she had no idea where it was coming from. 

“Okay, so, um, I’ll see you at 7 then,” he stammered. He took a step forward like he was going to maybe hug her, but then stopped himself. 

Brienne noticed so she stepped forward and hugged him instead. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” she said softly into his ear. The last time they had seen each other she couldn’t have imagined finding it so easy to hug him like that. But she’d grown up a lot and found confidence in herself, which allowed her to be much more comfortable in relationships outside of her family, Ned and her closest friends. 

“It’s nothing,” Jaime shrugged as she released him. 

Brienne looked at him for a moment and then leaned in again and placed a light kiss on his cheek. He looked almost as shocked as she felt for doing it, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. “I think maybe…” she started, searching for his eyes. “I think maybe I was wrong about you.” With that she stepped back. “I prefer white,” she added. 

Jaime looked confused. “Huh?” 

“Wine. I’ll drink both, but I like white better,” she explained. 

“Oh right… wine, yeah. Okay,” he said, backing away towards the door. “Bye.” 

Brienne watched him leave and started to think about what she was doing. Even though her and Ned hadn’t lived together, they might as well have. They were always going back and forth between houses, and had been for years. She was extremely codependent. She’d always had him and now he was gone. She wondered if she was using Jaime as a temporary replacement to satisfy her codependent needs and she felt a pang of guilt. Oh well, he’s gonna get an amazing meal out of it, she thought with a smile, heading into the kitchen to get lost in her work.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jaime arrived at the door at 7:10 he was apologizing before she fully opened it. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I went to find this,” he held out a bottle to her. “And there was a fawn on the road that didn’t want to move, just a little guy, so I chased him to the ditch and waited a bit to make sure he wasn’t gonna come back out on the road.” 

“You’re late because you saved a baby deer?” Brienne asked, giving him a curious look. She actually hadn’t noticed he was late anyways because she was finishing their dessert, but she decided to tease him a bit. 

“Yessssss,” he said, drawing out the word hesitantly as if he wasn’t sure what the right answer was. 

“Aren’t you a hunter?” she continued. Brienne knew he likely was. Most of the boys she’d gone to school with hunted and many of the girls too. She’d even been out with her dad a few times when she was younger. 

“Yeah sometimes… I used to be I guess… but that’s different,” he protested. “Did you want me to leave him there to get smushed?”

He was getting really worked up so she finally cracked. “I’m teasing you. I don’t care that you hunt and I think it’s adorable that you stopped to help the fawn.” The relief on his face was so obvious she giggled again. “That was too easy.” 

“Ugh,” Jaime groaned. “I think I’m gonna need some of that wine.” Brienne knew Jaime was the player and he wasn’t used to getting played so it was quite satisfying that she got one up on him. 

“Come on, supper is ready and we’ll crack that bottle open.” Brienne check the label and almost gasped. “Holy shit… we can’t drink this. How much did you pay for it?” Jaime rolled his eyes, took it from her and started to open it. “Seriously, you didn’t have to spend that much,” she tried again. 

“You like this kind?” he asked. 

“Uh, yeah, it’s amazing,” Brienne gushed. She’d only had it once before but it was the most delicious wine she’d ever had. 

“Great. Then… cheers,” he said handing her the glass he’d just poured as he held up his own glass. 

“Cheers,” she replied, clinking his glass. The wine was every bit as good as she remembered it and as she brought the food to the table she hoped Jaime would enjoy her dinner as much as she was enjoying the drink he brought. Judging by the speed and quantity he consumed she was pretty sure he loved it. 

“That might have been the best thing I’ve ate in ye…no, probably ever,” he said. 

“I hope you saved room for dessert,” Brienne said, getting up to get it from the fridge. 

“I always have room for dessert,” he informed her. As Brienne ducked into the fridge she cooled her flushed cheeks. He hadn’t meant it to sound dirty, but it did to her. Or maybe he had? 

“Caramel Skor Cheesecake,” Brienne announced, setting it on the table. “It’s my specialty. Oh crap.. Do you even like cheesecake? I can make something else if you don’t.” She hadn’t even thought of having a backup plan in case. 

“Stahhhhp,” he drawled, in his relaxed and easy going tone. “I love cheesecake” He ate a huge piece and she knew he wasn’t lying. He could have got away with taking a much smaller piece. “Everything was amazing,” Jaime said, once they were both finished. 

There was a moment of silence. Brienne was worried he was going to leave so she suggested they have more wine. “How about we have another glass in the living room,” she said brightly. 

“Sure,” he agreed quickly. She poured more and put the bottle in the fridge, then led him to the living room. They sat at opposite ends of the couch. “So, um, I ran into an old friend today,” Jaime started. “He works for Bret Michaels… Well for the band Poison… and he gave me tickets for their show in Pittsburgh Saturday night…” Jaime paused and she watched him take a breath. “I was wondering if you might wanna go… ya know, take your mind off what day it is and stuff…” he stammered. “I mean, just an idea. If you want. Maybe you’ll be fine.” Shit, it was crazy, but cute how he went from smooth talking to clearly nervous like a switch was flipped. 

“Jaime,” she interrupted his second guessing. “I would really love to go.” Brienne wasn’t a huge classic rock fan, but she knew Bret was from the area and she loved quite a few Poison songs. It was always really cool to see a band play so close to home too. “I’m just a little worried what people are gonna say if they see us together…” Brienne added. She knew chances were slim since they were going to the city, but if someone did see them - news spread fast in their little town. 

“Oh, yeah, that’s true,” Jaime nodded. “That’s okay, you don’t have to go. I get it.” 

“Fuck them,” she said suddenly. “I don’t care what they think. I wanna go, so I’m gonna go.” 

“Are you sure?” Jaime asked, looking uncertain. 

“I’m sure,” Brienne assured him. “In fact, I hope Ned finds out and it makes him mad… Oh shit… I didn’t mean that,” she covered her mouth. How stupid can I be? She wondered. 

Jaime surprised her by smiling. “You want me to tell him we’re going?” 

“No, no, no,” Brienne shook her head with relief. She was so worried she might have offended him. Something came to mind and with the wine loosening her lips she just went ahead and asked. “Why are you taking my side? I mean, you seem like you are. Maybe you’re not taking a side, maybe you’re just being nice…” 

Jaime thought for a moment and then spoke in his low, soft voice, “I know what it’s like to feel alone.” That’s all he said, but it was enough. It was empathy and she was grateful. 

“I miss my mom and my dad, but especially my dad right now,” Brienne admitted, feeling tears sting her eyes. She had lost her mom when she was really young, just like Jaime. But her father was a wonderful man and he stepped up and played both roles, giving her a magical childhood. He’d never got over her mom though and the day he died of a heart attack he’d smiled at her through all his pain and said that his heart had finally broke and only being with her mom again could fix it. 

“I’m really sorry you lost them,” Jaime said. Ned would have told him what happened. Brienne had a hard time at first because she was angry that he seemed okay with leaving her behind, but there was something tragically romantic about the notion that he loved his wife so much he couldn’t bear to live without her. Selwyn had raised her right and he knew she was going to be okay before he left the world. That was what mattered most. 

Brienne had lived on her own ever since. Her father had been well off to begin with and his life insurance easily paid off the mortgage on the house. It was over 9 years since she’d lost him and Brienne had never gone onto to College or found a job. She didn’t need the money, so instead she volunteered her free time at the elementary school helping with athletics - they had a fencing program she loved - as well as working for a team that counselled at risk youth. She also helped at the hospital in the next town sometimes with whatever they needed her to do on any given day. She had always known that she would marry Ned one day anyway, and all she wanted was to be his wife and someone who helped and protected others. So much for half of that plan. 

They continued to talk for quite a while, finishing the bottle of wine that she retrieved from the kitchen. It was close to midnight when Jaime finally made an attempt to leave. “Well, it’s late - I probably should get outta here - let you sleep.” 

“You can’t drive,” Brienne said quickly. He was far from drunk, but she hoped with what happened to his dad that he wouldn’t risk it. “Shit, and I can’t drive you home either,” she added. She wasn’t quite drunk, but pretty damn close. “Just stay,” she said. “There are two spare rooms - you can take your pick.” 

“Oh, uh… I could call Tyrion…” Jaime said, clearly feeling awkward about staying. “Though he’s likely more drunk than I am…” 

“You helped me out last night when I needed a place to stay, let me return the favour,” she replied. Dammit, why am I being so clingy? Brienne wondered. She convinced herself that the only reason she was insisting he stay was because he couldn’t drive and it was too late to wake up someone to give him a ride. What about a cab? A voice spoke up… she ignored it. 

“Okay, I guess…” Jaime replied. “If you’re sure it’s no trouble…” Brienne shook her head. “I might have to leave before you’re awake…” he started. “Tyrion wanted to go for a long drive together - like we used to when shit got too much.” 

“No problem. Come, I’ll show you the spare rooms,” Brienne said, leading him upstairs. He said the first one was fine. “My room is at the end of the hall if you need anything.” They said goodnight and she went to her bedroom. She slipped on her favourite short silk nightie and climbed into bed. 

Once again she was expecting to fall asleep right away, but she tossed and turned for an hour, forcing herself to think about anything but Ned before she was finally too tired to fight off the thoughts. Brienne hadn’t shed a tear since she woke up at Tyrion’s and Jaime had come in to comfort her. He’d kept her distracted all day - even when he wasn’t there for several hours. Now, even though he was still on the premises… he couldn’t help her right then. 

The tears that came this time around were angry tears. The very nightie she was wearing was a birthday gift from Ned. “I don’t want anything from you,” she growled, tearing the silk material off over her head and throwing it on the floor. In only her panties she started digging through her drawers to find something else to wear, tossing other things Ned had bought her into the pile. Finally she found something to put on and got dressed, but by that point the angry tears were flowing freely and she was wide awake. 

Brienne scanned her room and saw Ned everywhere. She started running around like a mad woman, grabbing things and throwing them into the pile on the floor - various articles of clothing, a book he’d been reading, his stupid ugly slippers… and the list went on. She hadn’t realized just how loud she was being until there was a little rap on her door. “You okay?” came Jaime’s voice from the hallway. 

She sighed and walked over to the door, brushing away the tears. “I couldn’t sleep,” she spoke as she pulled the door open. “Oh…” Jaime was shirtless and she couldn’t help but let her eyes wander over his bare chest. She blushed when she realized he was wearing only boxers. Then she was reminded of just how little she was wearing herself and had to fight the urge to cover up, knowing it would just draw more attention to the tight tank top and short pajama shorts she was wearing. “I was throwing out Ned’s stuff,” she added, trying to distract herself from looking at his lovely shoulders and collarbones. 

Jaime peeked in and saw the pile on the floor. “Didn’t know Ned wears those kind of panties,” he commented. 

Despite everything she was feeling Brienne laughed. “I’m also throwing out everything he ever bought me.” She chewed her lip. “I’m a raging lunatic right now aren’t I?” 

“Kinda,” he nodded. “Want a hand?” 

“Yes,” she replied enthusiastically. She forgot that he had to be up early to go driving with Tyrion as she put him to work. Brienne dug a tote out of her closet and gave him the task of putting the stuff into the box as she kept adding to the pile. When he picked up a negligee and quickly added it to the box Brienne knew her face was every bit as red as his. She hadn’t really thought through her plan, even after he’d pointed out the panties earlier. 

“I think that’s it…” she said a few minutes later, scanning the room and the closet one more time. “Oh wait… one more thing…” she pulled a hoodie off a hanger. She couldn’t resist holding it to her chest on last time. “I stole this from him back in high school. I used to wear it to bed… made me feel close to him,” she said, thinking back to all those nights as a teenage girl in love with a boy, when wearing his shirt felt as good as hugging him. “I can’t believe I still have it,” she muttered, tossing it on top of the other things in the box. 

Jaime had a strange look on his face and he picked up the hoodie. “You had this?” He looked at her. “I just about killed Ned when he lost it… and it was you…” 

“Wh… what are you talking about?” Brienne asked. Was Jaime saying that the shirt she’d slept in so many nights wasn’t Ned’s but his? 

“He borrowed it… at a party one night. One of those big field parties…” Brienne nodded slowly. She’d taken it from Ned’s truck the day after a huge field party. It had smelled like him with a hint of campfire. He never knew she took it. “It was my favourite shirt and I was mad at him for weeks for losing it.” They both stared at the AC/DC logo on the front of the black hoodie. 

“Shit Jaime, I’m so sorry…” Brienne said, her heart hammering at the bizarre turn of events. 

“It’s okay,” he shrugged. “Glad it ended up in good hands.” He tucked it back in the box and put the lid on. “You okay now? I should try to get some sleep.” 

“Yeah… thank you… I’m fine,” Brienne got out, still stunned by what just happened. She watched him leave the room and shut the door behind him. Once he was gone she walked slowly to the box and lifted off the lid. With shaking hands she reached in and picked up the soft hooded sweatshirt. She lifted it to her face and inhaled. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she was completely delusional. But she was sure it smelled different than it had before. 

She put the lid back on the box and shoved it aside. Then she slipped on the hoodie, just like she used to do all those years ago. It was warm and comfortable, soft on her bare arms. In a moment of nostalgia she pulled up the hood, tucking in her hair and then climbed into bed. Brienne let the shirt hug her and with a content sigh she closed her eyes. This time… she fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

When Brienne woke the next morning, as expected, Jaime was already gone. She sat in her quiet kitchen with a cup of coffee while a battle raged in her mind. I am not going to cry today. Not one little bit. Why? It’s only been two days since he destroyed the plans you’ve had since you were 10. He doesn’t deserve your tears - don’t cry for him. But you’re not crying for him, you’re crying for you - don’t feel bad for letting out your emotions. “Ugh,” she growled out loud. She didn’t want to cry anymore, but she also didn’t want to beat herself up if it happened. The rational part of her brain made a compromise - if it happens, it happens, and it’s okay. 

Brienne decided it was time to go through the messages on her voicemail. Her inbox was full on her cell, and she expected it was the same on the land line too. She decided to start with the cell, while she continued to sip at her coffee. The first 3 were from Ned and she deleted them without listening any longer than to find out who it was. The next call was from Ned’s mom and Brienne listened to it, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. Mrs. Stark had always been like a second mother to her, especially in the last few years after Brienne lost her own dad and had no parents left. Brienne could tell from the message that she was genuinely sorry and sad with what had happened. She promised Brienne that she would always be there for her and said she could call or visit whenever she wanted to. 

As sweet as it was to hear from her it only made Brienne even more sad because it reminded her that she hadn’t just lost Ned, but the extended family that was supposed to be her in laws. Mrs. Stark finished the message by letting Brienne know that she was taking care of all the wedding cancellations for her. Brienne hadn’t even thought of that and made herself promise to call and thank her later on that day. 

She continued to wade through the messages. She immediately deleted the 2 from Catelyn, since the sound of her voice alone made her angry. There were very sweet messages from all three of her bridesmaids - Mel, Roz and Dalla. And there was even a message from one of Ned’s groomsmen - Robert. 

Once she’d finished listening to all the messages on both lines Brienne was feeling very emotional and extremely lonely. She knew in her heart that she could have called any one of those people who left her a message, including Ned and Catelyn, and they would have dropped everything to come and see her. But she didn’t want to see any of them just yet. They were all mutual friends - how was that going to work? She couldn’t think of a single person in her life that was friends with her and not Ned or Catelyn as well. 

It was so difficult to feel that lonely but not want to see anyone. Well, there was one person she wouldn’t mind seeing. It was both ironic and hypocritical how she felt about Jaime. As if the one person who had been her rock the last day and a half was Ned’s best friend. And as if the one person she wanted to see was him - when he was the closest person in the world to her ex. 

Brienne spent the rest of the morning and into the afternoon cleaning. She tore the house apart and cleaned everything - from scrubbing the baseboards on her hands and knees to taking out the window panes and wiping them down inside and out. When she was done she felt weak and dizzy, likely because she hadn’t eaten a thing all day. Brienne went to the fridge and reached for the cheesecake. She carried it to the counter but before she cut a piece she covered it again and put it back. If Jaime came by after the concert the next day maybe he would want a piece, she thought. Instead she made a half of a peanut butter sandwich to tide her over until she felt like making something better. 

As she was headed upstairs to have a shower she saw a box of books she’d forgot to put back. She went to pick it up and noticed her Yearbook from senior year on top. Brienne picked it up and sat down on the couch to flip through it. Everyone was there, smiling and happy - her, Ned, Catelyn, Jaime, Mel… they had all been friends for so many years. Before putting it away she flipped to the front and looked at the signatures. She scanned, looking for a particular one… and found it. 

Brienne ran her fingers over his words and it took her back to the day he’d wrote them. When yearbooks came out she and Ned were in the middle of breakup. It was the worst fight they had ever had and she’d been upset that entire week. At the time she was certain that Jaime had been trying to cheer her up with his words. It was the one time she’d actually seen more to him than the rough, bad boy exterior. Brienne read the words out loud, “Everything works out like it’s supposed to. Jaime Lannister.” Right after he’d signed those words she’d seen Ned out of the corner of her eye. In an attempt to make him jealous she’d leaned in and kissed Jaime full on the mouth, right there in front of her locker. It was the one and only time she’d kissed him… and until she pulled out the yearbook she had actually forgot it had happened. 

The very next day her and Ned had got back together and Brienne believed Jaime was right - everything worked out like it was supposed to. But what about now? This isn’t how it was supposed to be, is it? Brienne wondered. Her heart was so conflicted but once again she chose to believe the words he’d written all those years ago and once again without even being there it was Jaime who brought her comfort. 

Brienne allowed herself to smile as she touched the words one more time, then she closed the book, put it back in the box and put the box away. She went upstairs and got into the shower. While she washed she started to wonder if maybe the reason she was so drawn to Jaime was related to why she’d kissed him the last time she’d broken up with Ned and the thought made her feel sick. Am I trying to get close to Jaime and make Ned jealous, she wondered. She honestly wasn’t sure. There was just something that kept pulling her towards him. Something that kept bring him into her mind. Something that made him show up in some respect just when she needed him most. 

She refused to believe that she was doing something wrong. She was the one who’d been jilted, blindsided, her heart ripped out and her plans crushed. Brienne decided once again that her interest in Jaime was a result of feeling alone and there was nothing wrong with reaching out as long as he was willing. She vowed if she started to realize it was anything more ulterior she would pull away. Jaime was an amazing guy and she never wanted to hurt him after how kind he’d been to her. 

She got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed. Before she could take the towel off her head her doorbell rang. She seriously considered ignoring it but Brienne realized that eventually she would have to start facing people again. She ran downstairs and pulled the door open. “Jaime?” Her heart started to pound, but she didn’t know why. She blamed it on the exertion of running for the door. 

“Hey,” He said with a smile. “I didn’t mean to bother you, but when I took a shower this morning… I found this,” Jaime held out a bottle of shampoo. “You must have forgot it.” 

“Oh, thank you,” she said, reaching out to take it from him. 

“Oh and umm, what time should I pick you up tomorrow? The concert starts at 7…uh, unless you changed your mind,” he added quickly. 

“No, no, of course not,” Brienne shook her head. She didn’t admit it to him, but looking forward to the concert was a big part of why she’d made it through most of the day without crying. “Do you want… do you want to come in for a bit? And we can figure it out?” She asked. “Or maybe you have somewhere to be…” 

“Nah, I can come in for a bit, sure,” he agreed, following her inside. Brienne made coffee and they sat at the kitchen table. They quickly decided he would pick her up at 4:30 so they could stop somewhere on the way and have dinner. They chatted for a bit longer and there was a moment of quiet. “Is there anything I can do to help?” Jaime asked. “Like, wedding stuff…” His voice was hesitant but eager at the same time, like he actually wanted to help. “Sorry,” he added quickly. “I didn’t mean to make things awkward, just wanted you to know I’ll help if I can.” 

“Actually… Ned’s mom took care of everything,” Brienne admitted. “Which reminds me… I need to call her later,” she said out loud, hoping it would stick in her mind. 

“She’s amazing,” Jaime replied. “I gotta visit her before I go home.” 

“Home,” she repeated. “When… uh, when is that?” She felt a tightening in her chest at the thought of him leaving. It was inevitable of course, he had to go back home and get back to work eventually, but she wasn’t ready to think about him leaving. 

“My train leaves at 8:50 Sunday night,” he replied. “Got a 4 day run starting Monday, hopefully home late Thursday night.” 

“Oh,” she replied, nodding her head. Brienne didn’t know what else to say so she changed the subject. “You know what I’m most upset about?” she asked. “I mean, with respect to the wedding itself not happening.” He looked at her curiously. “My dress,” she replied with a pout. “I hate dresses. I always have. I didn’t want to go shopping for one at all, but when I tried this one on…” She sighed. “I love that dress so much and I was actually really excited to wear it, and for everyone to see it and…” She blushed a bit. “I actually liked the idea of feeling like a princess for one night,” Brienne sighed again. “And now I can’t even take it back because it’s been altered to fit me.” 

“So go put it on,” he replied with a little shrug. 

“What?” she looked at him. 

“Go put it on. Not everyone will get to see it, but at least one person will.” Jaime gave her a smile. “I know I’m not the one you wanted to impress, but I’m here - so impress me.” 

Brienne laughed. “Really? You really want to see it?” 

“I would love to,” he replied with a nod. 

“Yeah?” He nodded again. “Okay… meet me in the living room,” she said, feeling nervous and excited as she left the kitchen. Brienne went into her room and pulled the dress out of the closet. She unzipped the garment bag and got undressed. She wasn’t sure she was going to be able to get the zipper on her own, but with determination she somehow managed. She looked in the mirror and decided if she was gonna wear the damn dress she might as well put on everything that went with it. She added all the jewelry and then quickly put her hair up with a clip, letting a few wisps hang down. Lastly she put the veil in her hair, letting it fall down her back. When everything was complete she looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. Brienne spun around in the fancy dress… she felt so beautiful, truly like a princess. 

The second she stepped out into the hall in her little heels she got nervous. No one had seen her in the complete outfit and only Catelyn had seen the dress on her. Jaime was waiting downstairs… She felt like a teenager going to prom with her handsome date in the livingroom. This is stupid, she thought, almost turning around to go change. But something pushed her forward. He wanted to see her in the dress so she would show him the dress… then she would take the damn thing and donate it to the local thrift shop so some woman who was actually getting married could feel like a princess. 

Brienne took a deep breath and carefully made her way down the stairs, holding the dress off the floor with one hand and the railing with the other. She walked towards the living room and as she entered Jaime turned. “Voila,” she said with a flourish of her hands. 

He stared at her for a long time, his eyes travelling her body from head to toe. “Wow,” he said finally. “You… look… incredible.” Brienne blushed at the compliment, but slowly spun in a circle, turning her head as she did to keep eye contact with him. Jaime was transfixed, dazzled even and it was so flattering it made her want to cry - happy tears for a change. 

Suddenly he reached for something in his pocket. Jaime pulled out his cell and tapped the screen a couple times. It started to play a song. He turned it up, set it down on the coffee table and then walked over and held out a hand to her. “You should get the chance to dance in that dress,” he said. 

Her heart started to beat wildly and the second she place her hand in his Brienne felt a light tremor run through her body, like an electric current that left goosebumps tingling on her skin. Jaime slipped an arm around her waist and drew her to him. He tucked their hands in close to their bodies and she gently placed her other hand on his shoulder, letting her arm rest lightly on his chest. Brienne was shocked by how easily they had come together and how comfortable it felt in his arms. The song that he’d put on was Perfect by Ed Sheeran. How had he known it was one of her very favourite songs? There were songs out there that you listened to and they just took you away so you almost felt like you were living the song and Perfect was always one of those songs for her. It told a story of a couple in love, dancing together and how he was so mesmerized by how amazing she looked while thinking about their future and their past. 

Brienne closed her eyes and leaned her cheek close to his, relaxing and letting him lead. Jaime moved slowly, keeping in time with the music. She was very impressed with how well he danced - it felt so natural. Ned wasn’t a bad dancer, but he didn’t enjoy it and she could feel it when they were on the dance floor. She didn’t feel that at all with Jaime. It felt like there was no where else he would rather be in that moment than dancing with her. 

As they moved the scruff on his face brushed her jawline every once in awhile and it sent a tingling down her spine. There was a tiny voice in her head telling her this was wrong and she should push him away, but she quickly squashed it. She deserved to have this little moment in a wedding dress she wasn’t going to get to wear. So Brienne enjoyed it. She let herself melt against him, feeling the heat from his body warming her to the core. She smiled wistfully when she felt his heart pounding, just like her own was. 

As the song started to come to an end Brienne listened to the last few lines: 

_I have faith in what I see  
Now I know I have met an angel in person  
And she looks perfect  
I don't deserve this  
You look perfect tonight_

She lifted her head to look at him as the song ended. Jaime was staring back at her with a look that made her heart skip a beat. His eyes dropped to her lips and she held her breath. Was he going to kiss her? Did she want him to kiss her? Brienne was feeling very conflicted, but if she was honest the answer was yes… she wanted it - badly. 

He inched forward and their lips were so close she could feel the warmth of his breath. Brienne closed her eyes and waited, the anticipation was making her body hum in a way she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Their lips touched, just barely, nothing more than a graze… and the doorbell rang. “Fuck,” he muttered, pulling back and looking at her in shock. “I’m sorry,” Jaime added quickly. For what? Why was he apologizing? 

Brienne felt panicked, wondering who was at the door and Jaime looked almost as panicked himself. He took a few steps towards the foyer until he could see out the glass panes on both sides of the front door. “Uh…” he sighed, turning back to face her. “It’s Catelyn.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost posted this last night because I have a super busy day today but I fell asleep lol 
> 
> I hope you guys know how much I treasure reading your comments! They give me life and make me smile so much! I’m sorry for the cliffhangers but this one is filled with them lol. This chapter is fine though. It’s a little slower than the others so far.
> 
> And as for the slow burn, don’t worry, that goes on a while longer but it’s so super sweet where Braime are concerned that I don’t think most will mind

“I don’t want to see her,” Brienne hissed. “Make her go away, I don’t want to talk to her.” Before Jaime could head to the door she changed her mind. “No, wait, maybe I do… maybe I want to tell her just what I think of her right now,” she was getting all fired up. “And maybe I want to punch her... right in the tit.”

Brienne started to stomp off towards the door when she felt an arm around her waist. “Hold up there Tyson,” Jaime said, stopping her. “You’re cute when you’re mad,” he added. As much as she didn’t want to smile she couldn’t help it. “Go. Wait in the livingroom out of sight and I’ll get rid of her.” 

“But I wanna…” she started.

“No,” Jaime interrupted. “You don’t.” 

She pouted and glared at him, but she knew he was right. “Oh fine. Get rid of her. Tell her to stay away. When I’m ready to see her I’ll call.” She wandered back into the living room to wait. 

A few minutes later he came back. “She said to tell you she loves you and she’s sorry, but she won’t bother you again until you’re ready to talk.”

“What a fucking saint,” Brienne muttered. She was still fuming when she looked up and saw Jaime smiling at her. “What? Stopppppp,” she said, once again trying not to smile back and failing miserably. “Why are you so good for me right now?” she asked with a sigh of confusion. 

Jaime shrugged. “I haven’t been around. I’m a stranger to you and most of this town anymore.” He touched the stubble on his chin. “Guess it’s just easier to be around someone who isn’t part of the rumour mill.” 

“Yet,” Brienne sighed again. 

“What does that mean?” he asked curiously. 

“You think Catelyn isn’t going to tell people you were here today?” she replied. “She’ll tell Ned for sure, probably Mel, her parents… soon the entire town will know and they will probably twist it into a juicy story about how we’re having a torrid love affair just two days after I cancelled my wedding to Ned.” 

“Do you care?” he asked softly. 

“Nah,” Brienne shook her head. “We know the truth. And even if it was true - what Ned and Cat did was worse anyway.” 

“Yeah but…” he looked at her, cheeks flushed. “Do ya care… that it’s me?” 

It took her a second to realize what he meant. “10 years ago I might have,” she replied honestly. “But I don’t now. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, a perfect gentleman,” she smiled at him and he actually blushed harder. Jaime. Blushing. It was so bizarre. “Who you were back then doesn’t matter anymore, we’re adults now. And as an adult, I can hang around with whoever I want.” 

Before Jaime could respond his phone buzzed where it was sitting on the coffee table. And before he could get to it, it buzzed again. “Holy fuck,” he muttered, when it buzzed a third time as he picked it up. 

“Everything okay?” Brienne asked.

“Yeah, it's just Tyrion,” he replied as he read the texts. “I promised him I would help with a couple repairs today and apparently he's ready now, when it’s practically sunset. Not a minute to waste,” he rolled his eyes. “You’d think he might want to spend some quality time with his big brother while I'm home, but his idea of fun is slave labour. Since I’m so much taller.” Jaime rolled his eyes one more time. 

Brienne chuckled. “I'm okay, you can go.”

Jaime shook his head while he replied to the text and then looked up at her. “I’m not leaving until you change.” He grinned. “Don't want to hear no stories of some crazy lady in a wedding dress running around town punching people in the boobies.” 

“Very funny,” she said, glaring at him but with no menace behind it. “I’ll be quick.” Brienne quickly changed, redressed, hung up the dress again and headed back downstairs. “Okay, you’re free to go,” she announced. 

“Okay,” he nodded. But Jaime hesitated. “You know you can call if ya need anything, right? I really mean that, I’m not just saying it. Anytime.” 

“I do,” she replied. Brienne bit her lip and studied him for a moment. “Thank you for today… telling me to wear the dress… dancing… making me feel beautiful…”

“You are beautiful,” Jaime said softly and she could see in his eyes he meant it. She couldn’t resist stepping forward to hug him. Brienne noticed again how nicely she fit into his embrace. Why was she paying attention to all these things? He hugged her back and he made no move to pull away until they both heard his phone buzz in his pocket. “I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Jaime growled. 

Brienne laughed. “It’s okay, go. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m really excited.” 

“Me too.” Jaime headed for the door and looked back with a wave. “Night.” 

She watched him leave, immediately struck by the quiet once again. Is it really night time already? She peeked out the window and saw the sun was setting. Her stomach growled reminding her she hadn’t eaten anything but that half sandwich earlier. She grabbed the phone and ordered a small pizza. 

She then decided it was time to give Ned’s mom a call. Brienne almost hung up when it rang the first time, but by the time she was done with the phone call she was really glad she didn’t. They talked and cried together for close to 20 minutes. Mrs. Stark made Brienne promise she would come for a visit as soon as she was feeling up to it. She promised that no matter what happened in the future that she would always think of Brienne as her daughter and Bri believed it. It didn’t mean things wouldn’t be awkward though and she knew she would have to get over a lot of things before she could truly have a relationship with Ned’s mom like she used to. 

After hanging up she only had to wait another 5 minutes for her pizza. The doorbell rang and she grabbed cash and ran to answer it. “Podrick, oh my gosh,” she said in surprise. Not that she should have been surprised, she knew he worked for the company and delivered pizza, but for some reason she hadn’t even considered that he would be bringing her order. 

“Hey beautiful,” he said sweetly. Pod was a such a kind young man. “This one is on me… and I put in a couple of the dips you love for the crust. You forgot to order them.” 

“I did, thank you,” she gushed. “But you don’t have to pay for me…” Brienne tried to hand him the money. 

“Nope, I want to,” he insisted. “You can take me out for a beer sometime, when you’re feeling up to it.” 

Brienne leaned in and kissed his cheek. “It’s a deal. And send Marge my love please?”

“You got it,” Podrick nodded. “Hey Bri… I’m really sorry,” he added. “You’re amazing and if there’s anything you need, Marge and I will be there for you.” 

“I know you will,” she said, leaning in and giving him another kiss on the cheek. “Thanks again.” They said their goodbyes and Pod left. Brienne took her pizza into the kitchen and went to set it on the table when she saw an envelope sitting there. The front read: Only open when you’re sad and need to smile. She picked it up and it took everything she had to not tear it open right then. 

Brienne set it back down and dug into the pizza, but with every chew she glared at the envelope wondering what was in it and dying to know. How could he do that? Doesn’t he know that women are curious? She pouted. And now I’m hoping to be sad so I can open the damn thing guilt free. 

As Brienne dug into the second slice she changed her thoughts and appreciated how damn sweet and thoughtful it was of Jaime to even leave the envelope in the first place. She couldn’t help but compare him to Ned even though it wasn’t really fair to either one of them. She really didn’t care about being fair to Ned right then anyway, so she decided that the asshole would never have been so thoughtful. 

Brienne kept eating until she was stuffed and half the pizza was gone. She wrapped up the rest and put it away and decided to just call it a night. Maybe they would be out late at the concert and a good night’s rest would be helpful. She was feeling really good as she carried the envelope up to her room and set it beside her bed. 

She changed into her pajamas but before getting in bed Brienne went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. As she reached for her toothbrush she noticed Ned’s was in the holder too. With a growl she grabbed it and threw it into the garbage can. Brienne picked up the toothpaste - cinnamon flavoured because Ned didn’t like mint. “Fuck him,” she hissed, throwing the toothpaste into the garbage too. She never had liked stupid cinnamon toothpaste anyway. She started to rustle through the drawers, looking for the tube of Freshmint Crest she knew was in there somewhere. She came upon Ned’s razor and pitched it into the trash. Extra blades and shaving cream, wham, she forcefully threw them out too. 

Brienne found the toothpaste, but not before she threw out at least 5 more things. There’s so much more drawer space now, she thought, looking into the half empty drawer. She stared… it was only her things left. Only her. And that’s when the tears she’d held back all day started. Other than the crying on the phone with Ned’s mom she’d been proud of herself for making it through the day without a breakdown. But now it was night and night was always more lonely. Lonely like the half empty drawer. Lonely like the half empty bed she was going to climb into. Lonely like the half empty house. 

She didn’t want to miss Ned. She wanted to hate him. But she couldn’t help but wish he was waiting in her bed to pull her close and keep her warm, or to kiss her and… Brienne cut off her train of thought - nope that’s never happening again. Ned was a good lover, at least as far as she knew… she really didn’t have anything to compare him to. 

As Brienne wandered back into her room her thoughts changed once again. She swiped away the tears as images of Ned faded and were replaced with Jaime. She had come so close to kissing him earlier, so close to finding out what it was like to passionately kiss another man. Not just any other man, but Jaime. She’d known him as long as she’d known Ned and all her other friends. They’d grown up together and he was practically a brother to Ned. But that didn’t matter anymore. They were adults now, not kids. Yes, Jaime had definitely come back a man, no longer the boy she remembered. He had always had those wide shoulders, but never the muscular biceps and full body to go with them. 

Brienne turned out the light and slipped into bed. With the lights out, tucked under her covers her mind wandered even further down the dirty little path it was on. Not only was she wondering what it would be like to kiss Jaime, but… how would it feel… for him to… touch her… those strong hands on her breasts… her ass… his fingers rubbing her… Brienne’s eyes flew open. Her heart was beating faster and she was shocked by just how turned on she was feeling thinking about him. 

She turned on the light again and grabbed the book she was reading. It was a murder mystery - nothing romantic. Perfect. It took two full chapters before she was finally back to normal. She read a third chapter just to be safe and then put the book down. She noticed the envelope as she did. She wasn’t supposed to open it unless she was sad and needed to smile. Did it count that she was sad because she was missing Jaime? It probably wasn’t what he meant at all, but it didn’t matter. She was sad and lonely and she wished he was there with her. That was enough. 

Smiling before she had even opened the envelope Brienne tore into it. There was a folded up piece of paper that looked really old. Slowly she opened it, careful not to rip it where the folds were. “Oh my God,” she whispered as she read it: Thank you for asking me to the dance Jaime. But I have to say no because Ned asked me first and I’m going to go with him. I’m sorry. I hope you won’t be mad at me. Are you mad at me? Check yes or no. Love Brienne. 

Below the words yes and no there were little boxes. In the box for “no” there was a big checkmark. It looked like it was more recent, as there was no fading. Had he just answered a letter she wrote him when they were 10 years old? How did he even still have the thing. Brienne felt a tingling inside her that she didn’t understand, but it felt good. Everything about being around Jaime felt good. 

She looked at the letter and Brienne could remember the entire scenario. When they graduated from 5th grade, before they moved to the middle school, they held a little prom. Sometimes the boys would ask girls to go as their dates, just like they did in high school. Ned had asked Brienne and the very next day Jaime asked her. She was too shy to say no to his face so instead she wrote him the note. He never answered her and she always assumed he was mad that she turned him down. 

But that little primary school prom was what started her infatuation with Ned. He was so sweet that night, giving her a corsage and treating it like a real big kid date. It was then that she decided she was going to grow up and be his wife. One night had shaped her entire future. 

Brienne read the letter again and traced the check mark with her finger. No, he wasn’t mad at her. But what if things had gone differently? What if Jaime had asked her first and it was Ned she’d said no to? Where would they be now? Would she still have fallen for Ned eventually? Or would Jaime have been the one who treated her like a princess for the first time in her life? Would it have been Jaime who she fell in love with when she was a child? 

She kept coming back to one thing as she drifted off, still holding the letter. Why did Jaime still have it almost 20 years later?


	8. Chapter 8

Somehow Brienne managed to keep herself busy for most of the day. When she went out into the garage that she rarely used to look for a small purse she came up with an idea. It was 2 hours before Jaime was supposed to pick her up, but she texted him and asked him if he could come early, as soon as possible. 

When he arrived she led him to the garage. “About 6 months before my dad passed away he bought this,” she said, pulling the cover off of a shiny Harley Davidson bike. “I teased him, so bad,” she said, trying not to tear up thinking of her father. “Said he must be going through a midlife crisis or something…” She looked over and saw Jaime was practically salivating looking at the bike. “Anyway, it’s been sitting here since he died and I know you ride, so I thought maybe tonight… we could take this to the concert?” He looked shocked. “Oh… maybe you don’t like this kind? If you don’t want to… it’s okay…” 

“Are you kidding me?” Jaime gasped. “This bike… it’s incredible. It looks brand new…” he wandered around the bike, looking it over. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to drive it?” 

Brienne smiled. He looked like a kid at Christmas and it made her feel so good to be able to make him happy after all he’d done for her. “It’s just been sitting there for years. Daddy wanted to teach me to drive it, but then he got sick and… you know…” She forced the smile back on her face. “He would be happy to know someone was using it. He wasn’t a biker for long, but he really developed a passion for it.” 

Jaime gave her one of his shy smiles, “I would be honored to drive it, especially with you on the back.” 

“So, listen, I’m gonna be a while getting ready,” Brienne said. She still had to shower, decide what to wear, and do her hair and maybe some makeup. “Why don’t you take it for a spin, make sure it’s running okay and gassed up,” she suggested. He nodded eagerly. “Dad’s helmet is there,” she said, pointing. “Should fit you.” He was already dusting things off with a rag he’d found and Brienne realized just how much care he would put into the bike. She felt confident and comfortable about her plan - she trusted him and knew he would keep her and the bike safe. 

With a little laugh at how cute he was she backed away and headed inside to get ready. Once she was showered Brienne dressed in a tight pair of jeans with knee high black boots. She put on a silky flowered top and then did her hair and makeup. The final part of her outfit was the last thing her daddy had bought her - a black leather Harley jacket. With one final look in the mirror she checked the time. Jaime would have been picking her up in 5 minutes - perfect timing. 

She walked down the stairs and outside. When Jaime saw her he stood, whacking his head on the handlebar. “Ouch,” he moaned. 

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Brienne gushed, rushing over to him. 

“I’m fine,” he replied, rubbing his head. “Your outfit might cause traffic accidents on the way though,” he added, looking up and down her body. 

“Stoppppppp,” Brienne said, blushing a bit. 

“But maybe I just have a thing for leather,” he added, teasing her a little more. He was totally flirting with her and she loved it. When pretty much everyone knows you’re in a committed relationship you don’t get flirted with much at all, not that she was really that type of girl that gets flirted with anyway. Men tend to be intimidated by her size. She couldn’t even remember the last time a man other than Ned openly looked at her the way Jaime was right then. She also couldn’t remember a time she wanted a man other than Ned to look at her like that. It felt good. Exciting. Different. It’s going to be a great night, Brienne decided. 

“So, it’s running okay?” She asked, reluctantly opting to change the topic. 

“I did a little tweaking here and there… and I would love to do a full tune up, but she’s perfect for tonight,” Jaime said. “You ready to head out?” 

“Yep,” Brienne nodded. She grabbed her helmet, put it on and climbed onto the bike behind Jaime, who was waiting for her with the engine running. She had been on the bike a few times with her dad, hugging him tightly with the wind in her face, but it had been a long time and she was nervous. 

Jaime must have sensed her tension because he turned to talk to her before he took off. “Relax, I got ya,” he said. She nodded and took a deep breath. He started off slowly but when he hit the main road Jaime sped up. She clung to him nervously until she felt him place his hand over hers for a moment, holding it gently. His hand was warm and it instantly made her feel comfortable. She finally relaxed and when he released her to put his hand back on the handlebars she was just fine. Without the stress and tension she became more aware of her surroundings. The wind whipping over their bodies, and… Jaime’s solid form in her arms. Her hands were resting on his tummy and she had to resist the urge to move her fingers and get better acquainted with his body. 

They stopped for a quick dinner at a little restaurant outside the city. Jaime was very sweet, he held the door and pushed in her chair and even paid for dinner, like they were on a real date. Wait, Brienne thought as they were back on the bike, riding into the city, is this a date? Does he think it is? Nah, he’s just being a gentleman she decided. He’s being a good friend, trying to cheer her up - that’s all. There’s no way he could feel anything more for her, right? A little memory popped up in her mind, along with the feel of his lips as they just barely touched hers. Once again, Brienne chalked that up to getting caught up in the moment. 

What did all of it matter anyway? She thought, with a touch of bitterness. He was going home the next evening and she would very likely never see him again. Might as well enjoy this night and the memories they would make, she decided. 

They got in the long line of fans and headed into the venue. “Let’s check out our seats first,” Brienne said excitedly, knowing they likely had pretty darn good seats. The further they got down the aisle, closer and closer to the stage, the more excited she got. But all of a sudden she saw something that made her blood run cold. “Jaime,” she hissed, grabbing his arm to stop him. “Look…” She subtly directed his attention to the left, about 4 rows from the stage. 

He looked at the tickets. “You gotta be fucking kidding me,” Jaime snapped. “I should have know… these tickets are from a mutual friend. Fuck, Bri, I’m so sorry.” 

“Why do they have to ruin everything?” she pouted, glaring at the backs of Ned and Catelyn. “And as if they are out on a stupid date already.” Her blood was no longer cold, now it was boiling with rage. 

“Hey,” Jaime said softly, taking her hand. “Don’t let them ruin our night.” 

“Well I sure as hell won’t be sitting beside them,” Brienne growled. 

“Oh fuck that,” Jaime replied, giving her a tug. “We’re getting out of here. I have an idea of what we can do tonight instead.” 

Brienne was impressed by the fact he already had a backup plan and it eased the sting of having to leave when she’d been looking forward to the concert. “Where are we going?” she asked him as they got back on the bike yet again.

“It’s a surprise,” he said, shooting her a grin. 

It would still be a few hours before the sun would go down so Brienne enjoyed the scenery as they left the city behind them and slowly moved into a more rural area. Finally Jaime pulled over on a deserted stretch of straight road. He killed the engine and got off the bike. “Okay, switch spots,” he announced. 

“Say what?” She gaped at him. 

“What? Don’t you want to learn to drive?” he asked with that same sexy grin. 

“Right now? Here?” she asked, stunned. 

“Yup. This is the perfect spot,” he replied. Hesitantly she started to slide forward to where Jaime had been sitting. It felt strange to be in his spot, with the handlebars and all the bells and whistles right there in her reach. She felt him move in behind her. “I’m gonna teach you how to start it up, shift, accelerate, brake and then we will give it a try. You don’t have to be scared. I’m right here and I can reach around you if anything goes wrong, okay?” His voice was soothing and reassuring. 

Slowly he talked her through everything, having her try each until she was comfortable before they moved on. Jaime was a slow and patient teacher, which she knew came from his passion for riding. Finally, after a long and thorough lesson, it was time to actually put everything into motion. “Deep breath, stay relaxed… you can do this,” he said into her ear. Brienne started the bike, put it into gear and slowly they started to move. Holy crap, I’m driving a motorcycle, she thought, swelling with pride and excitement. They weren’t going very fast but as soon as she was completely comfortable she shifted and started to go a little faster. She was so focused initially on everything she was doing to get the bike going that she hadn’t noticed the feel of Jaime behind her and the way he was lightly holding her around the waist with one arm. It made her feel safe and secure and gave her the confidence she needed to go a little faster, finally up to the speed limit. 

Brienne was sure she had never felt more happy and free than she did in that moment. When they got to the end of the straight stretch she reluctantly downshifted and slowed to a stop. “Oh my god, that was amazing,” she gushed, once she cut the engine. It was getting close to sunset by that time, probably about half an hour before dark. 

“It’s getting late, be dark soon…” he started. “But… it’s all backroads from here… so… you wanna drive her home?” 

“Seriously?” Brienne asked, feeling butterflies at the thought. 

“You’re doing amazing and you learn quick,” he complimented her. “I know you’ll be fine.” 

“Okay,” she nodded eagerly. Brienne started the bike back up and away they went. By the time she pulled into the driveway at her house she’d been in the driver’s seat of the bike for over 2 hours but it felt like barely 5 minutes. She was on a crazy high and it felt so good. 

Jaime put the bike back in the garage and then followed her inside from the garage door. “This was the best night ever,” she gushed excitedly. In a flourish of emotion she threw her arms around his neck and hugged Jaime tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said, before kissing him on the cheek. 

He froze and so did she, her arms still around his neck. Then suddenly he turned his head and kissed her, full on the lips. Jaime reached his arms around her body and pulled her tightly to him. Brienne didn’t resist, not for one second, she simply kissed him back, just as eagerly. There was no tongue, nothing over sexual or overly passionate, but it was far from a friendly kiss. It was soft and sensual, yet eager and enticing. 

Brienne could feel things… incredible things… things she probably shouldn’t have been feeling, but things she didn’t want to stop feeling. And then they did stop because he kissed her tenderly one last time and released her gently. That’s when the flood of emotions hit her like a train. 

When Jaime pulled back she looked at him, her eyes wide with shock. Memories were rushing back from her childhood. Things she must have buried. Stolen glances. Shy smiles. The sound of his voice. And that kiss… that day she kissed him - there was something she’d tucked away in the back of her mind and she hadn’t felt it again until that exact moment. That tingle that ran down her spine. The fluttering of her heart. And that indescribable spark. What was going on? What did it all mean? Whether it was shock, fear, or just plain stupidity the only thing Brienne could think to do was run… 

 

**NED - NED - NED - NED - NED - NED**

 

“We had a request for a dedication,” Bret Michaels said into the Mic. It was late, nearing the end of the show. “We used to do this cover of my favourite GNR song all the time, tonight we’re dusting it off for a friend. So Miss Brienne, if you’re out there… this one is for you...” As the music started Ned looked over at Catelyn and they both gazed at the two empty seats beside them. As he listened to the song he knew without a doubt who was supposed to be for. 

_Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you  
I'm still alright to smile_

_Girl, I think about you every day now_

_Was a time when I wasn't sure  
But you set my mind at ease_

_There is no doubt you're in my heart now_

_Said woman take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine_

_All we need is just a little patience_

_Said sugar make it slow and we'll come together fine_

_All we need is just a little patience_

_I sit here on the stairs 'Cause I'd rather be alone_

_If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear_

_Sometimes I get so tense but I can't speed up the time_

_But you know love there's one more thing to consider_

_Said woman take it slow and things will be just fine_

_You and I'll just use a little patience_

_Said sugar take the time 'cause the lights are shining bright_

_You and I've got what it takes to make it_

_We won't fake it, I'll never break it_

_'Cause I can't take it_

_Little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah  
Need a little patience, yeah  
Just a little patience, yeah_


	9. Chapter 9

Up the stairs, into her room, door shut… and the pacing begins. Brienne wandered back and forth, her mind swirling with so many thoughts it was impossible to focus on any one of them. Within a matter of seconds she completely forgot that she left Jaime standing downstairs. Her memory wasn’t triggered until she heard a car and looked out the window to see him leaving. 

“Fuck,” she hissed. “What have I done?” She ran out into the hall, about to bolt for the front door to stop him, but when she got to the bottom of the stairs she stopped. It was too late to catch him anyway, the car would be long gone. But more importantly… she had way too much to sort out in her mind before she could face him. 

Water. Brienne needed a drink of water. Her throat was dry and felt like it was closing up. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and when she turned she saw his note on the counter. With a shaky hand she picked it up, unsure of what to expect. Yet again, in the midst of her freaking out he made her smile. _Brienne, I had a great night, thank you. I’m sorry if I upset you. Sweet Dreams. Maybe I’ll see you again someday. Jaime. PS: Are you mad at me? Check Yes or No._

She lifted the letter to her chest and hugged it. Jaime. What was it about him that made her so happy and so confused at the same time? The thoughts started swirling again… images of the most recent kiss and the kiss all those years ago… his voice as a kid, why could she still remember it so clearly? And his adult voice, deep and husky when he spoke low, a growl when he was angry. The latest note reminded her of the letter from their childhood and the fact that he’d kept it all these years. Why? She’d had the chance to ask him, all day she could have asked, but she didn’t. She hadn’t even brought it up because she wasn’t ready to think about the implications. And she still wasn’t ready to think about them. 

Brienne marched back upstairs, went into the bathroom, took a full dose of Nyquil and barely got her clothes changed before she was feeling dozy. She knew without drugs there was no way she was shutting off her mind and getting sleep. This way - she didn’t have to think anymore. 

When she finally woke up the next day Brienne looked at the clock and gasped. It was already past noon. She had slept for more than 12 hours. Her mind was fuzzy at first, but it soon cleared and the events of the night before returned. Before she got too deep into her mind she got out of bed, put on her robe and slippers and went downstairs to make coffee. 

When she sat down with a steaming mug she tried to find the right place to begin sorting through her thoughts. How bizarre was this turn of events? She should have been fuming over Ned still, not confused about another man. And she should have been on the phone with Catelyn talking this out with her best friend. But that wasn’t going to happen, nope, this time she was on her own. Roz or Mel would have listened, but if Brienne was being honest with herself… this was one she needed to figure out alone. 

She decided the best place to start was exactly where the real confusion had begun. When Jaime kissed her earlier it took her back to exactly how she’d felt when she kissed him in high school. But until that moment she hadn’t remembered it feeling that way. She’d been in love with Ned, yet there was a spark with Jaime that she must have buried deep. Now it was coming back and she could remember stealing glances at Jaime, thinking about him in ways that she felt were very, very wrong. She’d wanted to kiss him again. But instead she forced herself to focus on Ned and the future she’d dreamed about for so long. 

How could she have forgot those feelings? It scared her, wondering if there were other things she’d locked away in her mind that could come back at any time. But it was also exciting. She had believed for so long that Ned was the only one… her true love, her soul mate… which was why it was so devastating that he’d left her when they were so close to fulfilling everything she’d dreamed of. Now she realized that other men could make her feel things, special tingly things… things she wasn’t even sure she’d ever felt with Ned in all the years they were together. 

It wasn’t just any man though… it was Jaime. She’d only felt that buzz inside her twice - the two times she’d kissed him. Brienne knew there was only one conclusion to draw - she was physically attracted to Jaime Lannister. But there was still so much more to sort out. Was it just because he was around and available and treating her so kind? Was it something she’d felt for far longer than she realized? She hadn’t seen the man for well over a decade, yet somehow he’d found her in a moment of need… was that it? Was she attracted to him because he’d been her hero? 

The thoughts continued. Two cups, three cups, four cups of coffee later Brienne hadn’t really gotten anywhere. But the time sure had flown by. 2 hours she’d been sitting there, drinking coffee, lost in a maze in her own mind. She decided to take a break from the mental olympics and go shower and get dressed. 

Another hour and a half later she was sitting back at the kitchen table once again, this time with a big plate of food in front of her. She was showered, dressed… and ready to face the day… kinda. Facing the day currently meant hiding out in her house so she didn’t have to face the world. Just a few more days and I’ll get back to normal, Brienne told herself. She had booked off time for the wedding and honeymoon so she wasn’t missing out on her volunteer jobs. It’s not like she couldn’t take time off whenever she wanted since she wasn’t on the payroll or anything. But she had committed to the positions and Brienne took commitment seriously. 

By 5:30 she was finished eating and had her dishes cleaned up. Jaime’s note caught her attention again. She picked it up and read it, even though she’d memorized it. She was stuck on one part: Maybe I’ll see you again someday. Someday. She didn’t like the sound of that. Someday could be another decade and Brienne didn’t think she could bare not seeing him again - soon. Someday… Someday… No, someday just wouldn’t do. 

Brienne started to pace again, but for a much different reason. Yeah, the confusion was still there, but there was one thing that was perfectly clear - she needed to find a way to be certain that Jaime wasn’t going to leave town in a few hours and never return again. I could just ask him to come back, Brienne thought. No, no, no, that seems too desperate and clingy, she decided. 

Suddenly she had an idea. This just might work, she said to herself with a smile. She found her cell and sent Jaime a text: Would you mind stopping by on your way to the train station? 

He replied almost instantly: Sure. See you in an hour. 

“An hour,” Brienne whined out loud. It was the longest hour ever before he finally rang the doorbell just after 8pm. “Hi,” she said, giving him a smile. She didn’t want to talk about the night before. She didn’t want things to get awkward. But she knew she couldn’t completely ignore it. “I’m sorry about last night,” she said quickly, her cheeks flushing. 

“Me too,” he replied, his cheeks flushing as well. 

“You don’t need to be,” Brienne said softly, hoping it was enough. She felt like a teenager again, shy and uncertain of herself. “Listen,” she continued, wanting to move on and save any more awkwardness. “I had an idea.” He looked at her curiously. “How about you forget about that train tonight and ride home instead?” 

“Ride home?” he repeated, uncertain of what she meant. 

“The motorcycle,” she clarified. “Why don’t you drive it home… and you can bring it back next weekend.” Brienne decided to ignore the fact that he would have to take the train back at some point, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up right then. 

“Are… you… sure…” he asked slowly. 

Brienne nodded eagerly. Just say yes, just say yes, she repeated over and over in her head. “That way you can get home so much quicker, without all those stops. I know you have to head out on your run first thing in the morning,” she continued to justify the idea without telling him the real reason she’d come up with the plan. 

“It would save a lot of time,” he replied. “If you’re sure… I would love to.” 

“Yep, I’m sure, I’m sure,” Brienne said. What the fuck was that? I can’t even speak properly all of a sudden. She tried to play it cool and led him out to the garage. 

“This is really kind of you,” Jaime said shyly, as he picked up the helmet he’d wore the night before. 

“It’s nice to see it used,” she replied, still pretending she had absolutely no ulterior motive. 

“So, I should be back to Philly Thursday night… I’ll bring the bike back Friday morning if that’s okay?” he said. 

“Yeah that’s perfect,” she agreed. She watched him start to get the bike ready and when he looked like he was about to put on his helmet she spoke up. “One more thing before you go…” she pulled his note out of her pocket and handed it to him. Jaime opened it and grinned when he saw she had checked the No box, letting him know she wasn’t mad at him. While he was reading she had moved closer and when Jaime looked up she was less than a foot away. 

“I messed this up last night,” she whispered. “Tonight, I won’t mess up again.” Brienne leaned in and kissed him. The tingle was there in her spine the instant their lips met. It was addicting, like a drug and she knew the second they parted she would crave that feeling. Jaime was straddling the bike and she put one hand on his chest and the other on his thigh for balance. She felt his hand on the small of her back, very gently drawing her closer. 

Brienne parted her lips and as if he knew exactly what she wanted Jaime’s tongue met hers. This kiss was now different than the others and it ignited an entirely new sensation inside her. This wasn’t just a tingle - it was a full on raging inferno. It was only a kiss, but it had her body feeling like they had been engaging in extremely sensual foreplay. Brienne didn’t want it to ever end, but eventually she had to pull away because she could barely breathe. Most likely because she had been so wrapped up in everything she was feeling that she forgot about breathing altogether. But it was the right time to stop. They both knew it. 

She stepped back and looked at him. “Stay safe,” she said softly. “See you Friday.” Jaime stared back at her with his intense blue eyes and simply nodded. He put his helmet on and she watched him back out of the garage and take off with a wave. 

He’ll be back, Brienne told herself with a smile. It worked. Yes, Jaime would be back… but the next 4 days were going to be the longest 96 hours imaginable.

Somewhere inside there was a nagging voice reminding her it had only been a few days - she was moving way too quickly. There was also another voice reminding her that she absolutely had to trust her heart this time around and not think herself out of something special. There was no denying the way Jaime made her feel. He wasn’t just some rebound, Brienne knew he was far more than that - but just exactly what… that remained to be seen.


	10. Chapter 10

When Jaime arrived at work Monday morning to pick up his trailer the first thing he did was seek out his boss. Thankfully he was alone in his office, so Jaime walked in and shut the door behind him. “Clay, dude, I’m out,” he said as soon as the man looked up. 

Clay took off his glasses and studied him for a moment. “Okay,” he said with a nod. Jaime wasn’t expecting it to be that easy so he wasn’t sure how to respond. “I just need you to do this one last run since it’s already set up…” 

“Nah, man, please…” Jaime protested. “Come on. I can’t do it anymore. Things are finally looking up for me… I don’t want to risk it.”

“I’ll double the pay,” Clay said quickly. “And I swear I’ll never ask you again.” Jaime sucked in a breath. What was one more run when he’d been doing it for years? And then after he was back - done. No more. He would be completely clean from then on. He slowly nodded. “Thanks man.”

“Just as long as I have your word - this is it,” Jaime said sternly. 

“Of course,” Clay agreed. “So… who is she?” he asked with a grin. Jaime felt his face get hot instantly. “I knew it,” he chuckled. “A woman is usually the reason most guys want out. Is it serious? It must be.” 

“I’m not sure yet,” he muttered. “But I’m sure as hell not gonna do a damn thing to risk it from now on.” He thought about Brienne’s smile and her beautiful blue eyes. He couldn’t wait to see her again. 

“Oh dude, you got it bad,” Clay snorted. “Get on the road so you can get back to your woman.” 

Jaime rolled his eyes and flipped off his boss as he left the office. But he knew Clay was right. He had it bad. So bad. Could this finally be his moment? Was there a chance he was about to get everything he’d wanted for so long? As he climbed into his rig and headed out he couldn’t help but smile. For once, he had a real reason to come home. 

BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE

Things were going fairly well for Brienne for the first couple of days at least. She had moments of sadness, moments of anger, moments of loathing and self pity… all to be expected. But she was slowly coming around and feeling ready to get back to real life. 

The first thing she did was visit Mel. They called Roz and Dalla to come over as well and ordered chinese. No one brought up Catelyn or Ned or any of the bad stuff. They knew her and they knew all she needed was a girl’s night with food, laughter and alcohol. They watched movies and talked and laughed into the wee hours of the morning. Roz and Dalla both had to work the next morning and would be dead tired, but they still stayed up until they were all exhausted from laughing and too much wine. The three ladies shared a cab home and Brienne went to bed with a smile. 

She didn’t wake up with one. The entire night she had dreams about Ned. Good ones. Bad ones. But somehow… he was in every single one - even the slightly sexual one she had about Jaime. They were kissing, really kissing… kissing that leads to hot and steamy sex kissing… and suddenly Ned was there accusing them of having an affair. There were also good dreams where the wedding really happened and she had what she’d always thought she wanted. 

When Brienne woke up and thought about it… those kind of dreams were no longer good either. They were bad. Everything to do with Ned was bad. She needed a distraction from her foul mood so she turned her thoughts towards Jaime. Where was he right then? This would be Day 3 of his trip which meant he should be on his way back towards Philly - likely somewhere in the great state of Texas she decided. 

With a hot mug of coffee Brienne settled on the couch, intending on watching TV, but before she could reach for the remote her mind started to wander down a naughty little path once again. She thought about the dream she’d had and the steamy kisses with Jaime. She thought about the way it would feel to really kiss him like that… and how his hands would feel travelling all over her body, groping her ass and her breasts. 

Brienne bit her lip and closed her eyes. Her heart was pounding and she already had herself fully turned on before she started to think about him touching between her legs, teasing her… slipping his fingers inside her. She was so lost in her little fantasy she gasped out loud. She knew her nipples were completely hard and she also knew if she touched herself… her fingers would come back wet. Brienne couldn’t remember ever thinking about any man this way except for Ned. Of course she had celebrity crushes, but she’d never let her little delusional fantasies go quite this far. 

With the way she’d freaked out and ran when they kissed a few days ago Brienne wondered how she would react to taking things a step further. The thought was both incredibly enticing and also terrifying. Ned was the only man she had ever been with. What if Jaime didn’t like the things Ned did? What if… “Stop,” Brienne said. She needed to hear the sound of her voice to bring her back to the real world. She knew she was getting way too far ahead of herself. 

She looked into her empty cup and decided to go get another coffee and then actually turn on the television like she’d planned. Before she made it to the kitchen the doorbell rang. Without thinking to check first she walked to the front door and pulled it open. “Oh,” she gasped when she saw who was standing there. 

“Please can we talk?” Catelyn started begging from the get go. “Please Bri… just hear me out for a few minutes and I’ll leave. Please? I miss you so much.” 

Brienne was froze in place, mentally kicking herself for not checking who it was before she pulled open the damn door. There was a part of her that was absolutely thrilled to see her beautiful best friend standing there, but it was quickly overshadowed by hurt and anger. She took a deep breath. She couldn’t avoid this talk forever could she? You could try, a voice in her head popped up. She wanted to listen to that voice, but instead she caved. “10 minutes, tops,” she said sternly. Brienne pulled the door open wider to allow Catelyn in. 

They went to the kitchen and without asking she poured Catelyn a cup of coffee, two milk, one sugar and set it in front of her. Despite all that had happened, she knew her friend and she knew she would never turn down a coffee. After a moment of silence Brienne spoke, “Time’s ticking.” 

“I don’t know where to start,” Catelyn mumbled. There had never been a time before that the two of them had trouble talking to each other and Brienne almost felt bad watching her struggle. “I need you to know that I never told him how I felt before. I never led on… I never did or said anything inappropriate,” Catelyn started. “If Ned hadn’t come to me… I would never have told him anything. As far as I was concerned he was yours, you were getting married - end of story.” Brienne looked into her friend’s blue eyes and knew she was speaking the truth, but it didn’t change anything - not yet anyway. “But when he told me… it changed everything…” 

Brienne wanted to cover her ears and block out everything, but there was a part of her that needed to know and it kept her listening, as difficult as it was to hear. “I couldn’t let him marry you once he said he had feelings for me,” Catelyn said. 

“What the fuck Cat,” Brienne snapped angrily. “Just go…” She had heard enough. 

“No, please, just let me finish this one part,” Catelyn begged. “I’ll leave after that, but please just one more minute. “It’s not the way it sounds…” she said softly. “I didn’t mean because of me… Bri you’re my best friend. How could I let you marry a man who was telling another woman that he loved her?” There were tears in Catelyn’s eyes and as much as she didn’t want to… Brienne felt herself softening. “I’m so sorry for everything… I know we hurt you so badly… It’s not how I wanted things to work out. “ 

“Why not?” Brienne snapped. “You love him. He loves you. You’ll be happy together.” 

“But I don’t want to be happy at anyone else’s expense - especially not my best friend in the entire world,” Catelyn said, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I have loved him for a long time but I would have gladly kept quiet so you wouldn’t get hurt.” 

“It would have come out eventually,” Brienne said bitterly. As the words out of her own mouth sunk in she slowly looked up at Catelyn. It was a truth bomb of epic proportions. Wasn’t it better that it came out when it did, rather than after the wedding? Or after Brienne and Ned had children together? The two women looked at each other. Brienne swallowed the lump in her throat, refusing to cry. They both knew that they had taken a step forward, a tiny step, but it was something. They also knew things weren’t going to be fixed instantly. 

“I’ll go now,” Catelyn said gently. “Call me if you need anything, day or night.” As much as Brienne wanted to grumble something rude she knew that Catelyn was being genuine and it just wasn’t in her nature to shit on her friend’s sincerity. When they got to the door Catelyn turned. She reached out like she wanted to touch Brienne but stopped herself, not wanting to push her luck. “I love you,” she whispered before turning away and heading to her car. 

Brienne watched her leave and then ran into the house and flung herself on the sofa. “I love you too,” she said between sobs. The fact of the matter was… she couldn’t stop loving her best friend - and she missed her so bad it made her heart ache. Brienne suddenly realized that she actually missed Cat more than she missed Ned. 

Was it because of these new feelings she had for Jaime? These new feelings that may have been rooted in old feelings from her childhood? Or was it just because her and Catelyn had been inseparable since first grade? Either way… it was a strange feeling. Yet one more thing to add to her long list of confused emotions. 

JAIME - JAIME - JAIME - JAIME - JAIME

When Jaime saw the light on the sign indicating the weigh station was open his heart started to hammer. He merged into the lane and joined the line up of trucks waiting their turn. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something was going on. 

And when he saw the dogs heading into the trailer of a truck on the scales he went into full on panic mode. The dogs were looking for drugs most likely. Were there drugs hidden in his load? Jaime had no idea. He never knew what they put in there. He never asked. He just left the back unlocked while he went for a smoke and when he returned he left with whatever they did or didn’t add to his load. And when Jaime got back to Philly there was always a hefty bonus waiting, always cash. 

In all the years he’d been doing these runs Jaime had never been searched. Yet here he was, 500 miles from being out of the business completely and there were dogs searching every semi that pulled up. This is how my life goes, he thought bitterly, resisting the urge to punch the window in frustration. 

So close and then everything gets ripped away. Every. Single. Time. Jaime tried to compose himself as the employee approached. He rolled down the window and the man’s head appeared. “Hey, just doing some random searches. When you get on the scales, open up the back and stand off to the side. Once we determine you’re clear you can lock up and be on your way.” There was one truck ahead of him. Jaime was next. When that truck moved another 20 feet would he lose everything? He took a deep breath and waited his turn…


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, y’all, shit’s about to get real! Anyone who reads my work knows I’m not good at writing angst. I made my best efforts here so I hope I was able to do this scene the necessary justice. 
> 
> I decided to update twice today because I'm not sure people really liked the chapter from this morning, LOL. Sorry about that. Hopefully this makes up for it.

A split second before Jaime had finally given up and resigned to the fact that he was about to carry on the family legacy of Lannister men in prison his father had started, something happened. He heard the dogs going crazy and saw guards come running from all directions. 

Jaime held his breath and turned his head to see the employee in his window grinning at him. “Looks like it’s your lucky day Sunshine,” he said. “The pups must have found something… time to clear the area and call the narcs.” Jaime still couldn’t breathe. Was this really happening? It wasn’t quite sinking in. “Hit the road,” he finished, tapping the top of the truck before he jumped down. Jaime was still stunned as the man started to direct traffic, sending him right back towards the on ramp for the interstate. 

He didn’t breathe until he was back up to speed in the right lane and finally Jaime started gasping for air. “Holy fuck,” he said out loud. He was vibrating with shock, excitement and the last swirls of terror still swimming in his stomach. He knew he had just got out of a situation that could have been very, very bad. Maybe for once the universe was on his side. 

Just a few more hours and he was done with the sketchy part of his job. Once he dropped the load he was pulling he would be nothing more than your average long haul driver. Jaime pushed the truck as fast as the regulator would allow. He had to head out again Sunday afternoon and he was hoping with all his heart that he would get to spend a great deal of time with a beautiful blonde haired woman who had the sexiest blue eyes in the entire world. 

BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE 

It’s Thursday afternoon, Brienne thought with a smile. She had survived the week and it was time for him to return her bike. She had no idea what time Jaime would be back, but she knew in her heart that he would come that day. Not Friday morning. It would be Thursday night. She could have texted him to ask, but she didn’t want him to think she was worried about the bike or feel pressured to return it. He wouldn’t know she wanted to see him - not the bike. 

Should I make a nice dinner? She wondered. She decided not to in case he didn’t end up coming until late. She flipped on the news for background noise and thought about the ups and downs of her week. 

Brienne knew she had made some huge strides forward. The girl’s night was a great start. The talk with Catelyn… as hard as it had been, was certainly a step in the right direction. She still wavered back and forth with Cat. It was hard to miss someone so badly and be so angry with them for hurting you. It was like her heart was being pulled in two different directions - one side towards forgiveness so she could have her best friend back and the other was cold and bitter and it wanted to stay in the darkness and stay angry for eternity. Time would tell which side actually won. 

Another low point was when she went to the grocery store and listened to all the whispers, felt all the stares and sensed the pity from everyone who walked by her. But again, Brienne was very proud of herself for getting out of the house and getting back to real life once again. She knew she couldn’t hide out like a hermit forever. 

That morning she had drove past Mrs. Stark’s place and was going to stop in for coffee. No one was home and Brienne decided that was for the best. She had pushed herself pretty hard already the past few days and she really didn’t feel ready to face her ex-inlaws anyway. Even though she knew she would have been welcomed with open arms. 

Now it was approaching dark and after a successful week she just wanted to see him, Jaime - so badly. Was this what it felt like to have a crush on someone? She couldn’t remember how it felt when she first fell for Ned because she was so young. Brienne wasn’t sure - but something inside her told her that what she was feeling for Jaime was far more than just a crush. Then something else inside her suggested that maybe it was a terrible time to be feeling this way about another man. What if she was gravitating towards Jaime because she needed a rebound? Brienne didn’t even know what a rebound really was or how it felt. How could she be certain either way? She sighed and turned the channel to MTV for a bit of music instead. 

When she heard the sound her entire body raised in goosebumps. The was a motorcycle coming up her drive. He was here. She jumped up from the couch and then froze. She didn’t want to be waiting eagerly at the door like a little puppy dog. She sat down again. Then she stood up and started fussing with her clothes. She ran to the hall mirror and checked out her reflection. There were unruly waves of her short hair popping out all over, but it was too late to tame them at that point. As she was attempting to fix them the doorbell rang. 

Brienne resisted the urge to run and walked calmly to the door and pulled it open. When she saw him standing there in jeans, a black leather jacket, helmet under his arm and riding boots on she felt her knees grow weak. Jaime was an extremely sexy man, even more sexy because he had no damn clue how gorgeous he was. “Hi,” she said softly, giving him a shy smile. 

“Hey,” he replied, returning the smile with a sexy one of his own. This was one of those times Brienne felt like she was a teenager instead of the confident woman she’d grown into over the years. 

“Come in,” she said, opening the door. He moved inside and set down the helmet, then took off his jacket and boots. He planned to stay for a bit she realized with a flush. Brienne wasn’t sure whether to take him to the kitchen or the living room. She trusted her gut and let him to the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink of something?” she said, opening the fridge. “Beer? Whiskey? Water?” Water? Seriously? Brienne ducked her head into the fridge to hide the blush. 

“Beer would be great,” he replied politely. She grabbed two Buds and handed him one. They both twisted off the top and took a drink. 

“Was your drive okay?” Brienne asked, setting her bottle on the counter. She was trying hard not to make it obvious that her eyes were wandering over his body, enjoying the way his chest and shoulders were stretching the long sleeved cotton henley he was wearing. 

Jaime shrugged. “Pretty uneventful.” He gave her a little half smile, “Glad to be off for a couple days.” 

“When do you leave again?” she asked, hoping he might be around for the entire weekend. 

“Sunday afternoon,” he replied. 

“Oh,” Brienne nodded. She had to know… “Are you going back to Philly tomorrow? Or staying…” 

“Um... “ he stammered. “I thought maybe… maybe I would stay for a day… or two…” His words hung in the air for a long time. Brienne felt relief wash over her and she was trying so hard to contain it that she was making a really awkward silence.

Finally she couldn’t hold it back any longer. “I missed you,” she blurted out. Her heart was pounding with her admission and she instantly felt dizzy. 

Jaime was looking at her with those intriguing, mysterious eyes. There was so much behind them that she wanted to know. Brienne knew there were years of secrets hiding there and she wanted to know them all. “Me too,” he replied with a whisper. It was so sexy it made her body tingle. His hand was only inches from hers and Brienne slowly crept closer until their hands made contact, sending an electric jolt coursing through her. She watched as he lifted her hand off the counter into his and sensually played with her fingers. The way it made her feel inside was far more intense than it should have been. But it felt good - so good. He seemed so much more comfortable and confident, it was intriguing and it quickly wore off on her. 

When Jaime linked their fingers Brienne used the new leverage to draw him closer. It was like they were playing a little game, each taking their turn to move one step closer to what they both wanted. Neither one of them spoke, they just continued the game. Jaime slipped his free arm around her waist and she lay her free hand on his chest. Brienne was staring at her hand, resting so close to his heart she could feel it pounding. It made her smile to know she wasn’t the only one whose heart was ready to leap out of her chest. 

It was his turn. What was he waiting for? When Brienne finally tilted her chin up to look at him she realized exactly what he was waiting for. As soon as her lips were exposed he found them and kissed her. How the hell did the kisses get better every time? She wondered. It was so sensual Brienne was actually a little frightened by how her body was reacting. The was a fire burning inside her like nothing she could remember feeling before - and this was just a kiss. What would happen if he touched her? 

As if he was reading her mind she felt Jaime’s hand move, lifting the back of her shirt just enough to slip his warm hand against the bare skin on the small of her back. It felt so good, just that little intimate touch, that she groaned into his mouth. The way she parted her lips with the moan naturally took their kiss deeper. Brienne felt her back bump into the counter and then next thing she knew Jaime was lifting her up. She was sitting on the island and he was standing between her legs. He drew her close once again, so she was perching on the edge, still mostly in his arms, but the counter gave them a little extra leverage. 

With her being so tall Jaime was quite a bit shorter then so he moved to her neck instead of her lips. He sucked lightly on her skin and Brienne could feel his tongue licking at her pulse point. She realized as another moan escaped her throat that she wanted him - badly. Brienne’s brain was swirling, wondering just how far this encounter would go? It was pretty damn clear from the way he was kissing her that Jaime wanted her just as badly. She wanted to reach down and see if that desire had spread to other parts of him, but she was just a little too shy, so instead she tangled her fingers into his hair and enjoyed the way his tongue felt tasting her. 

“Oh God,” she gasped, as he nipped her skin softly. Jaime paused and she looked down at him. He was so damn beautiful. She cupped his face and leaned down to kiss him…

“Get the fuck away from her,” a voice growled. The spell was broken instantly as if someone had just dumped cold water all over her body. And that person was Ned. 

Jaime was yanked away from her and suddenly she felt cold. “What the hell are you doing here?” Brienne snapped, as soon as she was able to find her voice. She was still sitting on the counter with Jaime to her left and Ned to her right. It was a triangle standoff and everyone looked angry. 

Ned was glaring at Jaime. “I was driving by… saw the bike in the driveway and I just knew he was here.” 

“Who is and isn’t in my house is not your concern Ned,” Brienne hissed. “So get the fuck out.” Why the hell hadn’t she locked the door, she cursed. Not that it mattered anyway, Ned still had a key. She made a note to have the locks changed. 

Ned ignored her and addressed Jaime. “You have just been waiting… ready to pounce…” Brienne could see that Jaime was clenching his jaw, but he didn’t speak. 

“Ned,” she snapped again. “Get the fuck out.” 

“All these years…” Ned continued, still ignoring her. All these years… what did that mean? Brienne wondered. “And now you have your chance… but I won’t allow it.” 

She’d had enough. Where did he get off telling either of them who they could be with? Brienne jumped off the counter, landing between them. “This is not your choice,” she said, turning to Ned. 

“I won’t let you hurt her,” Ned said, looking over her head, still addressing Jaime and ignoring her. 

“What? Like you did?” Jaime finally spoke. His words enraged Ned and Brienne suddenly felt nervous standing between them, even though she knew she could hold her own if things got physical. “I would never hurt her like that - NEVER.” 

“Does she know?” Ned asked. “Does she Jaime? Does she know what you really do?” What the hell is he talking about? Brienne looked towards Jaime and saw his face change. “Yeah, I figured it out,” Ned said with an evil grin. “I could report you right now.” 

“I don’t do that anymore,” Jaime muttered. He looked defeated though and that terrified Brienne more than anything else.

“What is going on?” she growled in frustration. “You are talking around me like I’m not even here.” 

“Jaime is going to leave,” Ned said calmly. “He’s going to walk out that door right now… head back to Philly and never come back again.” Brienne watched Jaime’s face and realized he was going to do exactly what Ned said. 

“No,” she cried out. “No.” 

“I won’t let you get involved in whatever mess he’s a part of,” Ned said, still staring at Jaime. 

“I told you,” Jaime snarled. “I’m not doing it anymore.” 

“Doing what?” Brienne yelled, stomping her foot with frustration. She was so confused. The tears started to flow and she wasn’t even sure which emotion had brought them on. 

“You’ve been a fuck up all your life,” Ned spat angrily. “I won’t let you ruin her life too. I wouldn’t back then and I won’t know.” 

“Someone tell me what’s going on,” Brienne got out forcing herself to stop crying before she got so angry she couldn’t stop. 

Something changed in Jaime’s face and slowly he nodded. “Did you ever really love her? Or was it always about protecting her from me?” He didn’t look at her, but Brienne knew there were tears in his eyes too. “Nevermind. I know the answer.” With that Jaime dodged her, brushed past Ned and headed out of the kitchen.

“Jaime… Jaime… please,” she called out, starting after him, but Ned held her back. 

“Let him go,” Ned said, holding her as she struggled and fought him. 

“No… no… let me go,” Brienne screamed. “Jaime...” She kicked and clawed and punched, but Ned was strong and also a police officer trained in restraining perps. Finally she gave up and let go of all control of her body, sinking to the floor. It was too late - she wouldn’t catch him by then anyway. As Brienne collapsed in angry sobs on the kitchen floor at Ned’s feet she was lost in a world of confusion and frustration. What did it mean? She felt like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest - again. 

But then she heard a sound. One sound that was like a bandaid of hope. Just a small bandaid on a gaping wound, but it helped so much. The bike. Jaime had taken the motorcycle.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, deep breath... I know some of you totally get what I’m about to say because I can tell from your comments you’re just enjoying it despite certain issues so ignore me if you’re one of those people lol. I just need to say that I understand there are many things about this story that are not realistic. The timeline for one. Things happen very fast and that likely wouldn’t be the case in reality, I know. The forgiveness issues, yeah again I know forgiveness takes time and isn’t always possible. But I’m asking you to try to overlook some of these things in the name of fiction. I could draw it out, add 20 more chapters of Brienne sorting her shit out. I could have put in a time jump between chapters. There are several options. But I really like the idea of love being so wild and free and crazy and powerful. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys can overlook the unrealism (is that a word?) and still enjoy it. If not, I’m so sorry. 
> 
> And lastly, I don’t actually hate Ned, I swear... But you would think I did with the way I’m writing him haha - yes, he gets even worse in the future. 
> 
> Lastly - thank you all so much for reading and commenting. You have made me laugh and smile and also I’m learning not to take the negative stuff quite so personally. I’m trying 

“What the hell just happened here?” The new voice made Brienne look up from where she had dropped in a heap on the floor. “Jaime just flew off at Mach 2 on that motorcycle. He's gonna kill himself. What happened?Ned?” Catelyn looked angry, but it was clear she didn't have a clue. 

“You were supposed to wait in the car,” Ned sighed. 

“I did. For long enough. Now tell me what the hell is going on,” Catelyn spat. Brienne had only seen Cat angry a couple of times, she typically kept her cool in even the craziest situations. 

Brienne stayed on the floor and looked up at the two of them arguing. It could have been a satisfying moment to see the new lovers quarrelling like that but it wasn't. Not at all. Because she was far too distraught over what happened and the fact that Jaime was out there, upset, driving like a maniac. 

“It was like I told you,” Ned seethed. “He was here, putting the moves on her.” 

“And didn't I tell you it was none of your concern and to leave the two of them alone?” Catelyn replied, her eyes flashing. 

“I know, I know,” Ned sighed again. His voice softened a bit. “But I spent so many years keeping her safe from him and the second she's free… he's here… moving on her.” 

“What does that even mean?” Brienne finally spoke. “You spent years keeping me safe from him… from Jaime? Why?” The words came out calm but she was far from calm on the inside. She was jittering with rage, her insides quivering involuntarily. 

“Oh come on Bri,” Ned snapped. “Don't pretend you never knew. Didn't see it.”

“What are you talking about?” Brienne was shocked by her restraint. The words were cool, icy even, but still controlled.

“He's been in love with you for years. Why do you think he left town? And never came back?” As Ned spoke her heart felt like it was ripping. 

“But… but…” she stammered. “You're saying he left because… of me?” Brienne felt like crying in the inside but she held the tears back, she was done showing any sign of weakness in front of Ned and Catelyn.

Ned nodded. “He didn't know that I knew the truth until the other night. But I knew. I've always known. There's no way I was gonna let you get messed up with him…”

Brienne slowly stood, the anger inside her driving her slowly to her feet. “Let me get this straight,” she said, closing her eyes for just a moment to concentrate. “You're saying Jaime left town because he was in love with me but you and I were together. And you knew and never once said anything because you were trying to protect me?” Ned confirmed with a nod. “So you didn’t stay with me because you loved me, but because you didn't want Jaime to have me?” 

“No. No. It’s not like that,” Ned said. “I did love you. I've always loved you. I still do… just not in the same way. I care about you Brienne, I always will. And I want you to be safe.” 

“But he's your best friend,” Catelyn said, clearly still confused. 

“He is. He always will be. But he's not… he… look at his family,” Ned said, exasperated. “His dad’s in jail. His sister probably should be. And if he ever gets caught… he will be too. You don't need that Brienne. You don't,” Ned insisted.

“What she doesn't need is you tell her what to do,” Catelyn snapped. “You're being an asshole and you have no right to control her.” 

Brienne couldn’t help but appreciate Catelyn trying to defend her but she wanted a turn. “You knew all this time…” It was the one thing she couldn't let go of. “You knew and you purposely kept us apart.” Ned opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He clearly had no defence for his actions. “Things could have been so different…”

“Please understand… I was only trying to keep you safe,” he said, taking a step towards her. 

“No, you weren't. You didn't even want me but wouldn't let me go because you didn't want me to be happy with your best friend,” Brienne growled at him. 

Ned completely ignored her point. “Yeah he's my best friend and I love him but Brienne, you gotta believe me when I tell you he's a train looking to wreck. You get involved with Jaime and he's gonna take you off the tracks with him.” 

“Off the tracks,” she whispered and something struck her. “Oh my God. I know where he is. I know where he went.” Her eyes scanned the room until she spotted her keys on the table. “I gotta go,” she said, dashing for the keys. “Lock up when you leave.” She ignored the two voices calling her name as she ran, out the door to her car. 

In 10 minutes she was parked beside the bike and 5 minutes after that she found him. Right when she thought he would be. 

“I knew I would find you here,” Brienne said to his back. Jaime was standing near the edge looking out at the night sky, in the same spot they had stood together that very first night. 

“You should go,” was his reply. 

“Nope, not happening,” she said stubbornly, moving closer to him. 

“He’s right, I screw things up. You don't deserve that and I never should have…” Before he finished Brienne touched his shoulder and turned him towards her. Jaime allowed her but didn't look her in the eyes. 

“When he accused you of doing something… something bad… illegal maybe? You said you don't do it anymore, is that true?” Brienne asked. 

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Not anymore. But I did. It was wrong and I made money doing it.”

“But you quit. I believe you,” Brienne said, touching his hand. “Look at me,” she demanded. Slowly he lifted his head. “I trust you Jaime,” she spoke softly once he was finally looking at her. “I believe you and I trust you.” 

He slowly lifted a hand and touched her cheek. Brienne closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. “You probably shouldn't,” he whispered. “But I swear on my last breath I’ll never hurt you.” 

Brienne opened her eyes and smiled, “I know you won't.” Jaime smiled back. “We have a lot to talk about. Ned told me some stuff but I want the whole story - from you. I don't trust him,” She shook her head. “I hate him,” she added, gritting her teeth just thinking about him. “So will you tell me the truth?” 

“You said you trust me right?” Jaime said. She nodded. “I promise I'll tell you everything but there's something I want to do first.” He turned and looked down the tracks. Brienne could feel a light rumbling and way off in the distance there were headlights from the approaching train. “I wanna do this one last time. I wanna feel it once more. Just like I did when I was a kid.” He reached out his hand. “Do it with me?” Brienne hesitated. She had never jumped. Not once. She’d always been too scared of getting in trouble, she always followed the rules. Most of her friends had tried it at least once, but she had always found some excuse. “Just be wild and free with me. Go back to when we were teenagers. Just this one time let me jump with the girl I’ve loved almost all my life…” 

That sealed the deal. She reached out and took his hand. She trusted him more than she had ever trusted another person. Her sane mind was telling her is was dangerous and stupid but it didn't stop her. Jaime walked her to the edge. The rumbling was getting stronger and the lights of the train were bigger, brighter. Brienne heard the whistle. It was the last crossing before the station. 

She could hear the squeal of the brakes as the train started to slow down. “When I say jump you jump with me, ok?” Jaime said, leaning in to make sure she could hear him. “Just a little jump, it's not far.” Brienne knew when the train was under them it was barely three feet down to the top of the train car. The trains passed so close to the cliff that there wasn't really room to miss unless you jumped between cars. “Are you ready? I usually let 3 or 4 cars pass and jump on the 5th as long as it's not a tanker or open top.” She took a deep breath. She was nervous, but holding his hand, listening to his voice and knowing that he loved her she was also excited to try it. “It's really not that dangerous, I promise,” he whispered into her ear. “Close your eyes… feel it…” Brienne did as he said and felt the air start to change as the train approached. She smiled and the fear was gone. It felt so good to be wild and free for once in her life. 

“Two more cars and we jump,” Jaime said. She opened her eyes and looked down. The train was moving under them, but it wasn't nearly as fast as she expected or remembered. “One more…. and… now!” 

They leapt together, holding hands. In less than a second Brienne felt her feet hit the top of the traincar and her knees buckled. She let go of Jaime’s hand and caught herself, landing like a frog. “Oh my God,”  
She cried. “That was amazing.” It was just a tiny jump but she was perched on the top of a moving train with air whizzing past her and the cliff fading off in the distance. 

“Sit,” he instructed. “It's the safest.” She did as she was told and Jaime crept over and sat beside her. 

“I wanna do it again,” Brienne replied, already craving the feeling again. 

Jaime shook his head. “No way. This is the last time either of us are riding on top of a train.” 

Brienne pouted. She knew they could get in serious trouble if they were ever caught. “Fine,” she replied. “But if this is my first and last time it's gonna be memorable.” She reached for him and found his mouth. She shifted and straddled him. Jaime wrapped her safely in his arms and kissed her back. 

The thrill and excitement of the jump had her vibrating all over and she kissed him passionately. Her short hair was flying in the wind, even as the train slowed more. Brienne had never felt so free and crazy. Jaime made her feel like a different person. He brought out something special that she had kept locked inside her, something she never knew was there. Her wild heart was beating like crazy in her chest and she loved the way it felt. She loved kissing him. She loved touching him. She loved how it felt to be in his arms. She loved the way he looked at her and how his voice was just a little bit different when he spoke to her. She loved his damn face - that smile, the squinty eyes that were such a beautiful blue when he let her see them. 

As Brienne broke away breathless she realized… she just loved him. She absolutely loved him. It was crazy to feel something so strong, so soon, but she felt it still and she was absolutely certain. She still wanted to know everything but Brienne was positive there was nothing that could change the way she felt about him. No, she was very very sure that after hearing his story - she would only love him more.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know me and that 13 thing... plus this chapter isn’t super eventful so I was thinking of posting another chapter tonight.... if you guys are up for that??

The thrill and excitement of everything that had happened slowly gave way to exhaustion as Brienne drove home, Jaime following behind her on the bike. It was late and the last couple of hours had been an emotional rollercoaster - one that was far from over. 

“Should I put on coffee?” She asked as he followed her inside. “I should,” she replied with a yawn, before he could even answer her. As she went to take off her shoes she stumbled, her knees buckling with fatigue. 

“Woah,” Jaime said catching her. “You gotta get some sleep,” he said gently, as her held her steady while she finished kicking off her shoes. 

“I’m fine… just need a little caff…” her sentence was cut off with a yawn. And when she tried to take a step she stumbled again, growling with frustration. 

“You are not fine,” Jaime muttered. The next thing she knew he had his arm around her and he was helping her up the stairs. Even if she wasn’t enjoying it Brienne was too tired to resist him. She slipped an arm around his neck and leaned her head against him, letting him take some of her weight and feel as useful as he wanted to feel. Jaime didn’t seem to labour at all, even though he was helping her up entire flight of stairs. When he stopped inside her room Brienne was suddenly worried he was going to leave. And she was right. “I’ll go to Tyrion’s, let you rest. When you wake in the morning just call and I’ll come over.” 

“No… please…” Brienne got out, rubbing her sore, tired eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay… we have lots of time to talk. I promised I would tell you everything…” he started. 

Brienne shook her head. “It’s not that… I just, I just… I don’t want you to go,” she admitted, looking over at him with her blue eyes wide. “Will you stay?” 

He nodded. “I can. I’ll sleep in the spare room I was in last time…”

“No,” she jumped in. “No,” she shook her head again. “Here. I want you to stay here - with me.” Jaime looked around the room and she realized he was looking for a place to sleep in her room. “In my bed,” she added with a whisper to clarify. 

“Oh,” he replied, his cheeks flushing. It made her smile when he blushed like that. It was always unexpected because he could be completely opposite sometimes too, but so sweet and innocent. “Are you, uh, sure?” 

“Mmm hmm,” she said, taking a step closer to him. “I’ve slept with your shirt for many years… but tonight I want to sleep with you.” She stepped into his arms and lay her head on his shoulder. She breathed in his scent and closed her eyes. Brienne wanted nothing more than to climb into her big, comfy bed, and drift off to sleep wrapped up with Jaime. But he seemed hesitant and it made her nervous. “You don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” she added, looking up and giving him an out if he wanted it. 

Jaime found his game again and gave her one of his sexy grins, “Nah, it’s not that… I wanna. More than anything. I just don’t want you to get hurt… what if you don’t like what I have to say tomorrow when I tell you the whole story?” 

“It’s not gonna happen,” Brienne assured him. “I trusted you earlier, now you have to trust me,” she said, taking a step back. “Do you trust me?” she whispered softly. 

“You know I do,” he replied, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand. 

Brienne bit her lip and then smiled, “Good - take off your shirt and pants… we can’t sleep in all these clothes.” Jaime gave her a smirk but didn’t move. Not until she started taking off her own clothes. “You are wearing underwear aren’t you?” she couldn’t resist teasing him and she slipped out of her pants, revealing her own underwear. 

He smirked at her again, but nodded. As Brienne started to unbutton her shirt he quickly pulled his tshirt off over his head, his eyes only leaving her for a moment. The fact that he was being so flirty made it much easier for her to remain confident. How many times had he seen her in a bikini when they were teens? Seeing her in a bra and underwear was no different. And the same for him - it had been years, but she had seen him shirtless in swim trunks every summer until he left town. Although he was still a boy then and the half nude man standing before her was something altogether different. Something very delightful that she wanted to know - intimately. 

Brienne moved to the bed and climbed in, giving him a little space to hopefully make him feel comfortable in a strange place and to help her feel a little less crazy inside. Jaime turned his back to her, slipped off his pants and quickly climbed into bed beside her. She gave him a strange look as she moved closer and pulled the blanket over them. She yawned again, and settled against him. “You okay?” she asked, easily relaxing against his warm body. 

“Yup,” he mumbled unconvincingly. 

Brienne propped up on an elbow. “Jaime? What’s wrong?” 

He sighed and gave her an apologetic shrug. “Well… you’re practically naked… and uh… I can’t help it… it just… God, I’m sorry,” he chuckled. He squirmed a bit and she shifted… then she realized exactly what was going on. He was aroused. 

Brienne felt her entire body go hot, from head to toe. She was struck with the desire to touch him, but she used all the restraint she had to stop herself. “It’s okay,” she whispered, touching his chest softly with a fingertip. She was really glad that he wasn’t totally embarrassed. He seemed more concerned about making her uncomfortable and it was sweet. 

“That’s not helping,” he groaned. 

Brienne laughed and stopped. “Maybe we can talk for a few minutes?” She was tired, but she knew she could stay awake long enough to hopefully distract him. She ignored the voice in her head that was encouraging a very different way to deal with the situation. 

“Okay,” he agreed. 

“Tell me when you first knew…that you liked me,” She asked. Ned had said Jaime had loved her for a long time, but how long had it really been? 

She felt his chest rise as he sucked in a breath. “I can’t remember a time I didn’t love you,” he said, causing her heart to flutter. “I think I fell for you the first day of Kindergarten,” he continued. “I was scared and I didn’t really know anyone…” Some of the kids had attended preschool together, but Jaime hadn’t. “And this blue eyed angel with adorable blonde curls said I could sit beside her.” 

“I did?” Brienne asked, smiling. “I don’t remember that. I wish I remembered…” 

“You did,” he said, smiling back at her. “We sat beside each other for the first few weeks and eventually they rearranged us. You played with your girlfriends and I met Ned… but I never forgot about that moment. Even when girls were supposed to be icky… I would look at you and it made me feel good inside. I didn’t know what that meant for a long time, but by the time it made sense… it was too late.” 

“But you asked me to the junior prom…” she said, thinking of the letter. “If only I had said yes to you and no to stupid ass Ned.” 

“Don’t,” Jaime whispered, stroking her hair. “Everything works out the way it’s supposed to, remember?” Brienne swallowed the lump in her throat since she’d swore off tears for a long, long time, but it was extremely difficult given how tired she was. “I got out of this town and kinda made something of myself,” he said. “Who knows what would have happened to me if I stayed… stayed around my dad… Cersei...” 

“But all those years… all those wasted years…” she protested. 

“Don’t,” he stopped her, brushing her cheek. “Don’t think that way. We can’t change it now. No regrets, okay?” 

“Okay,” she whispered, leaning back on his chest again. “Did you really leave because of me?” she asked, enjoying the feel of her cheek touching his warm skin. 

It was a while before he replied and she was so close to losing her battle with sleep. “Yeah, I did,” Jaime spoke, his voice a low rumble. His admission made her eyes open wide once again. It was the most tragically romantic thing she had ever heard of in her life. And he’d held on to his love for her all these years… She had more questions. She wanted to know if he’d ever loved anyone else, if he’d tried to move on and forget her. She wanted to know what his life was like in Philly, if he’d ever been happy. But she didn’t ask him anything - they had tomorrow for that, instead she kissed him. 

Anything the chatting had undone was immediately put right back to square one as things heated up between them. Brienne rolled so she was half on top of him and Jaime’s hands were all over her ass, groping and squeezing as they kissed. She moved again and straddled him, letting herself settle against his groin area. She moaned into his mouth feeling his erection pressing between her legs. 

One of his hands moved all the way up her side, leaving tingles in its wake until it found one of her breasts. He squeezed through her bra and Brienne felt her body start to ache in all the right places. She instinctively started to rock her hips, pressing herself against his dick, rubbing against him. Jaime grabbed her ass again and moved his body with hers. “Mmm,” she moaned, enjoying the pressure on her clit. She was still dying to touch him and she slipped a hand down his body, reaching for his waistband as she slipped off him. 

Somehow she worked a hand inside his underwear, all while still maintaining the kiss. Jaime groaned when her hand lightly brushed the tip of his dick. Just feeling him made her body and mind go absolutely crazy. There were so many emotions inside her, everything from desire to fear, all swirling around in her brain. But it didn’t stop her from reaching farther inside and fully grasping his cock in her hand. 

Before she could start to stroke him Jaime stopped her. “Brienne... Bri… Stop,” he said, pulling away, breathless. “It’s not the right time… don’t get me wrong, I want this - so bad.,, I’ve fantasized about this moment forever... But I can’t… I just can’t do it… Not until you know everything and you still want me.” 

His words, his chivalry, his honesty… it made him even sexier and more desirable. She slowly released him and removed her hand. Brienne knew in her heart that it didn’t matter what he had to say - it wasn’t going to change the way she felt about him. But she also knew she had to respect his wishes. She gave him one more kiss and then a nod. “Roll over,” she instructed him. When he did Brienne covered them with the blanket and tucked herself up against his back. There was no way either of them would sleep with his erection touching her ass. Luckily the exhaustion finally took over, shutting down her raging hormones and putting her to sleep in minutes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, as promised here is the second chapter for today. Enjoy!

When Brienne woke the next morning Jaime wasn't in bed with her. She was struck with a sense of panic and sat up quickly, “Jaime? Jaime?” She called out, her voice tense and nervous. “Jaime?” She said louder. 

“Hey,” he said, popping his head out of the en suite bathroom. “Sorry, I just took a quick shower… hope that's okay?”

Relief washed over her. He hadn't given her any reason to think he'd run and she suddenly felt very silly for panicking. “Yeah, of course it is,” she replied, trying to hide her blush. The colour in her cheeks got brighter when Jaime stepped into the room wearing only a towel. Holy crap he's sexy, she thought, quickly looking over his form. “I guess I'll just let you get dressed and have a shower myself,” she stammered, slipping out of bed, feeling awkward that she was only in her bra and panties. She hadn’t felt the least bit self conscious the night before, but morning light often brings a little too much clarity. 

“I'll put on a pot of coffee,” he said as she disappeared into the bathroom. 

“Okay thanks,” Brienne called out before shutting the door. Holy crap, if that hair doesn't scare him away nothing will, she thought looking at her wild locks with a smile. She quickly got in the shower and started to think about things as the hot water relaxed her.

She couldn't help but be a little nervous about what all Jaime would tell her that day, but it was more because he seemed so scared she wouldn't want to be with him after she heard everything. Brienne believed in him though, even if she really didn't know him all that well. The acts of kindness he'd already shown her and the way he’d changed his own path in life so selflessly told her everything she needed to know about what kind of man Jaime truly was. 

As she was rinsing the conditioner out of her hair an idea came to her. The longer she thought about it the better the plan seemed and by the time she was out, dressed and heading down to the kitchen she was excited to tell him. 

“Soooo,” Brienne started, giving him a little smirk that received a look of curiosity. “I want you to take me home,” she finished quickly. 

“Uh… you are home…” he replied, looking at her like she was crazy. 

“Nooooo, not my home, your home. Take me to Philly with you,” she explained. 

“Oh… uh… okay…” he said slowly. “Like now? Why? For how long?” 

Brienne rolled her eyes. “So many questions,” she teased. “Honestly? I just need to get away from here for a little while. There's too much history, too many memories… and I don't want them influencing the first few new memories I want to make… with you.” 

“We should talk first,” Jaime replied. “Then if you still want to go I'll take you.”

“I'm going to pack,” Brienne responded with a smile. “We can talk on the way.” 

“Brienne...” his voice held a warning tone. “Please…” 

She shook her head stubbornly. “Nope. It's a nice long car ride, plenty of time to chat on the way.” Jaime went to protest again. “Nope,” she interrupted. “You must remember how stubborn I am, right?” He nodded with a defeated sigh. “Besides, you can relax, I know everything I need to know about you, this talk is just a formality.” For the first time, in all the times they had discussed his past, Jaime smiled. 

“Okay, but there is one thing I have to say before we go,” Jaime somewhat resigned. “Go pack and I'll be waiting.”

It only took her 10 minutes to pack a bag with everything she needed. She had no idea how long she was going to stay with him but she could always do laundry or buy clothes if she needed to. “Okay, what did you want to say?” She asked, plopping the heavy duffle bag on the floor. 

“Ned and Catelyn...” he started.

“Oh hell no, I don't want to talk about them today,” Brienne snapped, a little edgier than she had meant to. 

“I know, but just hear me out…” Jaime pleaded. “I know you're angry with them and you should be, but in time I need you to promise me you’ll at least make an attempt at forgiving them.” 

She bristled instantly, but softened a bit after thinking a moment. “Maybe Cat,” Brienne said. “But I don't think I can ever forgive Ned for this, any of it.” 

Jaime’s voice softened. “You know him as well as I do - when Ned commits to something he's all in.” Brienne looked at him and was interested in where the idea was going so she let him continue. “Somewhere along the way he realized I had fallen in love with you, and somehow he decided he needed to protect you from me. Brienne, he treated you good. You were happy and you loved him back. You were going to marry him…” She couldn't help but give a disgusted snort. “He thought he was protecting you…” 

“I didn't need protecting,” Brienne snapped. “I just… I just needed to be loved.” 

“I know,” Jaime said softly, standing up and walking over to her. “But I need you to believe that we’re together now because this is when we are supposed to be.” He wrapped her in a hug and as she hugged him back she started to realize that this request of his might actually be more for him than for Ned and Cat. And even if it wasn't… what kind of incredible person could want forgiveness for someone who did such a shitty thing? “I need to believe that my life, the path I took… wasn't a mistake,” Jaime whispered against her hair. “I need to believe that this was how it was supposed to happen.” It felt so good in his arms, she closed her eyes and listened to his voice. “I can't do that if we both hold a grudge against Ned because it means everything that happened was wrong…” He drew back, “Am I even making sense?” 

Brienne nodded and looked into his eyes. “I can't promise you anything except that I will try - but not for them - for you.” It was gonna take time for her wounds to heal, and she really wasn't sure she could ever feel anything but ill will towards Ned, but it was important to Jaime so she would try. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. They stood in the kitchen hugging for a while, enjoying the security and comfort of being in each other's arms. Finally Jaime pulled away gently, “Ready to go?” 

They locked up her house and got into the car. “My place isn’t much,” he said as he started to back out of the drive. Brienne had let him drive since he knew where he was going. 

“Stop,” she said. “You know I don't care.” Once they were on the outskirts of town she spoke again, “Okay, start talking so we can get that all out of the way and you can relax.” 

He sighed and shook his head, but gave her a sideways glance and smile. “Well… where do I start? You know most of the first part, and why I left town… And you know I got a job driving truck… might as well fill you in on what Ned was talking about…” His cheeks flushed. “I get paid extra money, cash, to allow people to add stuff to my load that I bring back to Philly,” he said quickly. He looked so embarrassed. 

“Oh…” Brienne wasn’t all that surprised, she was expecting something like that, yet to actually hear him say it was still somewhat shocking. “So you’re like a smuggler or something? Was it drugs?” 

“A smuggler… I guess,” he admitted. “Never thought of it like that, but I suppose that’s the right word.” Jaime sucked in a breath. “I don’t know if it was drugs. But I would assume so.” 

“How did you not know?” Brienne asked curiously. 

“I, uh… I just left the back unlocked,” he explained. “... went for a short walk and let them do their thing while I was gone. When I dropped the load in Philly part of the deal was that I didn’t have to unload anything… just leave the trailer, take my extra cash and wait for the next run.” 

“So all this time you could have been moving hot chili peppers,” Brienne offered. 

Jaime chuckled, “Maybe… but I picked up my load at the mexican border and got paid a lot of money to get it to Philly...” 

“Huh,” Brienne said, pondering for a moment. “But you swear it’s over?” 

He nodded eagerly. “I promise you, I’ll never be involved with anything like that ever again.” 

“Okay,” Brienne stated. 

“Okay… that’s it? You’re fine with it?” Jaime seemed shocked even though she had told him so many times not to worry. 

“You did it. You’ve been honest with me. And now it’s over,” She shrugged. “I trust you Jaime. You’ve never had anyone trust you before have you?” 

He shook his head. “Guess not. Well, Tyrion of course - but that’s about it.” 

“Well I do. You’re not going to hurt me - ever. I know it. I believe in you,” she said, reaching for his hand. “Besides, you’re like a modern day trucker pirate…pirates are sexy… and you’re way hotter than Johnny Depp,” she teased him. 

Jaime physically relaxed, she could feel the tension leaving him as they held hands. “Okay, so you know that part… there’s one more thing you should know…” Brienne held her breath, she had no idea what was coming. “I know I was being all preachy about forgiveness and stuff… but when I found out that Ned knew all this time how I felt about you… I punched him… twice…” 

Brienne stared at him for a minute. Was he seriously thinking she was going to be mad about that? She started to giggle, “You did? Oh. My. God. I wish I could have seen that.” When she stopped giggling she had to know, “Why on earth would you be worried to tell me that?” 

“I dunno,” Jaime shrugged. “I don’t want you to think I’m just some punk who gets mad and fights… and assaults officers…” he added. 

“Oh Jaime , you’re so sweet,” she cooed. “I think it’s hilarious that you punched Ned. He deserved it. Every bit of it. And it’s not just some punk thing to fight when you’re mad… in my experience it’s a guy thing in general.” She looked at his handsome face and would have kissed him if he wasn’t driving. “I think it’s why men get over things so much faster - you throw a few punches to show how you feel and you just get it out. Maybe I should go punch him a couple times too.” 

Jaime chuckled. “His damn head is pretty hard, but I know you… you could take him, even with these pretty hands,” he said, lifting up the hand he was holding and linking their fingers. She’d had acrylics put on for the wedding. They rode in silence for a while and Brienne suddenly felt sad. The things Jaime had to tell her really hadn’t been as bad as he made them seem. Yeah, there would be some women who wouldn’t risk a relationship with someone who had smuggled drugs, or something, for years… but she believed him when he said he would never do it again. It was part of his past now and she wanted to be part of his future. It hurt her heart that Jaime had never had someone who believed in him other than his little brother. And it was so painful see how insecure he’d become because he’d never had anything truly good in his life. She wanted him to know that he was special. Brienne wanted him to know that she truly believed he was ‘the one’ all along. 

“Home sweet home,” Jaime announced a while later. They had drove a long time in silence, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, it was nice. There weren’t many people you could just be with, just be… and it felt perfectly normal. 

Brienne saw the truck parked in the drive and they pulled in beside it. The house was small, but it was in a nice neighborhood from the looks of it. He had a small front yard and she was pretty sure she could see a pool in the backyard. 

Jaime carried her bag and led her inside. “The tour won’t take long,” he joked. “Kitchen, living room..” She followed him down the hall. “Spare room, bathroom… and…” he opened the last door. “My room.” The house was neat and tidy. Quite minimalist with decore, which didn’t surprise her for a male bachelor. It felt warm and cozy and she immediately felt at ease. 

“You hungry? You wanna go out and get some lunch?” Jaime asked. 

“A little,” she replied. “But there’s something I wanna do first.” With her stomach full of butterflies and her heart racing so fast she felt dizzy Brienne took his hand and led him towards the bed. “It’s the right time,” she stated. “Isn’t it?” She needed to know he felt the same way. 

Jaime brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Yeah,” he said softly. “It’s the right time.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy good Friday! Is it wrong to post smut on a religious holiday? LOL I hope you guys like it. I do apologize for not making the confession more angsty, but there is some angst coming up later so maybe that will make up for it.

Brienne stopped beside the bed, holding Jaime’s hand with their fingers gently tangled. Touching him was the only thing keeping her from freaking out completely. Ironic, given the fact that the idea of touching him was what had her stomach filled with butterflies to begin with. When she told him it was the right time she also meant that it was the right place. They could have easily made love in her house, in her bed the night before, but now that she was there in his room - Brienne was thankful it hadn’t happened. 

Her house was filled with memories of Ned. Even though she got rid of his things he was still everywhere. Here, in Jaime’s room, it was just them. It was a new starting point - it was their moment and not anyone else’s. Brienne knew that eventually Ned’s presence in her home would fade away but she wanted her first time with Jaime to be special and she was certain that this was a far better time and place. 

Slowly she turned and looked at him. There was no sense in pretending she was completely fine. She knew Jaime would understand. “I’m really nervous,” she whispered. 

She prayed he wouldn’t take her admission the wrong way and he didn’t. “Me too,” he admitted. He reached out and touched her face. Brienne could see his fingers were shaky until he made contact with her skin and she nuzzled her cheek into his hand. 

“I’ve only ever been with…” She didn’t want to say his name right then. 

But she didn’t have to, “I know, shhh, it’s okay.” Jaime soothed her as he pulled her against his chest. “If you want to stop… at any time… you just have to tell me okay?” he whispered, stroking her hair gently. “I’ve waited my whole life for this… a little longer won’t hurt me,” he teased. 

Brienne drew back and shook her head, “I won’t change my mind, but thank you.” She bit her lip and smiled at him shyly. Being bashful and nervous wasn’t something she was used to anymore, but he didn’t mind and she wasn’t embarrassed about it at all. She reached out and touched his chest. He watched as she slowly trailed her hands down to the bottom and then grabbed the tee shirt and started to tug it upwards. Jaime lifted his arms and she pulled it right off. She bit her lip again, trying to hold back the whimper as her eyes washed over him. Brienne traced his left collarbone with a single fingertip and Jaime moaned. She looked into his eyes and saw something wild and feral that filled her body with heat. 

Before she could touch him again Jaime started to unbutton her shirt. He pushed it off her shoulders and she turned her head to watch it drop to the floor behind her. Before she turned back she felt something wet and hot on her skin. Jaime was touching her collarbone, just like she’d done to him, but he was using his tongue. “Oh God,” she gasped, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back to give him better access. He moved from her collarbone up to her neck and sucked lightly on her skin. They were barely getting started, but everything felt so amazing and so natural. For two people who had only kissed a few times… things were progressing quite smoothly. 

As he kissed her neck Jaime reached behind her and undid her bra. She felt it release and her heart pounded harder. This was new territory and it was both scary and exciting. He rose up and kissed her softly on the lips before he released her. Brienne saw his hands trembling when he reached for the straps of her brassiere. Jaime slipped the first one off her shoulder and then kissed where the strap had been. He did the same on the other side and then stepped back to let the lacy material fall, exposing her completely. 

That wild look in his eyes intensified and he emitted a low groan as he bent his head and took her nipple into his mouth. Brienne choked back a whimper and arched into him. She reached for him blindly and pulled their hips together. Her body was rippling with desire, overshadowing her nerves. It made her both eager and bold so Brienne started to work on his pants as Jaime moved to the other nipple. 

Things were getting extremely heated and intense. She needed a breather… she needed to slow things a bit so she pulled away, pushed him back and stared at him, far more breathless than she should have been. She struggled for air as hard as she struggled to keep from throwing herself on the bed and pulling him down on top of her. 

“You okay?” Jaime asked, looking concerned. 

“Oh yeah,” Brienne panted. “I’m absolutely okay.” She reached for the top button of her jeans and undid it. That was as far as she’d got with his. He followed her lead and they both removed their own pants. “Mmm,” she whimpered, this time she couldn’t hold it back. She could see his erection inside the boxer briefs he was wearing, thick and full, and once again she felt dizzy. 

Jaime saved her legs from completely giving out when he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the middle of the bed where he set her down gently. He was so strong and it felt incredible to be lifted off her feet that way. Jaime was tall, like her and it didn’t feel at all awkward for her to carry her with her long legs dangling over his arm. 

He kissed her exposed skin, everywhere, gentle soft whispers all over her body that left a tingling sensation in their wake. He stopped just below her belly button and Brienne felt his hands on her hips, touching the waist band of her panties. He looked up at her and waited. She realized he was looking for permission and she nodded. She lifted as he worked them down over her ass and set herself back down, watching him pull them off her legs. 

She was fully exposed to him. Every part of her was at his mercy. It wasn’t until Jaime stood and removed his own underwear that she started to panic. Every question that came to mind was swirling in her head - what if he doesn’t like it? What if I’m not good? What if I don’t turn him on? What if my boobs are too small? What if I’m too lanky? Maybe Ned had lied to her about sex too. Maybe he never had liked it either. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, so softly he couldn’t possibly make out what she said. 

“Brienne?” he froze and looked at her. “Do you want me to stop?” Jaime blushed and she could tell he was having a hard time not covering himself. Her stupid nerves were making him self conscious. 

“No, no… I just said I’m sorry,” Brienne replied. 

“For what?” He looked confused. 

She flushed. “I’m just worried… you won’t like it…” 

“Oh my god,” he breathed, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. “I’m gonna lie and say I haven’t been with quite a few women over the years,” Jaime said. “But I’ve never been with a woman I loved because I’ve only ever loved you.” Brienne felt sappy tears prickle her eyes. They were so different in experience. She’d only been with one man because she’d only loved one man, he’d been with a lot of women but he’d only ever loved one he’d never been with… and now he finally had the chance to be with her. 

Brienne sucked in a breath and decided she couldn’t ruin this for him in any way. He deserved their first time to be as perfect as possible - they both did. “Make love to me,” she whispered, reaching up to cup his face. “I love you so much,” she got out, through the lump in her throat as she held back the tears. 

“I love you too,” Jaime replied. She was sure she saw him tear up too before he found her mouth and started to kiss her. Everything that happened from that point on felt like a perfect ebb and flow between two souls who knew each other inside and out. She couldn’t get over how connected she felt to him, to this man who she’d only really know as a childhood friend until a few days earlier. 

As they kissed he moved between her legs and like they had done it before he slipped into her easily. Brienne moaned as he filled her up. It felt so good. So right. Like he was exactly where he was meant to be. With Jaime buried inside her Brienne couldn’t move. She was frozen in place with fear that he might suddenly take away everything that felt so good. Don’t let him, a voice inside her head screamed. It forced her into action and she slipped her tongue into his mouth and kissed him deeply. Make sure he knows how much you want him, how much you’re enjoying it, the voice spoke again. She moaned into his mouth as they kissed and the second he started to move she broke away. “Oh…” she gasped. “It feels so good,” she sighed. She threw her hands up above her head, stretching out her body, relaxing to focus on the incredible feeling Jaime was creating between her legs. The feeling may have started between her legs, but as he slipped in and out of her slowly it started to build, moving low in her belly, then higher and higher until she felt the fire on every inch of her body. 

How long had it been? Brienne wondered. Seconds… a few minutes… longer? She had no damn clue and she really didn’t care. There was nothing wild and crazy about what they were doing, nothing kinky or unusual, but the way her body felt was like she was on the edge of bliss, ready to fall but not ready for it to end just yet. There was so much more they would experience together, but Brienne knew she would never forget this first time. It was beautiful. And it was the start of something special. 

She started to squirm below him. Jaime was pushing deep into her core and the spot he was hitting was driving her wild, driving her closer and closer to the edge. She wanted to watch his face, and see that crazy desire swirling in those blue eyes, but she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. Brienne gasped, cried out and shuddered all in quick succession as the orgasm started, getting stronger until she felt like something inside her exploded. 

“Holy fuck,” Jaime muttered. He had his hands on her hips, trying to keep her writhing at bay so he could keep fucking her. Brienne had her eyes closed but there was a smile on her lips. With each stroke she could feel herself getting wetter and when she opened her eyes the look of wonder and bliss on his face told her that Jaime could feel it too. There was also a light throbbing inside her and she wondered if he could feel that. 

Brienne decided after a few contractions that he must have felt it because Jaime closed his eyes, his mouth gaping as his face conveyed the same feeling she’d just experienced herself. He didn’t make a sound, but his body jerked and his strokes shortened, then stopped altogether. The way he was squeezing her hips while he came should have hurt, but knowing how intense his orgasm was, so intense he needed to grasp something… it made her happy, thus the slight pain was welcomed. 

She still had no clue how long they had been in bed, but she didn’t care. The length of time didn’t matter when it felt that good. She relaxed and closed her eyes again for a moment, but the feeling of Jaime pulling out made her eyes fly open. She instantly felt so empty. She wanted him back. She didn’t want to lose the feeling of being one with him. He was looking at her and she pouted. He understood but just laughed and kissed her. He lay down beside her, propped on one elbow. “Kinda silly we were worried about that huh?” Brienne said, hoping she wasn’t being presumptuous and it really was as good for him as it had been for her. 

“Very silly,” he replied, lightly grazing her tummy with his fingertips. 

“I wanna stay here forever,” she sighed. “Just like this.” 

“Mmm, the idea does sound appealing,” he replied. “But… I’m fucking starving. We need food.” 

The mention of eating made her stomach growl and Jaime laughed. He likely felt the rumble as he continued to stroke her belly. “I supposed we can go eat… as long as you promise me round two… and maybe three…” She looked at him with her blue eyes sparkling. 

Jaime jumped out of bed. “Get your clothes on before I start round two right now,” he said, tossing random articles of clothing on the bed from off the floor. “I’m taking you to my favourite restaurant. Best southern cooking ever.” 

“Hmm… you haven’t eaten my fried chicken or pecan pie,” Brienne teased. 

“Oh god,” he groaned. “Why does that sound so much like foreplay?” I’m not really that hungry, Brienne decided as she let her legs fall open. She licked her lips and then cupped her breasts, squeezing them gently. Jaime froze, staring at her. Will he take the bait? She wondered.


	16. Chapter 16

Jaime dropped the underwear in his hands and dove onto the bed. He grabbed her and rolled, pulling her on top of him. Brienne giggled. That was too easy, she thought. She didn’t have much time to think though, because Jaime started to kiss her passionately. Brienne stretched her body out on top of him and kissed him back. It was so sexy to be lying like that, completely naked, but just kissing… well, with a little groping too. 

She hooked her leg around his and tugged as she started to roll over, letting him know she wanted to be on the bottom for awhile. Jaime moved with her, but kept the top half of his body propped up so he wouldn’t squish her while they continued to make out. Brienne knew he needed time and she was completely happy for them to just kiss and caress each other. It was something that was often missing in more serious relationships and she forgot how nice it was - and how much it turned her on. 

Completely wrapped up in Jaime she actually missed the sound of the door opening… or maybe they hadn’t actually shut it. But she didn’t miss the sound of the woman’s voice, “Ay dios Mio.” Jaime turned slightly, but was still protecting her body from view with his own. “You need to remember to shut your door Jaime,” she snapped. “I didn’t need to see your gran culo blanco.” 

“Rosie,” he growled. “Get outta here.” 

“I’m going, I’m going,” she muttered. “I guess I’ll start in la cocina.” The door slammed behind her. 

“Uhhh,” Brienne gave him a horrified look. “Who the hell was that?” She squirmed out from under him and started to grab her clothes. Her mind was swirling and she felt panicked. 

“Bri… Bri… relax,” he said reaching for her hand. “That’s Rosie… my housekeeper.” 

“Your… housekeeper?” She repeated. Why the hell would Jaime have a housekeeper. “You serious?” 

He nodded. “It’s a strange story…” Jaime sat on the bed and patted the spot beside him. “When I first moved here I saw Rosie crying one day. I’m not usually the type to get into anyone else’s business, but I asked if she was okay and she told me that her daughter had her baby almost 10 weeks premature. The little girl would have to spend several months in the hospital and the family was struggling to afford the bills. She was looking for extra work… she was a housekeeper… So… I hired her.” Brienne looked at him, her heart filling with warmth. Was he absolutely perfect? She wondered. “That was, wow… almost 10 years ago now. The little girl, Sera, is in 5th grade I think… Rosie… well she’s kinda like a mom to me,” Jaime explained. “I don’t really have a lot of friends - keep to myself mostly… and she’s always been around.” Brienne touched his knee to offer an apology for freaking out. “I totally forgot she was coming today… it’s my fault… but she would have seen your car in the drive,” Jaime snarled. “She should have known I had someone here.” 

He stood up and started to get dressed. “I guess maybe we should have went out for food huh?” he said, giving her a sheepish look. “Come on, get dressed and I’ll introduce you to Rosie.” 

“Oh my God, noooooo,” Brienne protested. “I can’t… she saw us…” 

“Relax,” he interrupted. “We’re adults. Adults have sex. It’s no big deal… besides, you were hidden, it’s my… what did she call it? Gran culo blanco… I think that’s big white ass...” he grinned. “She saw, not your perfect little culo.” 

“Yeah, but she still might have seen my… los boobies,” Brienne muttered. Jaime laughed at her sad attempt at Spanish. 

“Your los boobies are beautiful,” he said softly. Jaime walked over and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m really sorry. Let’s go meet Rosie, then we’ll go get food… once we come home… she’ll be gone… it’ll be just the two of us…” 

“Okay,” Brienne replied. She got dressed quickly, checked her hair in the mirror and then followed him out to the kitchen where Rosie was scrubbing the sink. Before he had a chance to introduce her the two of them started to banter back and forth. 

“Ever heard of knocking?” He started.

“How was I to know you were in there with your bare bum bum hanging out,” Rosie shuddered. “It's roasted on my brain.” Brienne almost laughed, she was pretty sure she’d meant burned in her mind. 

“Didn’t you see the car?” Jaime snapped. 

“Yeah, but I work here diez years now and no lady come home with you before,” Rosie shot back in her thickly accented english. 

Jaime blushed and tried to retaliate, but he had nothing. “Well… uh… well there’s one here now,” he muttered. “This is Brienne,” he said, finally introducing her. 

 

Rosie whipped off the rubber gloves she was wearing. “You say Brienne?” she breathed. “The Brienne?” Jaime blushed harder and nodded. The next thing she knew the little spanish woman was coming at her, arms wide open. “Oh Jaime, she is so hermosa,” Rosie said as she wrapped Brienne in a bear hug. Bri bent over and hugged her back, giving Jaime a look over her shoulder. “I am so happy to meet you Brienne,” she squealed. Rosie drew back and gave her a huge smile… then the smile slowly faded… “Hold on… what about Ned? The wedding? Dio… are you two… having… an affair?” 

“No, no…” Brienne shook her head quickly. “Ned and I broke up… the wedding didn’t happen.” 

“Ahhh,” Rosie smiled and hugged her again. “Okay then… I am so happy you’re here Miss Brienne.”

Once they had left and were in the car Brienne asked the question burning in her mind, “You told her about me?” 

Jaime nodded. “I usually keep stuff to myself, but when I found out you and Ned were getting married and I was gonna be in the fucking wedding I was a mess… Rosie wouldn’t let it go until I told her everything.” He grinned. “She’s persistent. But damn it felt good to finally tell someone.” 

Brienne reached out and held his hand for a moment. She hadn’t even thought about how hard it would have been for Jaime to be in the wedding, let alone how hard it was to keep a secret that huge for that long. Yep, the man was pretty much perfect, she was sure of it. 

The food they had for supper was nothing short of perfection as well. Jaime was right when he said it was the best southern cooking ever. Bri knew she was a damn good cook herself, but that restaurant rivaled her best dishes. She gushed for the first few minutes of their drive home about how incredible dinner had been, but once that was over the rest of the ride was oddly quiet. They both knew exactly what was going to happen when they got home and the tension built the entire drive. 

By the time they stepped inside the front door Brienne was pretty sure the anticipation had created a physical presence you could feel in the air between them. She couldn't remember ever being so nervous about something she wanted so badly. Their first time had been sweet and incredible, but for some reason she was a million times more anxious this time. There was a certain sexiness to the knots in her stomach and the way her palm was sweating as she held his hand and lead Jaime slowly to the bedroom because his palms were damp too and she was willing to bet he had those same knots. 

She knew that their relationship had the potential to be complicated and there was still so much she needed to learn about him, but the one thing she did know was that Jaime was a good man. He was a good man and he loved her, just like she loved him. And in such a short amount of time - she really, really loved him. Everytime she wondered if she could love him more he did something that answered her question with a resounding yes. 

Brienne led him into the bedroom and closed the door behind them. Rosie was gone and she knew the housekeeper had very likely learned her lesson, but even if they were alone it still seemed like a good idea to make sure it was shut this time. 

Sometimes going into an encounter it was very clear who the dominant partner would be. But Brienne wasn't sure how Jaime wanted it to go and she honestly had no idea herself. While still holding his hand, facing away from him, staring at the closed door she was having a mental argument as to whether to initiate a discussion or just go with the flow. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass him or herself. This was one of those times she wished she’d been with more than just one man before Jaime. She knew what Ned liked, but she didn’t know what men liked. 

“You okay?” Jaime asked causing her to turn. 

“Yeah… I think so… just nervous again,” She admitted with a shy smile. 

“Yep… I know the feeling,” he replied. “I feel silly because we’ve already done this yet I don’t even know where to start,” Jaime chuckled. 

His admission gave her a boost of confidence. "I think getting our clothes off is a pretty good place to start," she said, stepping just a little closer. She reached for his hand and brought his fingertips to her lips, kissing them softly before placing his hand on her chest, over the first button of her sweater.

She hid a smile as he brought his other hand up to start unbuttoning. Jaime’s hands were trembling, but he worked quickly and soon her shirt hung open, baring the camisole she was wearing underneath. He pushed the sweater off her shoulders to the floor and took a minute to kiss her neck. His mouth was warm and wet as he sucked at the spot where her heart was beating, rather wildly. Brienne couldn’t help but grope blindly for his belt, selfishly needing to get things moving along. She accidentally brushed his cock and Jaime groaned.

“Oops,” she said innocently. That was where the innocence ended though as she stroked the length of him through his jeans, eliciting another groan, but with it a new focus on getting each other naked. Jaime peeled off her shirt, preventing her hands from roaming anymore for a moment. Instead of going back to his pants she decided to get his shirt off first. She reached around him and let her fingers graze over his muscular back while she kissed his shoulder. When she looked up his eyes were closed and he looked almost blissful, just from her light touch. 

When her hands trailed down his chest and stopped at the button on his jeans Jaime’s eyes flew open. He took her cue and resumed removing her clothing. With their shirts and pants on the floor they stood before one another in only their undergarments. She could see his erection straining and felt her body flush with heat. She wanted to see it again, so badly. But she would let him go first and turned to present him with the clasp on her bra. She felt him fumble a bit and then the bra released. 

Brienne turned back and let the bra fall away but when Jaime stared a little too long without touching her she moved his hand to one of her boobs and pulled his head down. When his lips closed over her nipple she sighed and when he sucked she moaned. Jaime wrapped his free hand around her body and pulled her against him. His erection was pressing into her and she needed to feel it again.

She somehow worked a hand in between their bodies and started to rub him through the thin cotton material. “Jesus,” he whimpered, releasing her nipple. “I can’t…” he stammered. “Can’t take much of that…” It was an admission of just how turned on he was and how badly he wanted her. 

As much as she wanted to keep pushing him, Brienne understood and backed off. Well, if he needed a break from her touch she had a great idea of how he could pass the time. She quickly squirmed out of her panties and led him to the bed. She sat on the edge and tugged Jaime down to his knees. She could see his chest pounding as she drew her feet up onto the bed and let her legs fall open like she had earlier. A strange, feral sound came out of him, like the low growl of an animal about to attack their prey. It turned her on so much that Brienne could actually feel herself getting wetter in anticipation. She was proud of herself for being bold with him and was glad that he didn’t seem to mind one bit. 

She could have lay back, relaxed and let him work, but she stayed sitting up mostly, leaning back just a bit, so she could watch him. As much as she wanted to grab his head and get him started she waited and studied his face as he stared at her. She was still trying to figure out if he was just nervous, didn’t do much oral, or didn’t really want to do what she was asking when he answered her question with one lick of his tongue. It was slow, but confident. No, he wasn’t nervous. Yes, he definitely did want to do what she was asking. And lastly, in about 10 seconds she knew it certainly wasn’t the first time he’d gone down on a woman.

Once again Brienne found herself surprised, not only by his skill, but how gentle and intuitive he was. She didn’t need to tell him what she liked, he seemed to know by the way she reacted. And she wasn’t faking or exaggerating any of those reactions. The moans as he licked and nibbled at her folds, the gasp as he plunged his tongue inside her, the sighs as he lightly swirled and teased her clit… they were all real. And the explosive nature of her orgasm when he finally made her come was perfectly natural and she may have been a little louder than usual.

When she opened her eyes and saw him, still kneeling on the floor, looking up at her, Brienne wanted to wrap him in her arms and cuddle him. How could he possibly be questioning whether what he’d just done was good for her? Because that’s exactly what she was seeing on his face. “It was incredible,” she said, still feeling the throbbing inside her as the orgasm faded. She knew he needed to hear it, but she really wished he already knew. It was such a stark contrast from the confident man who just drove her over the edge with his tongue. And it was also a reminder of how complicated Jaime was to understand. There was this shy side of him that just didn’t seem to believe in himself like he should have, but maybe he’d never had someone who made it clear to him what an amazing guy he really was. 

It wasn’t the time to play psychologist though, there were more pressing matters to take care of. Brienne scooted back a bit and lay down, then held out her hand to him. Jaime stood slowly and she couldn’t help but look at his beautiful, naked form, lingering on his dick long enough to almost make him blush. “You must know how beautiful you are,” She said. It was somewhere between a comment and a question, but it didn’t need to be answered.

He set a knee on the bed and Brienne moved her legs into position. They could have tried something new or different, but the first time was so good, why change it up so soon? When they were lined up he pushed into her slowly, almost as if he was scared of how he was going to react. Brienne reached up and put a hand on his chest to calm the wild look in his eyes. She needed him to know she understood. They were both reacting the same way, nervous that this time might not be as amazing. 

Brienne quickly realized that there was something very different about being with him that she absolutely loved - watching his reactions. The expression on his face when he was fully inside her was so exciting. It was bliss, but also wonder and something that looked like gratitude. It made her feel sexy that being with her was causing him to look so awestruck.

It was a strange and beautiful thing to be so focussed on the other person while having sex. She honestly didn’t care if she came a second time. She didn’t expect it. She didn’t need it. But when it happened she was still focussed on the way Jaime reacted to knowing he made her come again, than the actually physical pleasure of the orgasm itself. The was an adorable sense of pride at first, but a split second later he lost all control as her muscles started to contract on his dick. He could feel it, she knew immediately when he groaned. 

“Jesus,” he hissed under his breath. "I’m not gonna last much lo..." His words ended with a grunt as he shortened his strokes, shuddering with release. Brienne had never been so unsure whether to smile or cry so she did both, while she cradled him against her body. He was heavy on top of her but it didn't matter. They both needed the moment of comforting intimacy. Brienne stroked his back, caressed his muscular arms and played with his hair for a long time. She could feel him growing soft inside her, but she could still feel him there and that's all she needed.

Finally Jaime lifted himself off her and it was then that her damp blue eyes met his, just as damp, glistening. “It was… even better,” he whispered. 

“It was,” Brienne agreed. With that all the butterflies in her stomach were gone and she knew they would never be back. Once was great, twice was even better, there was no doubt the more comfortable they got the sex would only improve - and that though was incredibly exciting.


	17. Chapter 17

Jaime could still picture how happy she’d been when they started out on the trip 4 days earlier. Her face was bright, her eyes shining - it was just the two of them, headed out on the road together for a 4 day trip. Up until that very moment everything had been perfect - other than an awkward moment with a waitress he’d slept with a few times and a truck stop with no hot water to shower. It was a typical occurrence and Jaime had got used to taking quick, cold showers, but he felt bad for Brienne - even though she never complained. 

The waitress moment was incredibly uncomfortable for him, until he found out later than Brienne didn’t care. “She’s your past, I’m your future,” she’d said. But it certainly had given her something to tease him about for the next couple days. Jaime didn’t mind the teasing, he much preferred it to her being angry or upset about it. He wondered if it might bother her more when he went on his next run without her, but he had a feeling Brienne wasn’t the jealous type and he would do everything in his power to make sure she knew she could trust him. 

He’d wondered that before… but now he was just wondering if he would ever go on a run again. Or if she would go back home and never want to see him again. 

“Please,” Jaime pleaded. “You gotta let me talk to her. She’s probably scared… please?” He knew there were people on the other side of the two way mirror and he knew they could hear him, but yet again… no one answered. 

He wanted to rage, kick the table over, throw some chairs, pound against the mirror with his fists… but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. It would only make the situation worse. But how bad was it? He really had no clue. As far as he was concerned he hadn’t done anything wrong and he had no idea why he was even there. Jaime sunk into a chair and sighed. He thought back to the first night on the road, in the cab of his truck, when everything seemed so perfect… 

_“I could get used to this,” Brienne whispered, stretching out her naked body beside his. Jaime drew a hand up her side, feeling her smooth skin and the curve of her hip. He slipped his arm around her body and pulled her on top of him as he rolled. He loved feeling the weight of her body pressing down on him, but more importantly he loved feeling so much of her skin on his. She propped her elbows lightly on his chest and cupped her chin in her hands. Jaime adjusted the blanket over them. It could feel really cool at night, even though the temperatures were still pleasant. “I think I should just be your assistant and come with you all the time.”_

_Jaime chuckled. “I don’t pay well, but the job’s yours if you want it.”_

_“Mmm, you’re right the pay sucks, but the job perks are fantastic,” she sighed, raising herself up and pushing back on him. Jaime shifted just enough to help her slip his dick slowly into her pussy. He moaned as she started to move. Everything about making love to her was perfection. “So just how many women have you had back here?” she asked._

_Jaime closed his eyes to enjoy the feel of her riding him. “None… you’re the first.”_

_“Liar,” she giggled, playfully hitting his chest._

_He opened his eyes and touched her hips. “I’m not lying. Never had a woman back here before.” It was the truth. Anytime he’d slept with women on his travels he’d stayed in a hotel room for the night, often leaving long before they woke up. None of them meant a thing to him and Jaime knew he treated them all like shit. But it was just sex - they knew that going in. A burnt condom and a hotel room for the night was all they would get from him. Not once had he brought any of them into his space or felt more for them than just primal urges._

_“You’re serious?” Brienne whispered, stopping for a moment and touching his face. “All these years… and not one?” Jaime shook his head. Something in her eyes changed and the teased ceased. She believed him and she was touched. He realized she took it as a romantic gesture and he was happy because in the grand scheme of things it had been about her - everything was always about her…_

The door clicked open and a man popped his head inside. “Can I get you a drink or something to eat? Not sure how much longer we’re gonna be.” 

“No thanks,” Jaime replied politely. “I just want to see Brienne. Please can I talk to her?” 

The man shook his head, “Sorry. No can do. Not yet anyway.”

His blood boiled with frustration but he kept calm. If he lost it there was no way he was going to be able to reign his emotions back in. “Can you at least tell me if she’s okay? She’s probably scared.” 

“She’s fine,” the man nodded. “I promise you, she’s alright,” he added, his voice softer. With that he was gone and Jaime was alone with his thoughts again. 

_They were so damn close to home. The trip was almost over when 4 police cruisers appeared in his rearview mirror. “Wow, something big is going down,” he commented as he moved from the center lane to the right lane to get out of the way. “What the fuck…” he muttered as two of the cruisers pulled in behind him and the other two pulled up beside him. Jaime glanced over and saw the cop motioning at him to pull over._

_“What’s going on?” Brienne asked, looking nervous._

_“I haven’t a fucking clue,” he mumbled as he signalled and then slowly pulled over to the shoulder._

_“Jaime? What’s happening?” was the last thing she’d said to him before all hell broke loose. Cops swarmed them, their weapons drawn and the next thing Jaime knew he was face down on the pavement being frisked._

_“What’s going on?” he tried to ask, before his face was turned and pressed against the shoulder of the road. “Please… let her go… whatever this is she has nothing to do with it,” Jaime pleaded. His words fell on deaf ears even though he tried several times._

_He was cuffed and dragged to his feet. “What’s happening? Am I under arrest?” he asked, scanning the scene for Brienne. Finally he saw her in the back of one of the cop cars, her face filled with worry. “Hey… Hey,” he tried to pull away. “Let me talk to her… make sure she’s okay.”_

_“Enough,” the officer said sternly, shoving him towards another cruiser and roughly pushing him into the back._

_Jaime had no fucking clue what was happening, but he assumed it had to do with the extra job he’d just given up. Unless he’d been completely duped Jaime was sure they would find nothing in the truck. He’d loaded things himself and locked the back up right after. It hadn’t been opened since. Was that it? Or was something else going on? Jaime needed to talk to his boss, but the cops wouldn’t even respond to him, there was no way he was getting in a phone call._

_Everything felt like a blur and all he could think about was Brienne. He promised he would never hurt her, promised he would keep her safe… and one trip with him and she’s arrested and manhandled by rough police officers. She didn’t deserve it, none of it. They had to understand that she was completely innocent._

_He caught sight of her again as they were led into the station. “Brienne... Bri... “ he called out. She tried to turn but the officer leading her shoved her ahead and she turned back as she stumbled. “It’s gonna be okay, don’t be scared…” he called out. He knew she had to be terrified. She knew he’d been involved in some seedy shit previously and she was likely thinking they were both going down for his involvement._

_Jaime was put in a room with a two way mirror, a long table and a few chairs. The door slammed shut and for what felt like a week there was silence. He paced, he sat, he paced, he sat… until someone finally came in. The first thing they did was uncuff him and then the interrogation began. Every time there was a pause he tried to ask about Brienne, but they kept pushing on, asking questions about all the details of the trip - when they left, where they stayed each night, specific details of picking up the load, who had been there, who helped, and it went on and on and on. He answered truthfully - he had nothing to hide about this trip because he was clean._

_When they started to ask about other trips Jaime had to choose his words carefully. Somehow he was able to make it through all their questions without flat out lying. A few half truths and omissions, but no complete bold face lies. They still hadn’t read him his rights or arrested him and he wondered if he should even be answering their questions, but he did anyway, not wanting to prolong anything, hoping to get Brienne out of there sooner rather than later._

_What were they asking her? What was she replying? She knew he was involved in something, he’d been honest with her. Jaime hoped she didn’t have to lie for him. He would rather she let him go down and save herself. She deserved better than this kind of life._

The door opened again and the same man returned. “It’s your lucky day Lannister...you’re free to go.”

Jaime stood up. “You gonna tell me what this was all about now?” he asked gruffly. He wanted to get to Brienne, but he had to know what the hell was going on first. 

“We received a tip that you were involved smuggling drugs from the Mexican border up to Philly. Your truck was searched, you and Ms. Tarth were questioned… and we are satisfied our tip was incorrect,” the officer explained. 

“You put us through all of this because of an unjustified tip?” Jaime growled. 

“You have to understand our position Mr. Lannister… the drug problem in Philly is a huge and ever growing problem - we’re taking all tips seriously,” he replied, leading Jaime out of the room. “Officer Bently will take you and Ms. Tarth back to your truck. Take care sir.” 

“Sir,” Jaime grumbled under his breath. He wanted to tell the officer to go fuck himself. All this bullshit had been for nothing. There was a tip… Jaime would find out who tipped off the police. He had to. He had to get to the bottom of it because he refused to put Brienne in a position like this ever again. 

When he saw her he ran and pulled her into his arms. “Hey,” he whispered. “Are you okay?” Jaime was terrified she was going to be mad at him, maybe even push him away. 

He was relieved when she hugged him back. “I’m better now,” she replied, putting her head on his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jaime said, holding her tight. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew the officer was waiting to take them to the truck and he wanted to get Brienne safely away from all the bullshit as soon as possible. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” 

When they got to the truck it was a disaster. It took the two of them over an hour to get things back in good enough shape to get the trailer back to the depot. By the time they got there his boss was already gone for the day - so Jaime knew he would have to wait until the next morning to start getting answers. But there was one important thing he had to do first. 

“Come on,” he said to Brienne. “Let’s go pack up your stuff. I’m taking you home.” 

“What? Why? Nooooo,” she protested. “I’m fine. I promise. Please Jaime? Don’t make me leave… not this way.” 

He shook his head and was stubborn. It was hard for him to say no to her but her safety was the most important thing to him. “You’re staying away from here… away from me, until I figure out what the fuck happened today. I will not put you in danger like that again - Never,” he said sternly. 

“But it’s over now,” she said weakly. Brienne already knew he wasn’t giving in. 

“It’s not over until I find out why I was targeted,” Jaime replied. They gathered her belongings from his place and started the drive towards her place. Along the way they talked about different theories and possibilities. Jaime couldn’t shake the feeling that his boss was angry about him quitting the side business so he’d sent in the tip as punishment of some sort… but it didn’t make sense at all to involve the company and risk others getting caught. “I’ll call you tomorrow after I talk to him,” Jaime said. “Maybe I’ll know more by then.” 

“I don’t want you to leave… will you stay tonight?” Brienne asked, hugging him in the doorway. 

“I can’t,” Jaime said reluctantly. “I gotta get back and get started first thing in the morning.” He stroked her hair and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. “I’m gonna get to the station and get the first ticket back to Philly.” 

Brienne shook her head. “No, you’re gonna take the bike again.” She smiled at him, “It’s my only assurance you’ll come back to me one day.” 

“I’ll always come back to you,” he replied, kissing her lips. “It’s just gonna take some time.” Jaime hoped he was telling her the truth. Could he get this shit sorted out so him and Brienne could move on with their life together? Or would his past mistakes keep coming back to haunt him? He kissed her again and the next thing he knew she was pulling him inside and shutting the door. What would one last time before I leave hurt? Jaime thought. They didn’t make the bedroom because the living room couch was closer. He made love to her slowly, worshipped her body with kisses and tender touches. He wanted to make it clear to Brienne that all he wanted was to make her happy, to make her feel good. 

It didn’t make it any easier to leave tangled up with her on the couch afterwards. But Jaime forced himself to get up and get dressed. It was already late and he still had a long drive. “You better come back to me Lannister… I’m not waiting 10 years this time - I’ll come find you,” she warned. 

How was this perfect little woman his? And how had he managed to screw it up in less than a week? He didn’t reply with words, but instead gave her a long kiss. As Jaime headed out into the dark night on Brienne’s motorcycle he couldn’t help but wonder just how long it would be before he kissed those lips again?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh ready for a curve ball?!? Lol

A week and a half - 12 days to be specific. Jaime had been on two runs since the night he’d left Brienne at her house - one was the same route he’d been on with her and the other was a shorter 3 day run that he took just to keep himself busy so he wouldn’t sit at home and wish he was with her - or even worse… he wouldn’t get the urge to drive towards Pittsburgh and see her. All he could think about was how good it felt to kiss her… to touch her body… to feel her hands all over him. They talked on the phone, every single day, and it was good to hear her voice, but he wanted to see her and hold her so bad it made his body ache. 

But the morning of the 13th day he finally got some news. His cell rang at 7:30 A.M. “Hey, can you come in? Got something to tell you about,” his boss said. Jaime said he would be right there and 30 minutes later he was walking into the office. “So, that P.I. I hired to look into things finally got a lead last night.” Jaime perked up immediately. Could they have finally found out who tipped off the cops? “Danny got pulled over the other day too - searched. Luckily we put a hold on things… until we could get this sorted out.” Jaime actually felt relieved that he was no longer the only one who’d been searched. Before it had felt extremely personal, but now he felt like it was more to do with the business than him. 

“Anyway,” his boss continued. “Turns out the drug wars in Philly are heating up… think it’s time for us to get out completely,” he sighed. Jaime knew his boss had been in the business for a long, long time. Even though it was the right thing to do, it had to be difficult to give up not only the money but the way of life. “One of Tendo’s rival drug lords paid off some Joe Schmo to tip off the police. It must have just been bad timing on your part J… I’m sorry your girl was involved.” 

Jaime was filled with a strange sense of relief. It should have been nerve wracking that he was involved in any way in drug wars… but he was so relieved he wasn’t being targeted personally because that meant he could see Brienne again and it wasn’t putting her in danger. It was just icing on the cake that the company he worked for was very likely going clean from then on. Once things settled he might even be able to take her on a run again. 

“Thanks for sorting this out,” Jaime said. When he came to his boss with the news the day after it happened he had swore he would find out what was going on. Back then they both thought it was someone out to get Jaime specifically and had nothing to do with the company, and even then his boss paid the money to hire an investigator. 

“You know I got your back, always. Hey, take a few days off. Go spend some time with that pretty lady okay?” Jaime thanked him and left. It was going to take everything he had not to just head straight for her house without even going home first. But he hadn’t showered and he needed clothes in case he stayed with her for a few days. 

He was smiling and singing along to the radio the entire ride home. A huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he couldn’t wait to get home and call Brienne with the good news. When Jaime pulled into his driveway his blood ran cold. There was a car in his driveway. A police cruiser to be exact. It was a cruiser from out of zone… and there was an officer leaning against it. A month ago Jaime would have been thrilled with the surprise visit. But so much had changed and now the visit was not only unwelcome, but very much a nuisance. 

“Ned,” Jaime said stepping out of his car. “What do you want?” he sighed. He’d finally got good news and before he could even have a moment to celebrate there was a big ol roadblock in the way. 

“We need to talk,” he said seriously. “Can I come in?” 

“If I say no, you gonna leave?” Jaime asked. 

“Nah,” Ned shook his head. “Not until we talk. It’s important.” 

“Fine. Come in then. Let’s get this over with,” Jaime grumbled. He had no idea what Ned wanted to talk about and he really didn’t care. He just wanted to let him say what he needed to say so he could hit the road and get to Bri. As soon as they were inside the door Jaime turned. “Okay, what’s up?” 

Ned hesitated. Finally he set his jaw stubbornly and spoke. “There’s something you need to know… something I found out yesterday…”

**The Previous Day**

“You’ve got half an hour,” Brienne snapped. “Get your shit and get out. Anything left after this… I’m throwing out.” 

Ned nodded. She was so angry at him he could almost feel the daggers she was shooting hitting his body. He knew he deserved it, as far as she was concerned. She couldn’t see that everything he’d done was for her. She couldn’t understand that all he’d ever wanted was to protect her and for her to be happy. His whole life he’d known he wanted to be a cop because it was in his nature to keep people safe. He’d always kept Brienne safe and he couldn’t help but want to continue - even then, because it was all he’d known for so long. 

He was happy with Catelyn. He loved her and he knew she was the one. But it was hard not to miss Brienne deeply because she’d been an integral part of his life - his whole life. He had asked to come over and look for a couple things he was missing.. Not because he really cared or needed them back, but because he was hoping she would be there and they might get a chance to talk. But as the door slammed behind her it was evident that wasn’t happening. 

With a deep sigh Ned started to wander through the house. There were so many memories. Good memories. Him and Brienne had been happy. He could have ignored the way he felt for Catelyn, married Brienne, and they would have still been happy. Ned knew he’d traded in good for better but in the process he’d shredded not only his relationship with Brienne - but also with his best friend. Jaime would never forgive him and Brienne surely wouldn’t either. He was stubborn and she was even worse. 

Ned saw a few things of his in the living room and put them in the cloth grocery bag he’d brought. There really wasn’t much because she’d already given him a huge box of things. He’d lied and said he was missing a watch. It wasn’t true, the watch was in his desk at work. So why was he searching through the bathroom drawers looking for something that wasn’t even missing? Even when he realized he was being foolish Ned still opened the medicine cabinet. Nope, no watch. Of course there’s no watch, you idiot, he thought. Before he closed the glass something caught his eye. “What the fuck…” he whispered, picking it up. “This can’t be right…”

**Back to the Present**

“She’s pregnant Jaime,” Ned said. 

Jaime heard him. He heard him loud and clear. Yet he still needed to hear it again for it to sink in. “What?” 

“She’s pregnant. I was looking through the house yesterday - getting the rest of my things and I found a test in the bathroom. It was positive… Brienne is pregnant,” Ned finished. 

Jaime had to sit down. He couldn’t think straight. Everything was all jumbled and tangled in his mind. “I haven’t even seen her in almost 2 weeks…” Jaime mumbled. 

“Good,” Ned said sharply. Jaime glared at him. “I mean… I think it’s for the best if you just stay away. Let me help her take care of our child.” 

“Your child?” Jaime repeated. “You think… you think it’s yours?” 

“Of course it’s mine,” Ned snapped. “You just said you haven’t seen her in almost two weeks. Doesn’t sound like a solid relationship to me,” he added snarkily. “Just back away Jaime, let me look after her and make sure this baby has a good life… a safe life…” 

“I can keep her safe,” Jaime snapped, standing up. “I can keep them both safe. Why do you think I haven’t seen her in so long?” He growled. “I was protecting her.”

“From what?” Ned asked smugly. 

Jaime sighed. He didn’t want to tell Ned the truth. He didn’t want to give him more ammo. But he’d always told Ned everything and before he could stop himself the words were coming out. “Went on a run couple weeks ago and on the way home the cops stopped me… it was ugly… she was so scared…” 

“Wait,” Ned interrupted. “Brienne? Brienne was with you?” 

Jaime paused and looked at him curiously. “Yeah…” he said hesitantly. “She wanted to come.”

“Why the hell would you take her? You were smuggling drugs from the mexican border,” Ned seethed. “Why would you risk her going down with you?”

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you?” Jaime growled, getting in his face. “I’m not doing that shit anymore.” Ned started pacing, muttering something Jaime couldn’t make out. “The fuck is wrong with you?” Jaime snapped. 

Ned stopped and looked at him. “I didn’t know she was with you. I didn’t know she was pregnant… I didn’t know…” His voice trailed off. 

The look in Ned’s eyes, the emotion etched on his face, the sound of his voice… it all combined together and resulted in intense rage bubbling up inside of Jaime. “You stupid motherfucker,” Jaime whispered. He drew back and then swung, as hard as he could. His fist connected with the side of Ned’s face with a sickening crunch. Jaime didn’t even feel the pain in his hand as he watched Ned crumple to the floor. 

**Two Days Earlier**

With a shaking hand Brienne held the stick between her legs and tried to pee. Her legs started to shake before she could make herself go. “Why is this so damn difficult,” she grumbled. She stood up for a moment, rested her legs and then tried again. This time it worked and she hoped she was hitting the stupid stick. “Phew,” she sighed with relief when she realized she’d done it. 

Brienne put the lid back on and set the pregnancy test down on the counter. She checked the time, wiped and pulled up her pants and then washed her hands, trying to ignore it for a full minute. “Oh God…” she whispered when she picked up the white stick. Two pink lines. 

She quickly put the test in the medicine cabinet, then leaned over the toilet… and puked.


	19. Chapter 19

“If you open your mouth before I’m finished I will knock you out again,” Jaime warned the second Ned groaned and opened his eyes. He held up his hands in surrender and nodded. Ned sat up and leaned his back against the couch. He’d only been out a few minutes but somehow Jaime had calmed himself enough to speak in that short amount of time. “I am willing to believe that you didn’t know Brienne was with me. And I do believe you think you’re protecting her… so there’s a part of me that can’t help but appreciate that in some fucked up way you do truly care about her. But dude… you gotta stop this bullshit. You ain’t protecting her - you’re controlling her and she’s not yours to control.” 

Ned sighed and went to speak but Jaime stopped him. “I’m not done yet… There’s one thing that I need to make clear right now - perfectly fucking clear,” Jaime snarled. “Even if that baby is yours… I’m not backing off. As long as Brienne will have me I will be with her and that means I’ll be part of that kid’s life.” 

“It’s mine Jaime, it’s gotta be mine... You need to accept that,” Ned said gently. It didn’t matter how nicely he said it or whether his intentions were good - just the notion, coming from Ned’s mouth, that the child wasn’t Jaime’s made him want to punch Ned again. He made tight fists with both hands and tried to calm himself down. Jaime knew deep inside that the baby was Ned’s. But he wasn’t ready to give Ned the satisfaction of admitting it. 

“If,” Jaime repeated. “It’s ‘if’ until we know for sure,” he said icily. The way these words were coming out of his mouth with such anger and venom - he’d never spoken to Ned like that before. He’d never needed to. Ned had been his best friend since they were boys and it was so hard to understand how they had got to this point. The only thing he knew was that it was completely Ned’s fault and Jaime felt like he didn’t know the man at all. Had I ever known him? Jaime wondered sadly. “Are you gonna tell Brienne that you know?” he asked. 

“I don’t know,” Ned sighed. “I don’t want to upset her more than I already have… she’ll be pissed off that I saw the test… But she knew I was going through the house looking for stuff,” he shrugged. “Maybe I’ll give her some more time… don’t even really know how long ago she took it.” 

Jaime hadn’t considered that. He’d immediately assumed she had just taken the test. She wouldn’t have started a relationship with him if she already knew she was pregnant with Ned’s child would she? No, he trusted Brienne and he was sure it had to have been done in the last couple of weeks at the most. “It’s recent,” Jaime said. Ned gave him a look. “It is. I trust her,” he insisted. Ned didn’t reply and Jaime knew he wasn’t convinced. “You should go, I got shit to do,” he said after a moment of silence. “You okay to drive?” Despite his anger towards Ned he certainly didn’t want him to get in an accident or anything. 

Ned got to his feet. “Yep, I’m good.” He started to walk towards the door. There really wasn’t much more he could say. 

But there was one more thing Jaime needed to know. “Why?” he asked to Ned’s back. “You think I’m that bad for her? You think I deserve to be in jail?” 

Ned turned to look at him. “You said you weren’t doing it anymore… I just wanted to make sure you were telling the truth.” 

“And if I wasn’t you were okay with me ending up in prison?” Jaime asked. 

Ned nodded, “If it kept her safe, yeah, I guess I was.” Once again Jaime was caught between anger and admiration. He couldn’t let go of the fact that Ned was fine with him going to prison. But he was still thankful of the lengths the man would go to keep Brienne safe - and her being safe and happy was the only thing that mattered. 

As soon as Ned was gone Jaime picked up the phone and dialed her number. His heart was racing. Before he’d found out about the pregnancy he was certain he was calling her with amazing news. But now everything was different. It wasn’t the rival drug gang after all… it was Ned- should he tell her the truth about that? And what if the pregnancy changed things? What if she no longer wanted to be in a relationship? What if it changed the way she felt about him? And was he supposed to be honest and tell her he knows? Or should he wait and let her tell him when she’s ready? The phone started to ring and even after two rings Jaime still had no idea what he was going to say....

BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE 

What am I doing here? Brienne wondered as she walked up to the house. There were vehicles in the drive so she knew he was home. Sometimes she was just too damn impulsive and it could land her in hot water, but when she’d decided that morning she was going to pay him a visit it had seemed like a great idea. But right then, with her heart pounding in her chest and not a fucking clue what she was going to say, it was taking all she had to not run back to her car and speed away. 

With a deep breath she took the last few steps to the front door and knocked. “Go away,” a voice yelled from inside. “I’m not buying anything.” 

Brienne sighed and knocked again. She heard the loud stomps as he approached and heard his voice as he started to open the door. “What the fuck are you? A jehova or something? Take a hike… I don’t believe in God.” He pulled the door wide open and looked at her. Slowly a grin spread across his face. “But you sweet thang, you might just make a believer out of me. Damn…” Brienne could feel his eyes ogling her body and she crossed her arms. Yep, Tyrion was every bit the big pervert in a little package that she’d heard he was. 

“I’m not a Jehova and I’m not selling anything,” Brienne said. 

“Oh good, because I don’t really have no money to spare… and I’m really no fan of God,” he added with a whisper, as if the God he didn’t believe in might hear him and strike him down. “So whaddya want? Did you hear about what a good fuck I am and come to confirm? Or did you want proof that a man’s cock size has nothing to do with his height?” Brienne was now absolutely sure the little man was drunk. 

“Um… no,” she replied, rolling her eyes at him. In their short conversation she had already learned that Tyrion would say just about anything, but she could tell he wasn’t the evil snake she’d expected. He likely did mean everything he said, but there was nothing threatening or vicious about him. 

“Okay, okay, I give up, who are you?” he asked, cocking his head to the side, looking up at her. 

“I’m.. uh… well…” she stammered. “I guess I’m your brother’s girlfriend.” 

“You guess?” Tyrion chuckled. “Does Jaime know?” 

Brienne surprised herself again when she laughed too. “Yes he knows. It’s new… that’s all,” she said, explaining her bumbling response. 

“Hmm. So… why exactly are you here?” he asked. “You want a shot with the other brother? Because I’m always willing…” Tyrion was being a pervert, yet Brienne still found herself smiling. It was flattering to be flirted with so openly like that. 

“As tempting as that is…” she started. “I just came to talk.” 

“Aw man…” he groaned. “Typical woman,” Tyrion said, opening the door to let her in. “Just wants to talk.” Brienne stepped inside. She knew the layout of the house, but waited for his lead. “Want a beer or something?” he asked, heading to the kitchen. 

“Maybe a glass of water,” she replied. It was way too early to drink, even if she had wanted one. Thought apparently time meant nothing to Tyrion. 

“Suit yourself,” he replied, pulling a water and a beer out of the fridge. Tyrion handed her the bottle of water and opened his beer, then waddled to the table. “Listen, if my brother did something stupid…” 

“It’s not that,” Brienne interrupted. “I just, well… I just thought maybe we should get to know each other.” 

Tyrion narrowed his eyes. “Nahhhh, that’s not it. You have questions and you don’t want to ask him.” Brienne opened her mouth to protest but closed it without a word. How the hell could he read her so easily? In that moment she also learned that Tyrion was a lot smarter than she gave him credit for. He grinned, “Don’t look so shocked, it’s what I do - I drink and I know things.” Tyrion eyed her a moment and then spoke again, “What did you say your name was?” 

“I didn’t say… but, it’s Brienne,” she replied. 

Tyrion’s eyes widened. “You’re shitting me… the Brienne?” Why did everyone she met react like that lately? “You’re the one that he’s pined after since he was a kid?” 

“Um, yeah… I just learned that recently myself,” she muttered. 

“Jesus… and you two are together now? How…?” He looked very confused so Brienne quickly filled him in on Ned, Catelyn, the cancelled wedding and how her and Jaime had finally hooked up. “Wow,” Tyrion breathed. He stood up and went for another beer. “Do you have any idea what you did to him?” She had a bit of an idea, but part of the reason she’d wanted to come was to find out exactly that, so she shook her head. “He wouldn’t even look at another girl for the longest time. I kept bugging him to get out there, get laid a few times… told him he just needed a good fuck,” Tyrion chuckled. “I even bought him a hooker for his 18th birthday… but well, let’s just say I got my money’s worth and Jaime was still a virgin.” 

Brienne was surprised. Thinking back she would have had no idea that Jaime wasn’t with other girls. She hadn’t paid that much attention, but any time she saw him talking to another girl she immediately assumed, the bad boy that he was, that he was fucking them. This certainly was an interesting development. But it made her sad that she’d affected him in that way without even knowing it. 

For the next 15 minutes Tyrion told her all sorts of stories about Jaime. Some made her laugh and some made her want to cry, but the one thing she learned was that Tyrion really loved his big brother. 

Just as he was about to start into another story she was struck with a vicious bout of nausea. “Oh God…” Brienne jumped up and ran for the bathroom. She made it just in time to vomit into the toilet. 

Tyrion evidently followed her as she heard him speak from the door. “Holy fuck… you’re knocked up aren’t you?” Brienne lifted her head, fighting off the urge to puke again and looked at him. Very slowly she nodded. She really didn’t need to confirm because he already knew. He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe as she turned and threw up again. “Is it his? The baby… is it Jaime’s?” Brienne looked up at him again and though she vowed she wasn’t going to keep doing it - she started to cry.


	20. Chapter 20

When Brienne pulled into the driveway and saw Jaime waiting for her she wanted to scream with excitement. It felt like forever since they had been together and the only way he would be there is if he had good news. She immediately felt guilty for not taking her cell with her that morning. After her visit with Tyrion she went by one of her volunteer jobs and stayed a couple of hours there. 

She parked behind him, jumped out of the car and ran into his waiting arms. “I tried to call,” he mumbled into her hair as they hugged. 

“I’m sorry,” Brienne said, giving him an apologetic look. “I left my phone here and by the time I realized it I was too far to turn back.” 

“It’s fine,” Jaime said before placing a kiss on her forehead. It felt so good to be in his arms again, to have his lips touching her skin, and to hear his voice in person. “I have news…” 

“Good news, right?” She replied, smiling at him. Her smile faded when she saw the look on his face. 

“It’s good and bad,” he said, sighing. “Let’s go in and talk, there are some things you need to know.” 

Brienne felt her heart hammer in her chest. Her excitement was wiped away almost entirely, his hand in hers was the only saving grace. She had something pretty damn significant she needed to tell him too, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to risk losing him. She didn’t even know if Jaime liked kids - it wasn’t something they had ever talked about. When he found out she was pregnant he might never come back again. “Hey,” she tugged his hand to stop him when they got inside. “How bad is the bad part?” 

“It’s pretty bad,” Jaime replied gravely. 

Brienne nodded. “Then there’s something I want to do first…” She reached for his face and kissed him. Jaime reacted instantly and slipped an arm easily around her waist. She parted her lips and their tongues met - just like every time before it made her weak in the knees and she leaned into him to keep herself steady. Why was kissing him so erotic and sexy? It was just a kiss but it felt like so much more. 

The look on his face when she tugged his hand again and led him towards the stairs told her that Jaime thought he was getting away with only a kiss. “Come on,” she said, giving him another pull. 

“You sure?” He asked, still hesitant. 

What the heck is up with that? She wondered. Brienne chalked it up to the fact that Jaime likely assumed she would want to get the news out of the way. But what she really wanted was for him to make love to her and to forget about everything but the two of them. Maybe she was being totally selfish, but if she was going to risk possibly losing him with the bombshell she was about to spill… she wanted one more time with him first. 

By the time they made it up the stairs he was thoroughly on board with her plan and kissed her hungrily. Jaime was lavishing her neck with his tongue while Brienne attempted to get off any clothing she could. It made her smile that he could barely stop touching her body long enough for them to get undressed, frustrated with even losing contact for a split second. She loved the look in his eye when they were intimate. He looked at her like he was craving everything about her and could never get enough. He made her feel beautiful and desired, which only heightened her own arousal that was already over the top. Jaime was so sexy. It was so much more than just his hot body, those intense eyes, and his smiles - he just had no clue how delicious he really was and it made him even more adorable. 

When their clothes were finally off Jaime picked her up, so gently, and moved to the bed. He set her down and what came next was… well, odd, but incredibly erotic. Everything Jaime did was so slow, soft and delicate. He was treating her body like it was fragile and he might break her if he was too rough. The touches were like feathers sweeping over her skin and the kisses he placed all over her were light whispers caressing her body. When he finally slipped inside her it was excruciatingly slow. Brienne watched his face and she knew the restraint wasn’t easy for him either, but the result… the feeling of each and every inch of him moving into her so slowly… it was worth it. 

When Jaime started to fuck her it was only slow and deep. He would just barely pull out and then push back inside as far as their bodies would allow. Over and over again until they were both panting with desire. Brienne could have swore that each time he moved into her he was going just a little deeper, moving her closer and closer to the edge with each stroke. He never sped up, not once, not even when she came and her pussy started to throb on his dick. The patience he demonstrated was amazing. 

Brienne finally opened her eyes and she watched him, studying his face while he fucked her. He met her eye and held it. She could see the change as he neared the edge. She could see how badly he wanted to close his eyes and just feel everything that his body was experiencing, but he didn’t. He kept his eyes open the entire time, even as he came, his mouth gaped open, and he gasped lightly but he didn’t look away. Jaime shared everything with her and it was so special. In that moment she couldn’t imagine there was anything, even the major news that she had to tell him, that could break them apart. 

She tried to hold on to that feeling and keep her nerves calm as they put their clothes back on and went to the kitchen to talk. “Hey, where were you?” Jaime asked as they sat down. 

“You’re not gonna believe this…” she replied, while making coffee. “I was uh… I was with your brother.” 

“What?” Jaime stared at her in shock. “Oh god… what did he say? Did he do anything…” 

“No, no, relax,” she assured him. “He was a perfect, only slightly perverted, gentleman,” Brienne laughed. “Really,” she added trying to get the look of disbelief off Jaime’s face. “It went well. He’s funny… and, well... I like him.” 

“Well he can be extremely charming” Jaime said, still looking a bit unsure. “Wait, why were you there anyway?” 

Brienne shrugged and was somewhat honest. “I was missing you… and I thought maybe it was time to get to know your family a bit. I thought it might make me feel closer to you,” she said, giving him a little smile. 

“And how did that work out for you?” he asked sarcastically. 

“I had a nice time and I came home and here you were here… waiting for me, so I say it worked out really well,” she said sweetly. She sat down with their coffees and looked at Jaime, letting him know it was time and she was ready. 

“Good news first or the bad news?” he asked. 

“Let’s start with the good,” Brienne replied, taking a shaky breath. 

Jaime nodded. “Well, I found out who set me up. It’s over now. It’s not going to be a problem again. That’s why I’m here - no more danger,” he gave her a reassuring smile. 

“Oh thank God,” Brienne sighed. She had known that part already because like he’d said, that’s why he was there and she knew he wouldn’t be there if there was still danger. But still, the relief she felt hearing it from him was incredible. She couldn’t enjoy the relief long though because there was more news. “Okay just tell me, tell me the rest.” 

Jaime took a long deep breath and began. “My boss called me into work today. He told me the guy they hired figured it out. Another driver was stopped like us and searched. Turned out it was a tip from a rival drug gang.” Brienne wasn’t following how this was bad news for them, but he clearly wasn’t finished, so she kept listening. “So I thought it was over. He said the company was getting out of the business for a while, running clean until things settled down again.”

“I’m not hearing any bad news…” Brienne interrupted. 

“I’m getting there,” he replied, giving her a look. “So I left work and drove home to call you and tell you I was coming to visit, but when I got home someone was waiting for me.” Brienne had no idea who he was talking about, but realized she should have as soon as he spoke the name. “Ned.” 

“What the fuck was he doing there?” She seethed. 

Jaime didn’t answer her question, but he did continue. “Turns out there was another anonymous tipper before the drug gang got involved…” 

“No,” she gasped, feeling anger bubbling up inside her. Ned had done so many shitty things already, how could he hurt her yet again? “Please tell me you’re not serious?” 

“To be fair…” Jaime started. 

“No,” she snapped. “He doesn’t get fair. He doesn’t deserve fair.” 

He gave her a look of understanding, but continued with his statement. “He had no idea you were with me. When I told him he was really upset.” 

“I don’t fucking care,” Brienne growled. “I’m going to find him. I’m gonna…I’m gonna…” she stammered. She had no idea what she was going to do to Ned, but the thought of cutting his balls off felt like a really good option. 

“I already gave him a good shot to the face,” Jaime said. “Knocked him out cold actually.” He looked proud of himself and Brienne allowed herself a little smile. 

“He can’t keep doing this,” Brienne sighed. “He can’t keep interfering with our lives over and over again.” 

“I know,” Jaime reached over to hold her hand. “But I think this time he knows that. I hope anyway.” 

“Why aren’t you mad?” she asked softly. Jaime seemed so much more calm than she would have expected. 

“I’ve had a lot more time to think and process it all,” he explained. “I was mad, obviously, damn near broke my hand on his hard head. But… I… well, Ned and I have one thing in common - we want to protect you and keep you safe…” 

“Don’t,” Brienne said, stopping him. “Don’t compare yourself to him. He’s selfish and disgusting and…” 

“And he’s the father of your baby,” Jaime finished. 

Brienne gasped in shock. Jaime knew? How did he know? “Wha… what?” 

“That’s why Ned came to see me in the first place. Said he found the pregnancy test when he was here looking for something,” Jaime explained. The look on his face was pure torture and she realized something important - Jaime wasn’t going to leave her because she was pregnant, or because he didn’t want kids. No, that wasn’t the problem at all. The problem was that Jaime wanted the baby, he wanted it badly - he wanted it to be his. “It’s true right?” he asked. “You’re pregnant? With Ned’s baby?” 

Brienne felt her eyes well up with tears, yet again, she blamed it on hormones because no matter how hard she fought them off she couldn’t stop them completely anymore. It was so frustrating how she couldn’t control her emotions. She nodded slowly, gripping his hand tight so he wouldn’t pull away. “Yes,” she whispered. “It’s true…” With those three words she couldn’t hold his hand any longer as he quickly yanked it away.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to do my best to keep posting a new chapter each day, but if for some reason I don't post for a couple of days please forgive me. I've kinda reached my breaking point with my mom being sick and all the stress that comes with it. Posting chapters and reading your comments has been very therapeutic though, so I'm really hoping I can continue to find the time to get them up. Thank you guys for putting a smile on my face with your kind words and enthusiasm. All the best.

Holy shit men could be so damn dramatic sometimes, mostly because they just didn’t listen or freaked the fuck out before they got all the facts. “Jaime… Jaime,” she snapped. “Would you take a breath and listen to me for a second?” His chest was heaving and he actually looked like he was going to throw up. “I said it’s true..”

“I fucking heard that part,” he growled. 

“But I didn’t say which part,” she added quickly, making sure she used a tone that would keep his attention as she stood up. “Yes, it’s true I’m pregnant,” Brienne said. “But it’s not Ned’s.” 

The shock on his face was immediate. “What? It’s not?” he gasped. But strangely the relief she was expecting didn’t follow. “Well then, whose is it?” Jaime asked, looking rather mortified. 

Brienne rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, it’s yours you dumbass.” 

“It’s mine…” he said slowly. “The baby… is mine?” Jaime looked at her for confirmation. 

“Yes,” she replied, placing a hand on her tummy. “It’s definitely yours. Without a doubt.” 

“But… but… how?” he whispered, looking at her with tears in his eyes. 

Brienne took a step towards him and smiled. “I’m pretty sure you know how that works,” she teased. She moved closer and stood in front of him. From his seated position Jaime wrapped his arms around her waist and lay his head against her belly. “I know it’s not Ned’s because… well… I didn’t tell him, but I was on the pill for the last 8 months. I didn’t want to risk getting pregnant and my dress not fitting,” she admitted. She stroked his hair gently and then kissed the top of his head. “When everything happened… I missed a few days of taking my pill… I started them again, but everything was already out of whack… guess they weren’t effective anymore.” Brienne knew if you miss even one day it can greatly reduce the effectiveness and she’d missed 3 days in a row. 

“So this is real?” Jaime said, drawing back to look up at her. He touched her tummy. “There’s really a baby in there? And he or she… is mine?” He was still crying and the next thing she knew she was crying right along with him. All she could do was nod at that point. “I don’t get good things…” 

“Shh,” Brienne cut him off. “It’s not your fault. We could have had this a long time ago if not for…” 

“Don’t,” Jaime said. “Don’t say his name right now. Let’s just enjoy this for a while first, okay?” 

Brienne dropped to her knees and hugged him. “Okay,” she whispered in his ear as he hugged her back. And then, at the most horrible possible time her morning sickness struck again. “Oh no,” she muttered, jumping to her feet. Brienne sprinted for the bathroom and somehow she got lucky again and made it. 

“Bri? Bri? Are you okay?” Jaime flew in behind her. “Oh shit… fuck… what can I do?” She could hear the panic in his voice and would have laughed if she wasn’t still barfing. 

“Just get me a wet washcloth,” she got out, pointing at the cupboard in front of him. 

“What’s wrong? Should we go to the doctor?” he asked, handing her the cloth. 

Brienne wiped her face and leaned back against the wall from her seated position on the floor. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Just bad morning sickness right now.” 

“Morning sickness… oh… right,” Jaime let out a sigh of relief. He plopped down beside her. “You’re a louder puker than I would have guessed,” he teased. 

“Shut up,” she muttered, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

He chuckled. “But hey, if anyone could be considered a cute puker it’s you babe.” 

Despite feeling like crap she giggled. “I love you Jaime Lannister.” 

He kissed her temple, “I love you too.” 

Brienne sighed. “Can you take me to bed?” she asked, feeling absolutely exhausted. 

“Uh… are you sure you’re up to that right now?” He gave her a strange look. 

“No, no, not that,” Brienne shook her head with a little smile. For once sex was the last thing on her mind. “I need to sleep for a bit. I heard women say how tired they were in the first trimester, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.” 

“Oh, yeah… of course.” Jaime got to his feet and then offered her a hand. Once she was on her feet he quickly scooped her into his arms. She could have walked, but she didn’t protest at all, she just laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She must have drifted off immediately because the next thing she knew Jaime was putting her in bed in her room. He tucked her in and went to leave. 

“Hey, can you… stay for a bit?” Brienne asked. She didn’t know why she was feeling so clingy, but she didn’t want to be away from him right then. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired anyway,” he shrugged, kicking off his shoes to climb in with her. They had just been there a little while earlier, but for a much different purpose. Now he was holding her again, but they were both fully clothed and ready to sleep. Jaime slid over to her and pulled her close. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered in her ear. She couldn’t even get out a response before she was asleep. 

When Brienne woke sometime later she had no idea how long she’d been sleeping, and she felt way too dozy and comfortable to get up just yet. Without moving she took stock of her surroundings and sleepily smiled. Jaime was still holding her, like he’d been when she went to sleep, but he’d worked his hand inside her shirt, then just inside her waistband so his fingers were spread over her tummy protectively. It seemed so ridiculous that she’d thought he might leave her when he found out she was pregnant. But when he thought the baby was Ned’s it was different… though at that point, Brienne was still fairly certain he would have stayed. The one thing she didn’t doubt, and never would, was how much Jaime loved her. 

He was going to make an amazing dad. She knew he already loved the little fetus growing in her belly just as much as she did and he’d only known for… She glanced at the clock and was shocked, 3 hours. She couldn’t believe she’d napped that long. Jaime stirred slightly and his fingers moved just a little lower. Brienne felt a stirring inside her. They already had sex when he first arrived, but she just couldn’t get enough of him. The intensity with which she craved him while they were separated was honestly ridiculous. She was never one to get herself off very often, but missing Jaime she’d been taking care of her urges almost every night… and sometimes during the day. Brienne blushed at the thought and blamed it on the pregnancy hormones. 

Pregnancy hormones, or not… she was practically squirming, wishing Jaime would move his hand lower. Maybe if she… Brienne carefully undid her button and zipper on her jeans, allowing his hand more freedom and then she slowly moved her body up higher until the tips of his fingers were just brushing her slit. Then she elbowed him, not hard, but enough to wake him. “Hmm,” he grunted. Thankfully he didn’t pull his hand away in surprise and it didn’t take long for him to realize what he was touching. He rubbed her mound lightly and Brienne sighed. “You want this?” he asked huskily in her ear. She nodded and moaned as he rubbed her again, this time letting one of his fingers probe her, just slightly. 

Brienne was shocked at how full on her hormones were raging at that point. She was certainly going to make Jaime’s job easy she realized. She could have asked him to fuck her, but he seemed content to just play with her pussy and she was too lost in how good it felt to ask for anything different. 

“Oh God,” she gasped, squeezing her eyes closed as he gently slipped a finger inside her, then added another. He fucked her slowly with his hand and Brienne soon found herself moving her hips with the rhythm he’d set. She whimpered with pleasure as he drew out his fingers and moved to her clit, drawing slick moisture to her nub. He rubbed her gently a few times and then moved back inside her once again. With only a few times through the same pattern Brienne felt herself getting close. The next time he moved to her swollen clit she begged, “Don’t stop this time.” He stayed, rubbing slowly to start and then quicker. Brienne was panting and she felt her entire body stiffen… she was so close. 

Finally her body jolted and the orgasm hit her. She felt Jaime move his fingers back inside her pussy again as the contractions started. Her heart was beating wildly, though her body itself felt completely relaxed. “God that feels good,” he whispered. 

Brienne opened her eyes and looked at him. “Bet it would feel even better for your dick,” she said saucily. 

Jaime shook his head and grinned at her boldness. They both quickly got their pants off and with the last of her orgasm still making her pussy throb he pushed into her. It was good, better than good - it was great, incredible… so damn sexy… and by the time Jaime came she realized she was actually getting close to coming again herself, which was quite the shocking realization. This pregnancy sex thing might be the best thing ever, she thought with a little smile. 

They lay side by side in silence for a moment when finally Brienne spoke. “So Ned really thinks this baby is his, huh?” 

“Oh yeah,” Jaime replied. “He’s certain it is and tried really hard to convince me that it would be best if I backed off so he could raise the child… with you, of course.” 

“What?” She gasped, sitting up in bed. Just when she thought she couldn’t be any angrier at Ned her rage was elevated even more. 

“Well, I don’t think he meant get back together… just that it would be better without me around,” Jaime explained, propping up on his elbow. “But that was before I punched him,” he added with a grin. “I think he came around a bit after I told him I was raising this baby whether it was his or mine.” 

“You did?” She asked, feeling herself swell with joy. She’d been wrong, so wrong about Jaime. “I was so scared you would leave me when you found out.” 

“Fuck no,” he responded, sitting up too. “A baby… with you…” he blushed a bit. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He looked up at her. “I never believed I would have a family. I never wanted one with anyone else… and you were with Ned… so I just gave up on the idea.” He reached out and touched her face, “Thank you for giving me everything I’ve ever dreamed of,” he whispered. They kissed and he hugged her for a moment. 

“Soooo,” Brienne said, pulling back to give him a wicked grin. She had an idea brewing. “Ned really thinks this baby is his… he has no idea it’s yours… We could…” she bit her lip and looked at Jaime with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “We could have a little fun with this knowledge. Make him suffer a bit.” 

“I don’t know…” Jaime started. 

“Oh come on,” Brienne pouted. “Just a little. After everything he’s done to us.” 

Jaime looked nervous and finally he smiled. “Okay, maybe just a little. What do you have in mind?”


	22. Chapter 22

Brienne hemmed and hawed over various ways she could get back at Ned. She shared a couple ideas with Jaime that he shot down. Even though she pouted about it at the time, she realized later that they would have been a little too cruel - even though Ned deserved awful, evil things in her opinion. She just didn’t have it in her to hurt someone the way she’d been hurt. So she crossed off telling him it was Catelyn’s pregnancy test and she decided against telling him that the baby can’t be his because they had unprotected sex for a year and she never got pregnant - then suggesting he go see a proctologist about his sperm count. 

Jaime had laughed at the second suggestion but convinced her to go back to the drawing board. 2 cups of coffee later, decaf of course, she finally had the perfect plan. “I’m not going to tell him anything,” she blurted out. 

“Huh?” Jaime looked confused. He’d just sat through a hour of her coming up with crazy idea after crazy idea. “I think I’m missing something.” 

Brienne was really excited. “Think about it,” she started. She was talking really fast, buzzed from her brilliant plan. “Ned thinks this baby is his. He knows about it, but he doesn’t know that I know that he knows…” She thought for a moment making sure that all came out right. “He’s gonna be waiting for me to tell him. He’s gonna be anticipating it. He might even tell Cat so he can start to get excited about being a dad… So if I don’t say anything… if I make him wait… it’s gonna drive him absolutely bonkers. You know what he’s like,” Brienne said. 

“Huh…” Jaime said thoughtfully. “You’re right. This could be the worst possible punishment for him. He’s probably getting antsy already, sitting by the phone and waiting for you to call him,” Jaime snorted. 

“Exactly,” Brienne replied eagerly. “This will make him crazy, so crazy.” 

“Wait, what if he comes here? Or corners you and confronts you about it?” Jaime asked. “Will you lie? Or just tell him the truth then?” 

Brienne thought for a moment. He made a good point. She could lie and keep the ruse going, but she really wasn’t a fan of dishonestly, which was why a lot of her scenarios really wouldn’t have worked out anyway. But she really did want Ned to suffer for at least a few days because even just a few hours was gonna bug him. Finally something came to her. “You said you have some time off work?” she asked him. 

“Yeah,” Jaime nodded. “I’m missing the next run… so I have 6 days before I head out again.” 

“Perfect,” she replied with a smile. “We’re going on vacation.” 

“What?” Jaime looked at her with surprise. “I mean… I have some extra cash, but shouldn’t we save,” his eyes grew brighter. “With the baby coming.” 

It sounded so strange. Getting pregnant hadn’t been planned. If anything, she’d been planning to not get pregnant for a long time. But it was so sweet that Jaime was already thinking of their future and wanting to provide for his child. “Well, we’ll need a little money for food and stuff, but I had already booked a honeymoon package which they refunded a large portion of. Which means I have a travel voucher I can use towards airfare and accommodations… just sitting there… waiting…” She walked over to him and put her hands on his waist. “What do you say? Wanna go on a trip with me?” 

“You know I can’t say no to you,” he replied, bending his head to place a sweet kiss on her lips. “So, where are we going? And when do we leave?” 

Brienne already knew exactly where she wanted to go. Her honeymoon was going to be tropical, they had picked Costa Rica, but she didn’t want that kind of vacation. She didn’t even want to leave the country. But there was a place she had always wanted to go. “We’re going to the beach… sorta,” she said, loving the perplexed look on his face. “The beach, in the desert… West coast… the city that never sleeps… Sin City...” She kept giving hints until he finally clued it. 

“Vegas? Really?” he looked intrigued, but also shocked by her choice. 

“I tried to talk Ned into going so many times, but it’s not his kind of place,” Brienne grumbled. “And I was supposed to go with Cat, Mel and Roz a few years ago but I got the flu the day we were supposed to leave and had to cancel.” She snuggled in closer. “I can’t think of anyone else I would rather hit the strip with than you.” Jaime kissed the top of her head. “So, you wanna leave tonight?” 

“Woah,” he chuckled. “I didn’t really pack anything…” 

“We’ll make a quick trip to Wal-Mart,” she offered. “On the way to the airport.” 

“How do you even know there’s flights tonight?” he asked. 

“There are always flights from Pittsburgh,” she grinned. “And if we have to hang out in the airport for a while… it’s kinda a cool place to explore,” Brienne shrugged. She loved wandering around the busy airport, people watching, looking at planes taking off and landing. There were lots of shops and places to eat. 

 

“Okay, let’s do it,” Jaime said. “Let’s go - right now.” 

Brienne giggled, “Well I need to pack a few things first.” 

“Uh uh,” he said, taking her hand. “Grab your purse. If I have to buy what I need at WalMart so do you.” 

“Fair enough,” she replied. Brienne went and grabbed her purse, made sure she had her cell phone and charger and they were out the door. “I’m never impulsive,” she said as they hit the road. “But this is fun… exciting…” 

“You’ll get used to it with me,” Jaime replied. She realized he really was a fly by the seat of your pants kind of guy. So totally opposite of Ned. Once again, like the night they jumped on the train Jaime was making her feel so wild and free. 

“You’ve got a wild heart,” she said, looking at him with love and admiration. “It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful,” Brienne added, making him smile even bigger. “Oh hey,” she said, changing the subject. “Don’t forget to buy swim trunks, we’re staying at Mandalay Bay,” Brienne informed him.

“Which one is that?” he asked. 

“It’s the coolest hotel. The pool area is like you’re going to the beach with sand and everything. And the whole hotel is just gorgeous. That’s where I wanted to stay with the girls, but Cat wanted to stay at the MGM grand and we got a really good deal,” she explained. “Not that it mattered to me in the end,” she added bitterly. 

“Sounds perfect,” Jaime replied, reaching for her hand as he drove. 

Two hours later they were running. “You couldn’t have picked the next flight?” Jaime gasped as they bolted for Gate 17. 

“It… was… a… 4… hour… wait…” Brienne grunted. “We’ll be in Vegas before… that… flight… even… leaves…” 

“Should you be running like this?” he asked, looking at her with concern. 

Brienne would have rolled her eyes if everything wasn’t bouncing. Jaime had the carry on and her purse, all she had to do was jog. “I’m fine, promise. Look, we’re here.” 

“Boarding passes?” A woman asked, clearly waiting for the two of them. “You got lucky, they were shutting the doors in two minutes,” she said with a smile, directing them to the plane. “Have fun kids,” she said with a chuckle. 

The only seats left on the plane were in first class. Luckily her voucher from Costa Rica gave them lots of money for a cheaper trip like Vegas. Jaime looked like an excited child when they got seated. “We’re in first class,” he whispered. “I’ve never been on a plane before,” he added, examining everything he could reach. 

“You’ve never flown?” she asked in shock. Sure he must have flown as a kid from a rich family.

“Nope,” Jaime shook his head. “Seen lots of this country, but all by truck.” 

“You’ve been to Vegas before, haven’t you?” Brienne asked with a pout. 

Jaime clearly sensed her disappointment. “I’ve never been with a beautiful woman that I love,” he said in a sexy voice. 

“Oh my God… you’ve been with… call girls…. Haven’t you?” she said in a hushed whisper. Jaime looked like a deer in the headlights until she started to giggle. “Jaime, relax… you know I don’t care what you did in the past.” 

“Would you believe me if I said I hadn’t?” he asked sheepishly. “Well… I didn’t pay anyway…” 

Brienne shook her head. “With that handsome face…” she gushed. “I’m not surprised.” She gave him a flirty smile. “But that handsome face is all mine now.” 

“As long as you’ll have me,” Jaime replied. Damn, that sexy tone he used sometimes… it got her so hot. Brienne had to remind herself they were in public and she decided against kissing him because she was pretty sure if she did she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. But the second they got to the hotel she was taking him to bed… if she could stay awake long enough. Brienne yawned. Damn pregnancy was making her sleepy again. “Lean on me and close your eyes,” he said, reaching an arm around her. 

The plane was already making its way down the runway, preparing to take off and they were buckled in. “I just need a little nap,” she said, laying her head on his chest. She had to sit upright for takeoff, but the second they were in the air she curled up against Jaime and was out. 

When she finally woke again they were closing in on Vegas and already making their descent. “You gotta be kidding me?” Brienne gasped. “How could I sleep that long again?” 

Jaime chuckled. “It’s been quite the day, clearly you needed the rest.” The way he was looking at her was so tender it made her heart skip a beat. “Oh hey, you asked me to take you to a strip club…” 

“I did not,” Brienne laughed, she remembered a dream she been having and realized she probably did ask him. 

“Yep… and you were muttering something about wishing you weren’t pregnant so you could ride the bull too,” he gave her an amused look. 

“Oh yeah,” she replied. “You rode a mechanical bull. It was sexy… until you went flying ass over tea kettle.” The flight attendant came by to let them know the plane would be landing soon and made sure they were buckled in. “We’re almost there,” Brienne said happily, taking Jaime’s hand. “This is so exciting.” 

Once they landed Brienne turned her cell on again and saw she had 3 missed calls and 2 voicemails. She bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud and quickly showed the phone to Jaime. She didn’t even have to listen to the voicemail to know it was Med asking to come over and see her. Payback is a bitch Stark, she thought, deleting the messages without listening to them. She had 4 nights in Vegas with the man of her dreams and she would happily ignore Ned until her feet were back on Pennsylvania soil.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you will love this. Some of you will hate it. I know as hard as I try I won't ever make everyone happy, but I just hope those of you who have read this far will see it through even if you aren't happy with this chapter. We're nearing the end anyway :)

“Not again,” Brienne moaned. “Two hours? I slept for two hours?” she whined. “Jaime, oh God, I’m so sorry… I’m ruining your trip.” 

“Would you stop,” he said, sitting down beside her in bed. “You’re not ruining anything.” 

“Yes I am,” she sat up with a pout. “We’ve been here for 2 days and I’ve slept 46 hours of it.” 

“You’re exaggerating. It’s more like 42,” he teased. Suddenly Brienne burst into tears. It may have actually been the 42nd time she’d cried in the last two days. Pregnancy hormones had her so out of whack and he was walking on eggshells trying not to upset her, but he had yet to figure out what set her off and what wouldn’t. He knew she was even more of a mess because she couldn’t control her emotions and wasn’t acting like herself at all so he was doing his best to be sympathetic or funny if it was appropriate. “Hey, shhh,” he said reaching an arm around her. “I love you.” 

“I don’t know why,” she sniffed miserably. “And you won’t in a few months when I get fat and my ankles are the size of my thighs and my feet won’t fit in my shoes so I have to wear flip flops from the dollar tree.” 

“Shh, it’s okay, I will buy you flip flops from freaking Target. Only the best for my baby,” Jaime said, stroking her hair. 

Brienne started to giggle and slapped him. “I hate love you.” 

“Well I love love you, forever. Fat ankles and all,” he said, kissing her cheek. 

“Can we go to the pool?” she asked. “I wanna wear that bikini before…” her voice drifted off and she sniffled again. 

“Only if you promise you’ll put on sunscreen this time,” Jaime said with a grin. He’d left her alone at the pool for an hour the first day and she’d fallen asleep in the sun and was as red as a lobster. It was just starting to fade. 

Before she replied Brienne’s phone buzzed with a call. She picked it up and a satisfied smirk appeared on her face. “3rd time today,” she said, showing him it was Ned calling. “He’s going nuts isn’t he?” 

“Oh fuck yeah,” Jaime agreed with a chuckle. Part of him was starting to feel guilty. He’d never been able to hold a grudge for long. Even when someone had been as awful to him as Ned had, Jaime just couldn’t help but want to forgive and forget. 

“You know on second thought… let’s skip the pool. Let’s go out tonight,” Brienne said enthusiastically. “Who knows how long I’ll last, but let’s go find somewhere nice to eat and then just wander around, check out some of the other hotels… maybe ride on that tram thingy that takes you all over.” 

Jaime already had visions of her falling asleep on the tram thing and him having to carry her back to bed, but he kept the thought to himself because he knew for sure that one would get the waterworks flowing again. “Whatever you want to do, I’m game,” he replied. But there was something he needed to tell her before they left. “Hey, I need you to know that if we don’t leave this room for the next two days I’ll be every bit as happy as I would be roaming around the city.” He touched her tummy. “You’re carrying our baby in there,” Jaime whispered, looking up at her. “That, and being with you, makes me the happiest man in the world.” There were tears in her eyes again, but they weren’t the kind he was trying to avoid so it was okay. “I love you. All I want is to be with you. It’s all I’ve wanted… my whole life.” 

“Jaime... ” She put her hand over his on her tummy. “Marry me.” She looked slightly shocked that the words came out of her mouth. 

“Uh… okay…are you sure…” he stammered, in complete and utter shock. 

“I’m sure,” Brienne nodded eagerly. “I don’t know where this impulsivity came from, but I wanna do it. I wanna get married. Now. Tonight. Here.” 

“Oh… now… tonight…” Jaime repeated. Was this really happening? 

“Oh my God, Jaime… I’m so sorry… you want a real wedding don’t you? A big wedding, with friends and stuff?” She looked disappointed. 

“No, no, no,” he said quickly. “I don’t need any of that. But do you?” 

Brienne shook her head. “Wedding planning is way too much work. I did it once and we all know how that turned out.” She reached out and took both of his hands in hers. “I just… I just need you. We don’t have to get married, but we could… There are chapels all over this town.” 

He couldn’t believe what was happening. He was going to be a dad. And now Brienne wanted to marry him. The woman he’d wanted all his life just proposed and in a few hours they would be husband and wife. “I have one condition,” he said with a grin. 

“Anything,” she replied, looking happy and excited again. 

“No Elvis,” Jaime said with a chuckle. 

Brienne laughed. “Done!” 

“One more thing…” Jaime couldn’t resist asking. He needed an honest and truthful answer. “Why? Why now? Why here? What made you decide?” 

She sensed his need for an explanation and she gave him one. “It was what you said earlier, just before I asked you to marry me. About loving me your whole life. I know this sounds silly…” Brienne paused and searched his eyes for a moment. “But I feel like I’ve loved you my whole life too. I know we’ve only been together a really short amount of time, but… it really feels like part of me always knew you were the one… even if I didn’t know. I’m not making any sense,” she shook her head. Jaime went to comfort her, but she started to speak again. “I feel like fate brought us together and was trying to bring us together all along. Your sweater… all those years it was my source of comfort… I just didn’t know it was yours. It’s the same thing. All this time my heart and soul was already yours… I just didn’t know.” Her eyes were shining. “I sound like a damn romance novel,” she muttered. 

Jaime shook his head, “No, you sound perfect. You are perfect.” He stood up and took her hand. “Let’s do this.” 

She slipped out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. “Just gotta freshen up,” she said sweetly, popping her head back out the door. With a smile and a sigh Jaime flopped backwards onto the bed to wait. Better get used to it, he told himself. Men spend their lives waiting on a woman. Hell, he’d waited years for her, what was a few more minutes? He knew he was lucky though because Brienne really didn’t take long at all compared to other ladies. 

Only one hour later he was standing inside a little chapple. Brienne was somewhere in the back getting ready and he was already in a tux that actually fit him quite well. Jaime was pleasantly surprised by the set up. It wasn’t cheap by any means, but the chapel had absolutely everything they needed for a cute little genuine ceremony. 

He felt his palms start to sweat. He couldn’t understand why he was so nervous for something he’d dreamed of. But he soon realized it was because he’d wanted it for so long and he’d lay in bed so many nights knowing for sure it wasn’t going to happen. He’d told himself daily, especially leading up to her wedding with Ned, that Brienne would never be his. It wasn’t in the cards. It wasn’t possible. But now he was here… in Vegas… moments away from marrying the woman of his dreams… It just wasn’t supposed to be happening, so clearly something would ruin it, right? 

“You look like you’re gonna hurl,” a voice said. Jaime turned and saw the minister that would be performing the ceremony. “But let me ease your mind… there’s an absolutely stunning bride in the back room. And in the 22 years I’ve been doing these things… I’ve never seen a woman more in love and more happy to be getting married.” 

“Pfft,” Jaime scoffed. “I bet you say that to all the nervous grooms.” 

The minister shook his head. “I don’t. I swear on my lord and savior.” He looked up. For a religious man to say that Jaime knew he had to be speaking the truth. “Look,” he said, gesturing for Jaime to sit. “I’m not naive. I know that probably 90 percent of the marriages I perform here will end in divorce.” He shrugged, “People come to Vegas with wild ideas. Something about the city is liberating. They do things in the spur of the moment. Sometimes they get home and regret it. Sometimes they try to make it work. Sometimes it actually does. But 9 in 10 times it doesn’t.” Was this supposed to be making him feel better, Jaime wondered. “There’s 1 in 10 though… 1 in 10 that live happily ever after. And never have I been more certain that the couple I’m marrying will be the one that lasts.” He patted Jaime on the knee. “She loves you. And I know from that look in your eye that you feel the same way about her. So what do you say we get up to that altar and you can do some deep breathing because in a few minutes - she’s gonna take your breath away.” 

Jaime nodded and they walked together to the little altar at the front of the room. The butterflies were still in his stomach, but they were different. They were from a nervous excitement and anticipation. His eyes were trained on the back of the room and he just couldn’t wait to finally see his bride. 

 

NED - NED - NED - NED - NED - NED - NED 

“Jesus Ned, give me that.” Catelyn snatched the bottle of Jack from his hand and put the lid on it. Earlier he’d been pouring it in a glass, but he’d given up and taken to drinking straight from the bottle. He wasn’t drunk, well, not completely. But he was damn sure getting there. “How much have you had?” she asked. She was mad, he could see it in her eyes. 

“Not enough,” he replied. But he didn’t reach for the bottle. He knew she wouldn’t give it back and there was no point in trying to convince her. 

“Yeah, I think you have,” she shot back, giving him a look. “You’ve been distant for days. And quite frankly, you’ve been a bit of an asshole. Now I find you here getting plastered when you have a shift in 7 hours. What’s going on?” 

Her words came out grave, not exactly angry, but maybe a little mad laced with concern. “It’s Brienne,” he replied with a deep sigh. 

“What about her?” Cat snapped. “You better not be bothering her again… can’t you just let her be happy? With Jaime?” Ned saw the hurt in her eyes and he realized he had to come clean. Catelyn had to know she was the woman he wanted, not Brienne. He didn’t like the doubt that was creeping into her face. He understood it and he knew it would take time for her to finally accept that she was the only one for him. But could she possibly get past the new he was about to break to her? 

He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. It was time to get the secret off his chest. He couldn’t hide the truth any longer. “It’s just… well… Cat… she’s pregnant. Brienne is pregnant… with my baby.” 

Catelyn’s reaction wasn’t what he was expecting at all. She didn’t look upset. She didn’t look angry. She looked… well… perplexed. “Ned, Sweetie…” she stepped closer and kissed his forehead. “I’m gonna make you some coffee and then… we need to talk.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, only one more chapter after this one! Prepare yourself for some really sappy shit coming up. Sorry if that ain't your thang, LOL But there's been enough angst, here comes the fluff :)

“Ned, there’s something you gotta know,” Catelyn said gently, taking a seat beside him on the couch. He was really in rough shape, but he’d drank down half the cup of coffee she’d made him and ate the grilled cheese. He would come around soon, but in the meantime she wasn’t waiting for him to be fully sober before she got into things. He wasn’t completely wasted, he would understand everything she had to say and then he could get his ass to bed and get some much needed sleep. 

“Can it wait?” he groaned, holding his head. 

Cat offered him the tylenol and water she’d just brought in. “Nope. You need to know the truth so you can stop acting like a complete asshole.” 

His eyes snapped to her face and she knew she’d sounded extremely cold. But this guy he’d become lately… it wasn’t the man she’d fallen in love with. His intentions were good, deep down she knew that he only wanted what was best for Brienne, but it was at the expense of Jaime - a man Ned had considered his best friend from when they were kids. The insanity needed to stop so they could all move towards healing the wounds and damage that had been done - if it was even possible that that point, Catelyn was quite skeptical of that. She had seriously considered taking a break from Ned, but the only thing keeping her by his side was knowing his heart was true and seeing the guilt he was piling on himself. She would certainly make it clear that if any more of this type of behaviour appeared - she was done. 

“Ned, the baby isn’t yours. Believe me, it’s not,” she informed him, trying to keep her voice soft and smooth. He wasn’t sure how he was going to take the news. 

“Of course it is,” he snapped. “They haven’t been together long enough…” 

“They have,” Catelyn nodded. “You can get pregnancy tests that will detect a woman is pregnant at less than 2 weeks, maybe even less.” She touched his arm, “The baby is Jaime’s.” 

Ned narrowed his eyes and studied her face. “There’s more. Tell me. How are you so sure?” 

He was a cop and he knew her very well, so Cat wasn’t at all surprised when he pressed her. “Brienne was on birthcontrol from the day you set the wedding date. I always assumed you knew but it came up about two weeks before the wedding and she said she’d never told you.” 

“She was what?” Ned gasped, jumping to his feet. “How… how could she?” 

Cat crossed her arms and looked at him. “How could she not?” Ned was pacing. “She bought a dress, had a wedding planned… she didn’t want to get pregnant until after. Why are you so shocked? So upset?” 

Slowly he sunk back down to where he’d been sitting. “I don’t know,” he sighed, looking absolutely defeated. “I don’t know… I don’t know anything anymore…” She reached out and pulled his head against her chest. She’d fully expected to be angry with him, but she was sure she was going to get far more ego and resistance. Catelyn surely was not expecting him to be sobbing against her chest as she consoled him. “What have I done?” he muttered between sobs. 

Cat let him cry and soothed him for a while. Then finally she spoke, “Babe, you know I love you right?” She made sure her words were very gentle and non confrontational. Ned sat up a bit and rubbed the tears away. He nodded. “Then you have to believe me when I say… you’ve acted like a major dick these last few weeks.” She cupped his face and gave him a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.” She’d seen the fear in his eyes but it eased with her promise. “But Ned, you gotta fix this. Or at least try… I wouldn’t blame Jaime if he told you to fuck off and never spoke to you again… Briene too…she is the most stubborn person I know….” She watched his expressions as she spoke and for the first time Catelyn was confident he was fully comprehending his behaviour. 

“I know,” he said with a long sigh. “I know.” 

BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE - BRIENNE 

Brienne was laughing when Jaime swept her off her feet and carried her into their hotel room. It had been an absolutely amazing afternoon and evening. She was still in shock that tucked safely in her purse was a piece of paper that officially declared her and Jaime to be husband and wife. 

The chapel, the preacher, the ceremony… it might have been one of the cheesiest things she’d ever seen at first. Cheap rings, a tux and a dress that fit better than expected, but not perfectly, a bouquet of artificial flowers that looked real in the photos they received afterwards, traditional music, witnesses they didn’t know… But none of that mattered the second she started down the aisle and met Jaime’s eye. 

He was crying by the time she met him at the altar and of course, so was she. They spoke the vows the minister had prepared and even though they were generic and rehearsed… when they repeated the words - they both meant every single one. She would honor him and cherish him for the rest of their lives and she knew Jaime would be by her side in sickness and in health. Til death do us part… She had absolutely no doubt that death would be the only thing that could possibly end the love they felt for each other. 

What had been just a crazy idea at first turned into the most special moment of her entire life, though she knew there would be so many more special moments with Jaime to come. After the ceremony they had went out for a nice dinner and spent some time wandering around the city, checking out the strip and some of the other incredible hotels. She was very proud of herself for fighting off the urge to take a nap on the closest bench and found that as long as she kept busy the sleepiness wasn’t too bad. 

As Jaime set her on her feet and closed the door behind him, the last thing on her mind was sleeping. He attacked her lips and she knew he felt the same way. It was late, but there was something far more pressing to take care of before their eyes closed for the night. It had been building for a while, since they had danced to a slow, sexy spanish song at a little casino bar over an hour earlier. In his arms, in the dark, Brienne had almost forgot for a moment that they weren’t alone. She kissed him while they danced and things got pretty heated before he pulled away and looked at her with his adorable little blush. 

It was that moment that sent them scrambling back to their hotel, but from across town it was a long way, made even longer by the fact that she was so turned on she could have took him right there riding on public transportation. They held hands the entire way and the heat of their skin touching had drove her crazy. 

But finally they were in their room, alone, kissing and ready to make love for the first time as husband and wife. “I love you Brienne, so much,” Jaime whispered, moving to kiss her neck and throat as they started to remove their clothing. 

When he lay her down in bed naked Jaime kissed her tummy. “I love you too,” she finally replied, touching his hair. It made her so happy to know how much he loved their baby already. It was everything. He, was everything. And their child would bond them in a new way, only strengthening the deep bond they already had. 

When he started to fuck her, it wasn’t anything new or different, but the feeling they had created with the events of the day and the love surrounding them both, filling the room, it felt better than it ever had before. They had given themselves to each other for life, ceremoniously, and now they were sealing the pomp and circumstance with an act of love and commitment. 

The lovemaking was so tender, yet passionate and Brienne wanted it to last forever, even after she came while looking into his eyes. Words like fate, good karma and soulmates swirled in her mind - things she’d never really believed so deeply before. She had been angry at Ned for stealing time she could have spent with Jaime, but now part of her wondered if everything was simply working out the way it was supposed to. Perhaps if her life hadn’t went the way it had and if his hadn’t went the way it did - they wouldn’t have felt the same way about each other at the right moment in their lives. She was deeply attracted to his wild side and that bad boy inside him, but had things been different perhaps that part of him never would have emerged. And Brienne knew there were things about her personality that have arisen given the challenges she’d faced, maybe it was the same for him? Whatever the case, they were together and they were insanely happy - that’s what mattered most. 

She snuggled with Jaime as he rolled onto the bed after he came. They were still joined, but he was careful not to put his weight on her tummy, even if it very likely wasn’t an issue so early on. They stayed that way for a while before adjusting their positions to prepare to sleep. 

Brienne was exhausted but she reached to check her phone before bed and saw 6 more missed calls from Ned - she made a decision right then. “Jaime,” she said, likely waking him up. “It’s time.” 

“What? Huh? Time? For what?” he said sleepily, sitting up to look at her. 

“I know we were supposed to stay longer, but I wanna change our flight - leave in the morning,” she said with conviction. 

“Okay…” he looked at her curiously. “What’s wrong?” 

“With us? Absolutely nothing,” she replied, smiling at him. “We’re married. We love each other… we have a baby on the way…” she touched her tummy. “Everything is perfect and I couldn’t be happier.” She pulled Jaime’s hand on top of her own. “But I can’t do it anymore… with Ned… Making him miserable isn’t making me feel any better,” she admitted. “It’s stealing away from my own happiness.” 

Jaime nodded. “Me too,” he admitted. 

“So let’s go home and fix it,” Brienne said, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can forgive what he did… all he’s done since… But I’m ready to at least let go of some of the hate. I’ll tell him the truth and probably keep my distance for a while, maybe forever… But I promise I won’t interfere with whatever you feel you need to do with Ned.” She paused and then smiled at him. “And as much as I love you… you’re a terrible girlfriend and you don’t gossip, like AT ALL. I really need my best friend back.” Brienne knew it would never be the same with Cat, there was a level a trust they couldn’t possibly get back to again. But like she’d said earlier, holding on to all the negativity was stealing from her happiness. 

Jaime chuckled. “Fair enough,” he nodded. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Get some sleep beautiful… and tomorrow we go home - as husband and wife.” Brienne smiled back at him, she loved the sound of that and she was pretty sure she was the happiest woman in the world.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it’s been a ride! I could continue this for several more chapters until the baby is born, etc but I really felt like the best spot to end is when the major conflict is resolved. I’m eternally grateful for the support on this one. I understand that this chapter will upset some of you, while others will find it satisfying. I tried my best to find some middle ground and I hope you all can appreciate that. I desperately hate disappointing people with endings, especially with the time and support and all you have invested in this one. Thank you guys so very much! Hugs!

**Conclusion**

“They’re here,” Jaime announced as Brienne started a pot of coffee brewing. Catelyn and Ned had just pulled into the driveway in Ned’s truck and suddenly Brienne felt nervous. What it this went badly? 

Two days earlier when they left Vegas she had texted Ned and asked him and Cat to come over that evening. Jaime had to head back to Philly for work the next day and she needed to have him there for the conversation. It needed to be all four of them because the issue they were dealing with affected them all. She didn’t want to wait until Jaime was off again because it was time - she was ready. 

“Hey, you okay?” Jaime asked, coming up behind her for a quick hug. “If you aren’t eady… I can ask them to leave.” 

“No, no,” Brienne turned inside his embrace and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I have everything I need right here… but I don’t like the dark shadow hanging over me… us… I need to fix it. I don’t know how this is gonna go, but…” she shrugged. “It’s time to talk.” 

The doorbell rang and Jaime went to answer it. Brienne watched him disappear into the hallway. He was trying so hard to stay neutral but she knew he was happy. He missed Ned as much as she missed Catelyn. They had each other and if that’s how it was for the rest of their life it would be okay, they would be happy, but Brienne knew they would both always have this little part that was missing. Cat was her rock her entire life and Brienne missed her deeply. Even if she never wanted to forgive Ned for what he’d done, she knew she had to try because she wanted Catelyn back in her life. 

For Jaime it was different. The things Ned had done to him were awful, horrible, unforgivable - in her mind. But Jaime had such a big, tender heart and Brienne knew it would destroy him to carry around that much hate for someone who meant so much to him his whole life. Jaime needed to forgive and move on. He needed to trust that Ned would never hurt him again. He needed to believe that they could all move past this. So Brienne would do her best with respect to Ned - if not for anything but Cat and Jaime. 

 

Jaime led them into the kitchen just as she was pouring coffee. It was eerily quiet and that made Brienne even more nervous. This was her show and they would all wait for her to start things. But she needed just a little more time. She set the mugs on the table, two at a time. All three of them thanked her when she did. She’d already made their coffees because she knew what everyone took. Black for Jaime. Milk only for Cat. Cream and two sugar for Ned. And one sweetener and a splash of milk for her. 

Finally she took a deep breath and sat down. “Thank you for coming,” she said, finally looking at the two people sitting across the table. They were so familiar, but they felt almost like strangers after so much time apart. These were two people she hadn’t gone more than half a day without talking to. And it had been weeks since they had sat down for a real conversation. “I’m just gonna jump right in,” Brienne said. She knew she was going to ramble and she knew she was going to talk way too fast, but she had to get it all out - quickly, before she lost her nerve. “You both know that I’m pregnant,” she started, watching them nod. “And you both need to know that it’s definitely Jaime’s baby…” Brienne paused for a moment because she was waiting for objection from Ned. She looked at him, still waiting. 

“Cat told me about the birth control,” he said finally. 

Brienne nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that before…” She really didn’t want to apologize to Ned, but when they were together, about to be married, she should have been honest with him. 

“It’s fine,” he said, dismissing her apology. What is going on? She wondered. The last she knew Ned was sure it was his baby and wanted to raise the child. Now he was being so agreeable… She shifted her eyes to Catelyn and realized that someone had given Ned’s conscience a pep talk. 

“While I’m throwing it all out on the table… you should know that Jaime and I got married a few days ago,” Brienne said, looking over at him and reaching for his hand. “We eloped.” 

“Oh my God…” Ned muttered, looking shocked. 

Catelyn gasped, but smiled. “Congratulations,” she gushed. Brienne could tell Cat was struggling with the urge to hug her, or at least reach out. But they weren’t quite there yet. 

“Thank you,” Brienne replied, giving Jaime a smile. If anything in the world could make her happy in a tense moment it was the thought that the man beside her was now her husband and would be by her side for life. 

Okay… now what? Sbe thought. Just go with it… start talking, she told herself. She sucked in a deep breath and looked at Catelyn. “I miss you,” Brienne sighed. “I’m so happy… but I can’t be completely happy without you in my life.” She reached out and Cat quickly met her, as they took each other’s hands across the table. 

“I miss you too,” she got out, her words choked with tears. “I’m so sorry for all of this Bri. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you… if you’ll let me.” 

Brienne started to tear up too and she nodded. “We’ll work it out - we have to.” They squeezed each other’s hands before Brienne finally pulled away to dab her eyes with a napkin. Catelyn did the same. 

Then Brienne turned her attention to Ned. “And then there’s you,” she said coldly. “I can’t forgive you… not yet. I don’t care about cancelling the wedding or you falling in love with Catelyn… the heart wants what the heart wants. But Ned, what you did to Jaime… and to me by association… I just can’t let it go - not yet.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him with a hand. “But I know that Jaime still wants you in his life. He misses you and it breaks my heart to see that. He’s good Ned. He’s so good. He’s kind and he has a heart of gold…” She looked over at Jaime who was turning red. “He needs to put this all behind him and move on. So whether I think you deserve forgiveness or not - it doesn’t matter because I refuse to hurt Jaime any more than he’s already been hurt.” He looked like he wanted to say something again, so she stopped him. “I don’t know that I will ever have an sort of relationship with you again… I just can’t say one way or the other right now - I’m too jaded. But I will support Jaime, with whatever he chooses. I’ll be civil… I’ll be cordial… but that’s all I can offer.” 

Ned had tears in his eyes. As much as she didn’t want to let that affect her she couldn’t help but feel a little pang in her heart. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Is it okay if I say a few things?” he asked. She appreciated that he asked first and nodded. “Let me start by saying I have been an absolute asshole - to you both, to all of you…” he looked at Catelyn. “I was so convinced I was doing the right thing, protecting you,” he said to Brienne. “That it all spiralled out of control.” He looked tortured and again, even though she didn’t want to - she reacted emotionally. “What started as a hint of jealousy when we were kids just grew and grew until it consumed me.” Ned looked down at his hands. “I became someone I’m not. Someone I don’t even recognize. And there’s nothing I can do now but say that I’m sorry.” He looked up at Jaime. “You’re my best friend. And I have treated you like shit for so much longer than I care to admit. Jaime, you deserve better. You do. But if you can somehow find forgiveness… if you can somehow let yourself trust me again - I swear I will never do anything to hurt you again. I will make you a priority... “ His voice wavered with emotion. “I love you like a brother and I only want what’s best for you.” 

Brienne looked over and she saw that Jaime was likely about to cry. “Come on,” she said to Cat, standing up. “Let’s go to the living room for a moment.” They left the guys alone and went out and sat on the couch. Catelyn asked about the wedding and Brienne started to tell her. In a matter of minutes it felt almost like it used to and she knew she’d made the right decision. A weight was lifted off her and the world became so much brighter. She had her best friend back in her life and it was even more satisfying than Brienne could have ever imagined. 

About 20 minutes later the men came into the living room. “There’s something I have for you two,” Ned said. “Something I found the other night when I was taking a trip down memory lane with a bottle of whiskey.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out three photos. He handed them to Brienne. “Whether you knew it or not back then… you loved him. It was always him. I think part of me always knew that too.” 

Brienne took the photos and looked at them. The first was the whole group of them but she was looking across a big bonfire at Jaime. The look on her face was easily recognizable - she was smitten. She looked at it again to see if there was anyone else she could have been looking at, but it was most definitely Jaime. It made her heart flutter and she smiled as she passed it to him. The next one was her with Jaime’s arms around her about to throw her off the bank into the river. She was smiling and so was he. They looked like they were a happy teenage couple. The last photo was another group shot and Brienne was standing behind Jaime who was sitting on the ground, but her hand was on his shoulder and he was holding it. She couldn’t place that moment at all. It hit her hard. Why were they holding hands like that? She looked up at Ned, confused. 

“It was right after the Martell family moved. We were all a little lost that night,” Ned explained. They were such a tight group that losing any member affected them deeply. “You knew, even back then that the bad boy was always the sensitive one… he needed comfort and you were giving him that.” 

Brienne looked at the photo a little longer and then finally passed it to Jaime. “I remember that night,” he said. “You told me…” Jaime thought for a moment. “People come and go but the print they leave on your heart lasts forever.” 

“I said that?” Brienne asked in surprise. “Who knew I was so full of wisdom?” 

“I did,” Catelyn said. 

“Me too,” Ned agreed. Jaime gave her a knowing look and nodded, then he hugged her. 

“Give me your truck keys,” she said to Ned, an idea coming to her mind. 

“Uh… okay…” he replied, looking unsure as he handed her the keys. 

“Come on, we’re going for a drive,” Brienne said. They all followed her and climbed into the truck. She drove and before she parked they all knew where she was taking them. It was the place they used to go all the time as kids. It was the place she’d fallen in love with Jaime and his wild heart. It was a sanctuary. And it was the one place she could look at Ned and remember that there really were good times. 

“I haven’t been here in so many years,” Catelyn said as they hiked up the path. “So many good memories,” she sighed as they reached their destination. 

“When was the last time you jumped a train?” Ned asked Jaime with a smirk. 

“Not as long ago as you’d think,” he replied, glancing at Brienne with a smile. 

They all sat down and Jaime started a fire in the little pit all the kids still used on the weekends. It was a chilly Pennsylvania night and the fire felt good. Brienne leaned against Jaime and he wrapped an arm around her. On the other side of the fire Ned and Cat were mirroring them. It was strange to see them like that, in the same place where she’d sat like that with Ned for so many years. But she didn’t feel even a pang of jealousy because she knew she was right where she was supposed to be. 

Brienne felt the rumble, they all did. There was a train coming. Jaime looked at her and grinned and then kissed her cheek. She rolled her eyes and nodded, giving him permission to do what he wanted to do so badly. 

“Come on Officer, let’s go,” Jaime said, urging Ned on. The train was getting closer and the lights on the front were bearing down on them. 

“I can’t,” Ned scoffed. “I shouldn’t… I’m supposed to keep people from doing this kinda thing now…” 

“Well then… guess you have a suspect to pursue then, don’t ya?” Jaime replied, laughing as he leapt and disappeared. 

“Better go get him,” Catelyn teased, giving Ned a shove. “He at least needs a warning.” 

“You’re right, he definitely needs a warning,” Ned said with a grin, jumping to his feet. Brienne saw his face, just before he jumped and it screamed freedom. 

She shifted over and reached for Catelyn’s hand. Whatever the next few weeks, months, years, brought she knew this was where she was supposed to be - finally. Jaime was her everything. The future was theirs - together. He was planning a transfer to the Pittsburgh depot so he could move in with her. He was also going to make the switch from long haul to local routes as soon as possible. While she could still travel with him, until she was too far along, she would go on his runs with him. They hoped by the time the baby arrived that he would be working much closer to home. 

She had her best friend back and Brienne knew Cat would be a great support system when she became a new mom. And she even let herself imagine that maybe one day soon Catelyn would be a mom too and their kids would grow up together. She couldn’t bring herself to pull Ned into the dreams and fantasies. She knew he regretted his mistakes and she was truly touched by the photos he’d brought her and his admission that he knew Brienne had loved Jaime, even as kids. But she just couldn’t find forgiveness… not yet. She did have faith that Ned would do whatever he could to earn it from both her and Jaime, so that was a start. 

When the guys returned Ned drove them home and they all said goodnight. Jaime had to leave the next morning for work and she decided to stay home for this trip since she hadn’t been to the doctor yet and she really wanted to visit her volunteer jobs. She would miss him deeply, but she knew he would always come home to her. For the rest of their lives, her and their baby would be where his home was. “I love you Mrs. Lannister,” he whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. 

“I love you too,” Brienne sighed happily. Life was good. And that night, for the first time in weeks she slept peacefully. Forgiveness was good for the soul. But Ned, well… for the time being... he was still an asshole. 

_Forgive, sounds good. Forget, I’m not sure I could. They say, time heals everything, but I’m still waiting… (Dixie Chicks - Not Ready to Make Nice)._


End file.
